YAY MATERIALISM

unnamed.jpgThe real bullshit about this picture is that 1) it in no way really captures the level of utter chaos my living room has descended into, while simultaneously capturing perfectly the horror that is my living room carpet; and 2) I cleaned the room when I got home yesterday.  The boy turned 5 on Tuesday and spent all day Sunday acquiring new toys from various and sundry relatives and friends; last night, we took him to the local Toys-R-Us to spend a couple of gift cards and some birthday cash he got.

We, uh, probably should have parceled that shit out over a couple of months or something.  Dude has so many new presents that he hasn’t even taken everything out of the packaging yet, and what with how kids’ toys are packaged nowadays our recycling bin is already overflowing with over a week left until they come pick it up again.  Today is my day off and I’m hiding in the office rather than dealing with the mess; he probably ought to at least help and I just don’t have any Goddamn idea where to put any of the crap anyway.

tl;dr I am fortunate enough that my kid having too many people who love him and want to give him stuff is a problem.

Note that I am not unaware that every single book on a shelf behind all those toys is mine.  He’s a kid; he’s gonna take as many toys as he can get people to give him.  I have no excuse for the vast quantities of crap I’ve accumulated over the years.  The difference is I have places to put my shit.

Oh and also I pay for the mortgage so shut up.


I have, in general, been mostly trying to avoid writing about the election here, which accounts for some, but not all, of the shorter posts lately– if my options are “write about the election” and “not write much” I’ve been choosing the latter far more often than the former, especially since I have Twitter to be militant on anyway.  But this story is too insane to be believed– that Donald Trump’s political organization is so insanely incompetent that, with the rest of today and one business day until the deadline on Monday, Trump isn’t on the ballot in Minnesota yet.

Take a minute and think about how utterly shit you have to be at running things for that to happen.  And people are going to vote for this hairsack.  I mean, I know, I get it– he’s not actually interested in being president and the whole campaign is a grift.  He has no campaign staff, no boots on the ground, no organization, no nothing.  He’s not really running.  I know.  But shit, he’s not even trying to look like he’s taking this seriously.

Motherfucking water


Motherfucking rain motherfucking crawl space motherfucking al gore motherfuck fuckery fucking fuck.

In which it’s my Friday and I need advice

When I left work today everyone said “Have a good weekend” to me, because at my new job no one knows how days of the week work.  But one way or another I have the next two days off.  I intend to spend most of tonight watching speeches at the DNC.  The question: Liveblog?  Or just stay on Twitter the whole time?

I don’t know if I’ve subjected anyone over here to one of my political liveblogs yet.  They were mostly a feature of my previous blog.

Hmmm.

EDIT:  I’m on Twitter.  Come say hi.

In which I pay insufficient attention to national events

2016_democratic_national_convention_logo.jpgI deliberately ignored the entirety of the RNC, and due to my work schedule I’m only just now tuning into a few minutes of the Democratic convention before falling into bed and dying.  I was treated to a few minutes of Jeffrey Lord being an idiot and now the crowd is mostly ignoring a speech by a NYPD detective who was serving on September 11.

And now he’s done, rather abruptly, and there’s a 9/11 survivor talking, and I’m sorta losing interest already.  Bill Clinton is speaking later, but I don’t know what “later” means and I know for sure that i’m probably not going to last to see it.

My understanding is that the speeches yesterday went well, and that Bernie echoed Hillary’s move in 2008, calling for her to be nominated by acclamation, and that a number of his delegates are being jackasses.  I have a half day tomorrow, so I may catch up on some of the stuff I missed; we’ll see.

I spent an hour and a half unloading furniture trucks this morning, guys.  Brain’s turning off.  How was your day?

In which reality and Twitter are both dumb

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So seeing this tweet from Kirsten Gillibrand got me all het up at first.  There is no way in the universe that Citizens United is going to be overturned in Hillary’s first 30 days in office.  It’s a literal impossibility.  Even with the most compliant Congress of all time, it’s not going to happen, because it can’t.  It would require either another court case to make its way through the system that would challenge United (but would likely not result in an overturn, since the court’s not that much different now) or an actual amendment to the Constitution, which cannot happen in a 30-day timeframe.

I had the blog post composed almost immediately, all full of Dammit, if Trump said something this stupid it would be because he doesn’t know how the government works, but I know you know better, so this is just a lie and a bunch of other similar critical-of-the-person-I’m-voting-for sort of stuff.

Then I clicked on the link, which I had actually missed on my first read of the Tweet, because I was eating and distracted while looking at Twitter, and what Gillibrand means is that Clinton will call for an amendment during her first thirty days, and that the “working to overturn” will start within the first thirty days, not the actual overturn itself.  Which is a perfectly reasonable thing and while perhaps not politically possible is at least a thing that the President is capable of doing.

So there goes that post in a puff of “do your reading, asshole” and Twitter brevity.  Sigh.


I’ve paid no attention whatsoever to the Republican convention and don’t intend to start now.  So I have nothing to say about that.


I actually went and looked at a car this afternoon, and pretty much ruined the salesperson’s day by refusing to buy anything.  The 2017 Escape does ride really nicely, though, and while they offered me what I’m pretty sure actually represents a good deal.  He said I wasn’t allowed to take the offer sheet they gave me home with me, but then left me alone with it for a few minutes so of course I took a picture, because seriously, dude, it’s 2016, don’t leave me alone with the damn thing if you don’t want me to have a copy.

Nonetheless, I will not be buying a car until I’m certain I can hand over the down payment in cash.  Which I can’t do just yet.  But maybe by wintertime?  We’ll see.


We’re supposed to see a 110 degree heat index on Friday, so all this is entirely moot, as the world will have caught on fire and I will have died by then.  So… I dunno, try to get laid in the next couple of days?  Because you may not have another chance.

On Mike Pence…

…might be the title of the post I would write about Mike Pence joining Donald Trump’s ticket, were I able to do anything other than laugh hysterically at the idea.

Bye, Mike.  Your ignorant, bigoted ass won’t be missed at all.

Cedric the Entertainer on Trump/Gingrich 2016

A FAQ on Hillary Clinton’s Nomination for the Presidency of the United States, for Those Who May Be Confused

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So.  Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

WASN’T THE AP JUMPING THE GUN JUST A BIT?

Well, maybe, if only because I kinda suspect Hillary had a plan for the whole “I’m the nominee” announcement.  But the AP is not required to consult her campaign before repeating the truth.  There are some states today, yeah.  She’ll win a couple and lose a couple; the announcement might have changed some people’s plan– on both sides– to vote today.  But all in all?  Nah.

BUT THE SUPERDELEGATES!

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE VOTING!

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT CLOSED PRIMARIES!

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

THE PRIMARY ISN’T–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT THE CONVENTION–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

THE SUPERDELEGATES HAVEN’T–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT BERNIE MIGHT–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT WHAT IF–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

BUT–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

WHAT ABOUT–

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America.

Hope this helps.