OK, we’re done now

There’s a whole story, or at least I could make it a whole story, but let’s be done with it: I didn’t get the job at Nearby District and somehow some of the shittiest “professional development” I have ever encountered today has settled my mind; I will be back at my previous school in two weeks and I’m fine with that. So be it. I’m not even going to complain about the PD. Y’all have seen it. I can’t write it any different.

I actually cancelled another interview that would have been taking place right about now, at yet another school; this principal was open from the very first phone conversation that I was looking at a five-figure pay cut. That in and of itself was not necessarily a deal-killer, although it was pretty fucking close, and then I looked a bit harder and discovered that the commute was nearly an hour each way and that their district started a lot earlier than mine does, meaning that the boy would need at least an hour of either after school or before school child care. One way or another that moved it past the point where it felt like it was feasible, so I cancelled, and the principal didn’t seem especially surprised by it.

But yeah. I’m going to do my damnedest to not complain about anything work-related for the next two weeks. My head is noticeably on straighter than it was this morning and I intend to continue making progress in that direction. I’ve done this eighteen fucking times. I can do one more.

In which I am defeated

There’s no other way to describe it: the kids won today, and by “the kids” I mean the worst elements among them, as I continue to genuinely believe that most of my kids want to be in school and want to learn; I just can’t get to them because of the number of kids standing in the way and spending all of their energy on trying to trip me up.

I am tired and angry and beaten and I need to get up tomorrow and do it all over again, and I’m going to, but right now … fuck it, I’m done.


I’ve alternated between three different moods today: generalized frustration; free-floating, directionless anger; and reading.

Why yes, I am back to work tomorrow! How’d you guess?

Sunday music video dump

Yes, I know good and goddamn well it’s Friday out there in the “real” world, but Thursday and Friday are my weekend and I have to go to work tomorrow so to hell with your normal human days of the week.  It’s Sunday, motherfuckers, let’s rock out:

Oh god damn it


I have made $2500 in commission on my sales this year.  This year.  Six weeks.  I did the math; I’m selling furniture for less than $11 an hour.  The company is currently earning interest on sixty thousand dollars of undelivered product.  I don’t get paid until shit ends up in people’s homes and everything I’ve sold is either still backordered or waiting for someone’s house to be ready.  Right now I expect to make minimum wage this week.  If I wasn’t married to someone who makes a lot more money than me, I’d be staring down homelessness right now.

I had a $12,000 ticket last weekend that didn’t earn me a single dime and won’t pay off until May.  That big $18,000 sale at the very end of December?  Scheduled to deliver on March 20th, still five weeks away; I don’t see a cent until then.

I was at work for nine hours today and sold $13 worth of product.  A co-worker came in on his day off and made $3300 in sales in less than half an hour.

Fuck this.  I could literally be making more money flipping burgers.

I just applied for a teaching position.

God fucking help me.