In which I ask the hivemind

I need some more conventions, y’all.  Right now I think the next con I’m actually signed up to attend is the next Indy Pop Con in June.  I’m registered for Kokomo-Con again.  And … I think that’s it?  I’ve had a little bit of a run of being turned down by juried cons (I tried to get into both ConFusion in Detroit this January and a February comic convention) and I’ve decided to not apply to the Fort Wayne PopCon in between Christmas and New Year’s, mostly because … well, it’s between Christmas and New Year’s, and it’s a first-year con, and that strikes me as vaguely insane.  I hope they’re successful, don’t get me wrong, and if they are I’ll be there next year, but they’re charging PopCon prices for what I’m pretty certain isn’t gonna be close to PopCon attendance and right now it’s not worth the risk.  

Plus, well, check the posts at the end of December around here for any of the last six years.  The weather tends to not lend itself to long road trips.

So.  Anyway.  If you happen to know of any science fiction conventions, comic book shows, or genre/author events in the next six months within, say, a three- or four- hour drive of northern Indiana, let me know.  I’m looking at one in Louisville over Easter weekend, too, but it’s over Easter, which has its own set of complications to it.  


I’ve finished a story over at Patreon, called The Caretaker, and I’m really fond of it.  The story is posted in five parts and in first-draft form (I literally wrote it straight into the Patreon website; it’s not copy-pasted) and it will be posted again in .mobi and .epub form once it’s cleaned up a touch, but I like it and I think you will too.  Just $1 a month gets you access to a bunch of microfictions and three or four short stories, and $2 a month gets you an entire exclusive novel.  Next Patron is #15!  That’s a great number!  Join us!


Two weeks to winter break, y’all.  There will be Christmas shopping this weekend.  I can do this.  

In which I read locally

It’s kinda always the same booth picture, at this point; only the number of books I have on display changes.  I decided not to bring Searching for Malumba with me for this one, because despite the fact that every kid mentioned in the book is college-aged now (and I don’t use anyone’s real name) I still feel like keeping it from spreading too far out in the town I live and work in isn’t necessarily a bad thing.   And I sold more than enough books to make a nice little profit on 3 hours of sitting in my free booth.

I can stand to do more free author events, frankly.

 An interesting fact: after a couple of years of doing sci-fi and comic book cons, my last two events have both been specifically author events, and at both of them I’ve had more titles available than anyone in the room.  It was especially apparent at this one– there was no one else there who I saw who had more than three, and most people there had only one or two books. The really weird part to me was the number of people who, upon being told that my first book came out in 2014, expressed surprise at how I’d been able to write so fast as to have all those books out already.

And it’s like, damn, folks, I am slow.  I regularly go weeks without writing a word of fiction, because for whatever reason shit has to be straight in my head before it gets set down on paper.  How long have I been saying that the Skylights sequel is my next book, for God’s sake?  Hell, how many entire other books have I written while telling people that the Skylights sequel was next?  And yet I’m sitting there with twice as many books in front of me as anyone in the room, and I’m visibly one of the younger authors there, too.

Things I need to do before my next show:  I need some sort of thick cardstock-printed price placards to put in each of the front-facing books, preferably with some sort of “Like Lovecraft?  You’ll love Balremesh!” or “Like Scalzi? You’ll love Skylights!” text on them.  I also need a new banner or two, preferably something that folds down into its own stand, because my Skylights banner is starting to lean in a way that I don’t understand and can’t fix.   And my front-of-table banner (not used at this show) can probably stand to be updated, too.  No one knows what Prostetnic Publications is anyway so I need something other than just the logo.  I’m gonna have a lot to do over winter break, I think.  

I’ve got some time to worry about it, because right now I’m not signed up for anything else until next summer.  I tried to get into ConFusion, which is in January in Detroit, which was a communication clusterfuck so bad that by the time they told me I hadn’t passed the jury stage of things I didn’t even want to go any longer, and I found out about the Northwest Indiana Comic-Con, which is a one-day thing in February, but they were closed by the time I got to them too.  So if you hear about anything in the next couple of months, let me know, ‘k?  I don’t wanna wait six months until my next show.  


I’ve picked up three new Patrons over the last week or so, and just added a $100 goal to the site.  I’m getting close enough to the $50/month target that I can sorta see it from where we are, so I feel like a little more pushing and we might hit that, especially since I seem to be on a bit of a roll lately.  Remember, anyone pledging more than $2/month gets a new novel immediately, and I’m adding new content all the time– I’ve been working on a new short story over there, The Caretaker, that I ought to be finishing this weekend sometime.  It’s becoming a better deal all the time!  Join us!

In which I appear

Sorry for the super last-minute notice (because I know y’all work your weekend schedules around what I’m doing), because I just found out about this event yesterday and they managed to fit me in anyway, but:  

I will be at the Read Local Author Fair at the main branch of the St. Joseph County Public Library THIS SATURDAY, from 1:30 PM to 4:30 PM.  I’ll have all of my books with me except for Searching for Malumba.  It’s a quick event, free to the public– as far as I know, you don’t even have to have a library card– and featuring a couple dozen other local authors in addition to me!  

(In fact, I got added so late, my name’s not even on the list.  I promise I’ll be there, though.)

If you are nearby you are commanded to come.  If you aren’t you are also commanded to come.  So I’ll see ALL OF YOU there, right?  

Holiday weekend Patreon promotion

Because I’m in “throw stuff at the wall and see if it sticks” mode…

Anyone joining my Patreon at $2/month or above or any current Patron increasing their pledge by literally any amount will be sent a free, signed print copy of Click.  This deal is good through bedtime– mine, not yours– Monday night.  

C’mon.  You know you want in.

Click.

Mike Schafer, a grad student and aspiring writer, finds himself immersed in a strange world of barbarians and monsters after buying a metal puzzle in a local antique store. But are Midrodhel and Gunnbjorn the Bold of his own creation, or is something else going on? As this new world begins to terrifyingly intersect with his own, Mike and his girlfriend Ali must find a way to help Gunnbjorn and his niece Graeslyn the Mighty thwart the Sorceress-Queen Montega in her quest to own all of Midrodhel’s magic and conquer the worlds beyond.

Luther Siler Black Friday deals!

Covers to my books

Ha!  There are no Black Friday deals!  My books are cheap.  Everything is between $0.99 and $5!  Go save money on an e-reader and then fill it up with some awesome new books:

You also have the option of joining my Patreon, which gets you Click at the $2/month level and beyond.

Happy shopping!

In which @amazonhelp doesn’t help

middle-finger-poster-flag-6185-pI’ve been ordering shit from Amazon for twenty years.  I’m a Prime member and I own a quite frankly ridiculous number of books.  I probably place orders with these guys 40-45 times a year, and the vast majority of the time everything is absolutely fine.  I can think of one time where I’ve had major issues with them, and that one probably counted more as a comedy of errors than anyone being particularly malicious or ignorant.

Not so much, this one.

I need a bunch of books for this author expo I’m going to on Sunday.  I have zero copies of Searching for Malumba and less than three each of Benevolence Archives, Vol. 3, Balremesh and other stories, and Benevolence Archives, Vol. 1.  

I ordered new books– 29 of them, I think– on August 27.  The original date range I was supposed to receive them in was the 9th to the 12th of November.  I figured that was okay at first, since I’ve noticed CreateSpace orders often ship much earlier than they’re expected to.  If it didn’t ship right away, I’d just pay more for shipping.

By the 2nd– last Friday– they hadn’t shipped yet.  No big surprise, again; I just upgraded to two-day delivery and the system immediately updated that I’d have everything on the 7th– Wednesday, two days ago.

Wednesday night, I realized I didn’t have my books yet.  In fact, I hadn’t even gotten a shipping notification.  I’m normally more on the ball about this sort of shit, but you may remember an election Tuesday that sort of took up most of my mental energy.  I called Amazon, who blamed my credit card being funny (not in a “you don’t have the money for this” sort of way, but in a “the charge didn’t go through and we don’t know why,” like it was a technical issue as opposed to a funds thing.)  They told me to switch my payment method, I did, the person on the other end seemed pleased, and told me the books would ship Thursday and I’d have them Friday.

“Check back with us Thursday if they haven’t shipped yet,” she says.  And I do so.  And this time, I make certain to do a chat, because those have transcripts.  This transcript has not been altered in any way other than an occasional note in italics and to change my name from my actual name to Luther.

Initial Question: I ordered 28 author copy books through whatever you’re calling CreateSpace on the 27th. On the 2nd they hadn’t shipped yet so I changed shipping to two-day, because I need them by Saturday at the latest. They said they’d arrive Wednesday (yesterday) and as of last night still hadn’t shipped. I spoke with someone at Customer Service who said my credit card was an issue (I hadn’t received notification of this from Amazon or my credit card company and wasn’t aware of it) and I changed the card. As of right now the books have still not shipped despite the delivery estimate still beginning yesterday. I need these books by the 10th at the very latest and would like confirmation that they have shipped or a date when they will.

02:09 PM PST Brenda(Amazon): Hello, my name is Brenda. I’m here to help you today. Thank you for being a Prime member.

02:09 PM PST Luther M. Siler: HI Brenda.

02:10 PM PST Brenda: I am sorry to hear about the late shipment of your order, I will help you out.

02:11 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Thank you. I’m not trying to be a jerk about this but the event I ordered the books for is the 11th, so I’m getting a bit concerned about it.

02:12 PM PST Brenda: OI understand your concern. Please allow me 2-3 minutes to check this for you.

02:12 PM PST Luther M. Siler: No problem; I’ll be here.

02:17 PM PST Brenda: Thank you for waiting, due to the initial issue, even after changing the payment information. This order is not processed. I see that you have not still been charge for it. I can cancel this order for you and place a new order using the link below and select the Saturday delivery. Please let me know the order number, I will waive off the shipping fee for you as an exception.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0990625397

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1947520016

02:18 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Okay. Question for you: because these are author copies through Kindle Direct Publishing, they are print-on-demand. Can you verify that they’ve been printed? Or is it still possible to get them printed in time to get them shipped here Saturday?

02:19 PM PST Luther M. Siler: I can’t order them through those links because I need to order the author copies.

02:19 PM PST Brenda: I see that the one that you have order are paperback.

02:19 PM PST Luther M. Siler: That is correct. They are print author copies through what used to be CreateSpace until it got rolled into KDP.

02:20 PM PST Brenda: Let me check.

02:23 PM PST Brenda: As this book are order through Kindle direct publishing, A member of the team will need to assist you on this. Please hold while I transfer you.

02:24 PM PST Abdul(Amazon): Hello, my name is Abdul. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.

02:25 PM PST Abdul: Thanks for waiting.

02:25 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Thank you.

02:25 PM PST Abdul: Just to confirm are you referring to Physical books?

02:25 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Yes. I’m trying to order author copies of books that I wrote because I have a convention this weekend and would like to sell them.

02:26 PM PST Abdul: I am sorry, You are wrong department. Let me connect you to a member of our Retail team. It will only take a moment.

02:27 PM PST Amal(Amazon): Hello, my name is Amal. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.

02:27 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Sure.

02:29 PM PST Amal: I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t receive your package by the estimated delivery date.

Could you please share the order number?

02:29 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Just a moment, I need to look it back up.

02:30 PM PST Luther M. Siler: (blah blah blah number)

02:31 PM PST Amal: Thank you for providing the order number.

Do you mind waiting a few moments while I look into this for you?

02:31 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Sure.

02:33 PM PST Amal: Thank you for holding.

I’m very sorry about the delay in sending your order.

While looking into this, I found a problem that was preventing your order from shipping.

This is corrected now, and your order already entered shipping process.

Also, I’d like to get your order to you faster to help make up for the delay, so I’ve upgraded the shipping method . There’s no additional charge for this.

(Luther edit: note this.  “your order already entered shipping process.”  At this point the “Arriving Wednesday” thing disappears immediately from my screen and is replaced by November 9-12.)

02:35 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Okay. When I look at the Your Orders page, it currently says “Arriving Nov. 9- Nov 12.” I absolutely must have these books by Saturday, the 10th. I ordered them for an out of town event on the 11th. Will they be here by Saturday?

02:37 PM PST Amal: Yes, Since I’ve prioritized your issue, this package is expected to be delivered within this Saturday.

02:37 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Should I expect to see a shipping notification tonight, then?

02:38 PM PST Luther M. Siler: (I appreciate your help, by the way. I just want to make sure I’m clear about everything. Thank you.)

02:39 PM PST Amal: Yes, Once the order ship out you will get a confirmation email to your email address.

02:39 PM PST Luther M. Siler: And that should happen tonight?

02:40 PM PST Amal: Yes, the package will ship out within few hours and you will get this notification email.

02:40 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Okay. I will keep an eye out for it.

02:41 PM PST Amal: We really appreciate your patience and understanding in this matter.

Is there anything else I can do for you today?

02:41 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Not at the moment, no.

02:42 PM PST Amal: Please click on the “End chat” button at the upper right corner of this window.

02:42 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Thank you, sir

All good, right?  I’m being polite, they appear to have solved my problem, check back in a few hours.

Note that the times are PST; I’m about three hours ahead of this.

Several hours later, I’ve not received a shipping notification.  I try again.  See if you can pinpoint the precise second I begin to have difficulty maintaining my calm:

Initial Question: I am trying to confirm that order number BLAH BLAH BLAH is going to ship in time to arrive at my home on or by Saturday the 10th. I have been in contact with customer service twice over the last two days about this and the gentleman I spoke with earlier today said to expect a shipping confirmation within a few hours. I have not received that confirmation.

07:01 PM PST madhavi(Amazon): Hello, my name is madhavi. I’m here to help you today.

07:01 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Hi, Madhavi.

07:02 PM PST madhavi: Severe weather caused damage to a sortation center on Friday evening. Deliveries associated with this facility are experiencing delays. 

We apologize for the inconvenience and are working to quickly resolve this issue. 

I’m sorry for the inconvenience you’ve experienced in this case.

07:03 PM PST Luther M. Siler: It’s Thursday.

So, almost a week ago?

07:04 PM PST madhavi: But still please try to understand, but still I can help you in expediting the shipping charges for you,

We certainly did not expect this to happen.Thank you for letting us know.

07:05 PM PST madhavi: I have escalated the issue to concerned depatment

07:05 PM PST Luther M. Siler: The issue isn’t the shipping charges. I placed this order on the 27th. I changed to faster shipping on the 2nd to ensure that the books were here by the 10th. I spoke with someone yesterday who blamed my credit card and someone earlier today who said that the books would ship within a few hours. No one mentioned a shipping center issue from last week.

07:06 PM PST Luther M. Siler: I don’t care about the charges. I am an author ordering author copies of my own book for an event on Sunday. I’m not trying to get a refund. I *need the books.*

The issue has already been escalated twice. 

07:06 PM PST madhavi: I don’t want to make false statements.

07:07 PM PST Luther M. Siler: I spoke with someone named Amal earlier today. Are you able to see the transcript of that conversation?

07:08 PM PST madhavi: yes, Could you please wait for 2 minutes while I look in to this?

07:08 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Yes.

07:09 PM PST madhavi: Thank you for waiting.

07:10 PM PST madhavi: I have made a note to the respective department for you and you will receive the item by tomorrow.

07:11 PM PST madhavi: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

07:12 PM PST Luther M. Siler: I’m not trying to be a jerk, Madhavi, and I know you’re doing your job and this isn’t your fault. But that’s exactly what Amal told me earlier. Did *he* set up the books to be delivered by Saturday like he said he did, or did you just now do it?

I’m not upset with you, but I am upset. This is the 3rd different reason I’ve been given for these books not being here yet.

07:14 PM PST madhavi: I totally understand your frustration, please give me a last chance to correct this, I am trying my best.

07:15 PM PST Luther M. Siler: All right. I will check back in again in the morning. Thank you for your time, I do appreciate it.

07:15 PM PST madhavi: You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

07:15 PM PST Luther M. Siler: Not at the moment, no. Thank you.

07:16 PM PST madhavi: I will do my best to resolve this.

Thank you for contacting Amazon. We hope to see you again. Have a great rest of your day. Please click “End Chat” to close this window.

Okay.

So.

I wake up at 6:15 this morning, check my email, and nothing has changed. Round three! This is the point where it becomes abundantly clear that these motherfuckers have no idea at all what the hell they’re doing.

Initial Question: I placed an order for 28 CreateSpace/KDP Author Copies on the 27th of October. The original arrival date was Nov. 8-12. On the 2nd I switched the shipping to two-day to ensure I’d have them by the 10th which is now tomorrow. The arrival date was projected to be Wednesday the 7th. On the 7th they still had not even shipped. I have talked to multiple customer service reps over the last three days about these books; all have ensured me that they’ve escalated the issue and that I’d receive the books the next day. It is now the 9th and they have not shipped. I *must* have these books by tomorrow because I ordered them for an author expo on the 11th and without them I will not have stock to sell. I need to know if they are printed, why my card still hasn’t been charged, and if I am getting them by tomorrow or not.

03:29 AM PST Nandhini Devi(Amazon): Hello, my name is Nandhini Devi. I’m here to help you today.

03:29 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Hi, Nandhini.

03:30 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I’m so sorry about that.I’ll check and help you with this.

03:33 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I have checked and see that you have been placed multiple quantity for the same items. I see that the items are limited instock of our fulfilment centre. 

We already forwarded this to our supplier team we are waiting to receive more item from the supplier.Once we get mote item from the supplier we will ship and send an update by email.

I see that the order delivery date is November 9, 2018 – Monday, November 12, 2018 .

03:33 AM PST Luther M. Siler: They’re POD CreateSpace books. I’ve made this clear to everyone I’ve talked to.

03:33 AM PST Nandhini Devi: The package will be ship and delivery on or before November 12, 2018 .

03:34 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I ordered them on the *27th*. They have had more than ample time to be printed by now.

03:35 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I do understand. We will ship and delivery the package as we given delivery date.

03:35 AM PST Luther M. Siler: So have the three people who all guaranteed me that they’d be here by Saturday lied to me, then?

03:36 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I’m so sorry the agent was given incorrect details. I’ll escalate this issue to our supervisor. 

They’ll coach the agent.

03:36 AM PST Luther M. Siler: The first one blamed my credit card. The one from last night blamed weather damage at a distribution center. All three said they’d escalate the situation. You’re telling me ALL THREE lied to me?

03:36 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I assure that doesn’t happen again.

I’m so sorry about this.

03:37 AM PST Luther M. Siler: So I’ve paid for a hotel room and for a table at this expo and I’m going to have nothing to sell because Amazon couldn’t get me POD books that I ordered two weeks ago and upped the shipping speed for a week ago.

03:38 AM PST Nandhini Devi: We can able to ship and delivery the package as we promised date.If you prefer please try to buy a one quantity again with one day shipping method.I’ll waive off shipping cost. Other items will be delivered as soon as possible.

03:39 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I can’t do that because I’m buying author copies. Which I ALSO explained to previous customer service reps. 

03:39 AM PST Nandhini Devi: Okay, let me check this for you.

03:41 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Again: I had several days where your website was telling me the books would arrive on Wednesday of this week and they *never shipped*. They appear to never even have been *printed* as far as any of you can tell me.

03:41 AM PST Nandhini Devi: Thanks for waiting.

03:42 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I’ll escalate this issue to our team.They’ll check and take action on this.

The order will be shipped soon.

Once the order ships we will send an update by email.

To make inconvenience, I;ll issue a $5 promotional credit.

03:42 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Is there someone on this team that I can talk to?

03:43 AM PST Luther M. Siler: You’re the third person in a row to tell me they were going to escalate it and nothing has happened.

03:43 AM PST Nandhini Devi: I’m so sorry we don’t have an option to transfer the internal team.We can able to transfer the chat to our supervisor.

03:44 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Please do that.

03:44 AM PST Nandhini Devi: Sure, I can surely transfer this chat to our supervisor, but they will explain you the same thing. Would you still want me to transfer this chat to our supervisor?

03:44 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Yes.

03:44 AM PST Nandhini Devi: Okay.

Please give me a minute.

03:45 AM PST Jason/Supervisor(Amazon): Hello, my name is Jason one of the Supervisor here in Amazon.com. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.

03:48 AM PST Luther M. Siler: You should see multiple conversations with customer service reps over the past three days.

03:48 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: Thanks for the information. Please bear with me.

03:53 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I’m sorry to keep you waiting. It’ll just be a moment longer.

03:54 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: Thanks for waiting and I’m sorry for the hold.

03:55 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I’m sorry to hear that your order is not yet shipped. No worries, I will do my best to help you.

By hte way, thanks for being a Prime member.

03:58 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: As per checking here on our record, I’m afraid that we don’t have a stock yet for this Seller. I’m sorry for the inconvinience this caused you. The best option that we have here is, purchase it again directly to Amazon on the website to get the item. 

03:59 AM PST Luther M. Siler: How is it possible that these books, which I ordered on the 27th, never even got printed?

04:00 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I can reorder them from the regular site, but if I do that, they’ll be much more expensive and then you’ll owe me royalties for them. These are, again, *my* books. I got 28 books for $108 because I’m ordering author copies. It will cost much much more than that if I order them straight from the site.

04:00 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I’m afraid that the Seller don’t have it in stock and I don’t want to speculate when it will be. 

04:01 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Jason, do you actually know what createspace is? 

You keep talking about “the seller” like you guys aren’t the seller.

04:03 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I’m sorry for the confusion. Amazon is like a Mall and we are allowing Sellers or Merchants to Sell their items and the inventory is coming from them. Amazon is the owner. To make things righ here, you may consider on ordering them and will process you a refund for the difference. I’m sorry for the information provided by the previous representatives. 

04:03 AM PST Luther M. Siler: YOU ARE THE SELLER, JASON. AMAZON PRINTS MY BOOKS. PLEASE ESCALATE ME TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW KDP AND CREATESPACE WORKS. THIS IS NOT A THIRD PARTY ISSUE.

04:04 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: We only fulfilled the items Luther, however, the inventory of the items are coming from a Seller. Please do understand.

04:04 AM PST Luther M. Siler: There’s currently not even a one-day option on these books any longer, because you guys have been lying to me for so long. 

04:05 AM PST Luther M. Siler: So “Amazon Digital Services, Inc.” isn’t Amazon? That’s what you’re telling me?

04:06 AM PST Luther M. Siler: You guys BOUGHT CreateSpace. You just folded it in under KDP a couple of months ago. YOU ARE THE SELLER.

04:06 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: If I relate it to myself, I can completely understand how frustrating the situation can be when something like this happens. Please accept our sincere apologies to what happened. The items on this order is sold by “MOD Non-Retail.” The one on the website now is coming from us.

04:07 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: Please place the items on the website and I will process the difference once the item ships out. 

04:11 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I hope we are still connected Luther?

04:12 AM PST Luther M. Siler: We are

Right now I’m at $206.77 for the order and it won’t even let me add one of the books.

04:12 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: May I ask for the name of the book, please?

04:12 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Searching for Malumba. 

04:13 AM PST Luther M. Siler: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0990625370/

I need five copies of that one.

04:13 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I understand. Thanks. Please check this link : https://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0990625370/ref=olp_f_primeEligible?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=&f_new=true&f_primeEligible=true

04:14 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Jason, it’s becoming clearer by the second that you don’t understand the issue here.

I am the author of these books. I wrote them.

04:15 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I know where every single copy Amazon ever sold has gone.

“Endless Quest” does not have any of my books. They are POD through CreateSpace.

04:16 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I ordered these books two weeks ago. You guys never charged my card, guaranteed me arrival on Wednesday, which is now two days ago, never shipped the books, and I’ve had three customer service reps in a row guarantee me escalation and shipping, none of which apparently ever happened.

You’re trying to blame a third-party seller for books that are created and printed THROUGH AMAZON and have no third-party seller.

04:17 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I had someone yesterday blame weather-related damage at a fulfillment center, something no one else has mentioned.

The first person blamed my credit card.

Is there any reason that I shouldn’t take printing of my books to Ingram Spark from here on out? 

04:17 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I’m sorry for the confusion. The original order delivery date is Thursday, November 8, 2018 up until Monday, November 12, 2018. We are only charging you once the order ships out. There is no problem with the card, the only problem here is stocks for the items. 

04:18 AM PST Luther M. Siler: And when I changed shipping on the 2nd, why did that not get the books any faster?

And why was I told on Wednesday that my card was the issue? She had me change the card I was paying with and said that fixed the problem.

04:20 AM PST Luther M. Siler: The person I spoke to last night promised me the books would be here *today*.

I have a transcript of that conversation.

04:20 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: Our Shipping method only starts once the item ships out and not the time the order was placed. And also it depends on the availability of the items. We do have copy here, I’m sorry for the information provided by the previous representative. 

04:22 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: As I can see here, the availability of the items are “Usually ships in 8 days.” I’m afraid that I don’t have the exact information when the stocks will be coming. However, the delivery date provided is still active that you will received it up until Monday.

04:23 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Monday does me no good at all, Jason.

I need to go. I’ve been sitting here for an hour and I need to get my son up and get to work.

04:24 AM PST Luther M. Siler: I am *very* disappointed with Amazon right now. You guys have been lying to me for several days and your reps don’t understand how your own services work.

04:25 AM PST Jason/Supervisor: I understand. I’m sorry about what happened Luther. This is not our intention. My colleague submitted a report to what happened and we are going to make sure this will be prevented. 

04:25 AM PST Luther M. Siler: Eight days from the 27th still gave you plenty of time to get those books shipped. They never even got printed. That is NOT acceptable.

Especially since I escalated the shipping speed.

I need to go. I will be moving future printing of my books to another company.

Thank you.

I spent some time on the KDP forums today and they are full of people who are pissed because Amazon is doing such a shitty job– a noticeably shittier job than the company they just absorbed– getting author copies to authors.  And it is really clear, especially once I started talking with “Jason,” that the customer service people don’t have the vaguest idea what the hell Createspace was or KDP is, and the fucker decided to make shit worse by doubling down on his dumbassery rather than escalating me to someone who knew what the fuck they were talking about.

I’m gonna have to show up for this goddamn expo massively shorted on several of my books.  That really pisses me off.  And then I’m gonna have to move everything over to Ingram Spark, which is going to cost me money, but I can’t have this shit happening again.

Fucking assholes.

God help them if this fucking box isn’t here by Monday, too.

DO NOT WANT

45159312_10213137713219835_3865679477904244736_oI’ve had to have two stern conversations with Amazon in the last 24 hours regarding the books that I ordered for this author event on Sunday.  I ordered them on the 27th– a couple of days later than I probably should have, I admit, but they still had a good chance of being here by this Saturday, and when it became clear that that was becoming a bit more of a risk than I wanted I upgraded the shipping last Friday to two-day, which should have taken care of it.

Then they were supposed to be here Wednesday, and I realized Wednesday night that not only had they not arrived but I hadn’t gotten a shipping notification.  (The damn election knocked the whole thing out of my head; I should have realized this earlier.)  Then last night they told me they would ship and be here tomorrow, and just now they told me that they were going to be here Saturday even though the “upgraded” shipping that they supposedly comped me (after I upgraded myself to two-day) is currently telling me they’ll be here between the 9th and the 12th.

Between this and the fact that they re-upped me for Prime this week without so much as an “Oh, this charge is coming in the next couple of days!” email I am not pleased right now.  And I am going to look pretty damn bad if I show up at this fucking thing with no books to sell.

Grrrr.

CLICK finally exists on Goodreads!

Click ebook coverI finally got off my rather exceptionally lazy butt and created a Goodreads page for CLICK, which you might recall is my most recent novel.  If you’ve read it, and you’re inclined to add it to some bookshelves or (please?  PLEASE?) review it, now you have somewhere to do that!

If you want to read it, there are two ways to get ahold of a copy– the first way is to support me on Patreon at the $2/month tier or higher, which gets you an ebook version, and the second way is to buy it directly from me at a convention or author event.  Have I mentioned where I’ll be next weekend?