TERRIBLE DECISIONS: The Return

we never really finished the first bathroom renovation, so to hell with it, let’s start on the second one. Only we’ve hired professionals to do it this time! And demo starts tomorrow! Let’s take a look at what we’re wrecking:

Bek and I removed the giant mirror that was on the wall in front of the heinous green wallpaper, because that’s going to go into the basement, but I think you can manage to imagine a mirror. That patch of unwallpapered wall next to the medicine cabinet was there when we moved in (did they move the medicine cabinet over a couple feet? Replace it? We’ll never know); the torn patch of wallpaper next to it was me, trying to figure out what was behind it (and deciding it was way too much of a pain in the ass to remove). The holes in the wall were made tonight, just for the hell of it. All of this is gone tomorrow. All of it.

This closet is actually in our bedroom, and it’s not going to be a closet anymore as of tomorrow. We are eating this space to expand the shower …

…because this is the existing shower, and there’s been a leak in it somewhere since we moved in, so it literally hasn’t been used in years. This is going to get much bigger and have a bench, a rainfall shower head and a regular one, and a few other bits of coolness. But the kicker? The thing I’m looking forward to the most about this entire process? My wife let me order this tonight.

Yep. That’s right, motherfuckers: I just spent over a thousand dollars on a bidet. It has a remote control.

My asshole is going to be immaculate.

Start looking forward to the review right now. Because there is going to be a review.

I have to get up early tomorrow so that I’m ready for the construction guys, and I don’t even mind.

Published by

Luther M. Siler

The author of SKYLIGHTS, THE BENEVOLENCE ARCHIVES and several other books.

3 thoughts on “TERRIBLE DECISIONS: The Return

  1. I bought a bidet attachment years ago, and never got around to installing it. At the beginning of the pandemic, I finally installed it. It took 15 minutes to install. I loved it! (WARNING: be careful, if it’s anything like the attachment, your toilet could probably give you a colonic!) I immediately bought one for the teenager’s bathroom. They loved it, too! Last year, I went to visit my dad for a week. I bought him one. Guess his reaction. He went to spend the holidays with my brother and his family. The attachment is not easy to transport, so when I realized that, I bought my brother one for each bathroom. They think I’m weird, but I know how well it will go over. You are going to SO LOVE that toilet!

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