Things I am not:

1187073_241774096026777_367547367_nI am none of the following, nor am I willing to pretend to be, ever:

  • Irish
  • Catholic
  • Drunk

I am therefore also not:

  • wearing green

And I literally bit the face off of the last poor fool who tried to:

  • pinch me.

St. Patrick’s Day may literally be my least favorite day of the year.

  • Bah Humbug.

Okay, stop the world, I’m getting off

Ladies and gentlemen!

I give you… the internet.