On dopamine

I wrapped up my Let’s Play of Blasphemous today, which is going to run 30 episodes, and since Episodes 10 and 11 just dropped today I’ve got a minute before I have to start the next thing. If you haven’t paid any attention to my videos, the thing you need to know about the game for the purpose of understanding this post is that it’s loaded with collectibles and secret rooms and all sorts of things that my lizard brain covets because I am that type of player. When I beat the game I had a completion percentage in the high nineties but was still missing several clearly unimportant but still not in my damn inventory items, and I spent a good chunk of this afternoon finishing off finding the last handful of things and finding every single spot on the map.

This was, mind you, a lot of stuff, and required not one, not two, but four different “here is where all this stuff is” websites and/or YouTube tutorials to find everything. Most of this, for the record, was not filmed, but was done for my own edification and because I am insane. After all of it my completion percentage was an agonizing 99.81%. Not acceptable! I must have 100%.

So I found another video that purported to show the hardest-to-find spots on the map; mostly out-of-the-way places that don’t scan “HEY LOOK HERE FOR A SECRET” on the map or on the screen and require you to whack a wall or a corner of a wall that you might not have any good reason to go near so that you can open up a single, small room.

After finding two new rooms, the 100% achievement popped for me. Thank God, I thought, thoroughly tired of this by now. I can stop playing and move on to something else for a while.

And then I quit out of the game, then went back to reload my save, because that’s where the most detailed completion percentage is shown for you.

And it was 99.95%. Despite me having gotten the trophy for 100%ing the game.

I have no idea why this might have happened.

And now– only now, after all that– do I feel like perhaps I might have wasted some of my time today.

It’s official

It’s Friday, and in keeping with my usual Friday state of exhaustion I have little to say tonight, but I wanted to mark this moment: the final books necessary to finish the goal of reading books from all 50 states have been ordered. Now all I have to do is read the rest of them. 🙂

Enjoy your evening, y’all.

They happen once in a while

It’s left me a bit worried about tomorrow, honestly— not only did my kids handle both of their two assignments today with aplomb (I think literally every single student turned their assignment in today, which is unheard of) and not only did my meeting with the grandmother of Not In My Class Anymore Kid go quite well, but Not In My Class Anymore Kid really isn’t in my class anymore. I was half-expecting admin to try and reverse the decision but they didn’t. There weren’t even any real discipline issues today! On top of all that, I’ve seen my pay stub for tomorrow, and it’s unexpectedly about twice what it normally is, because not only have they finally started paying me for being the 8th grade team lead again, but I got back pay for it, and half of my money for the TLT team came through unexpectedly.

Am I looking for something to blow some money on? Yes. Yes I am. I paid off a couple of things already and about half of it is going into savings but that still leaves a nice little chunk of change that I can use as mad money.

I’m going to end up blowing it all on roleplaying materials that I’ll never read, won’t I?

Anyway, I’m going to go curl up with a book and hope that I won’t pay for all these good vibes tomorrow.

Nattering on about school discipline

First things first, I suppose; it looks like I’m going to get what I want regarding the student from last Friday being moved out of my class, and without a fight about it, even, although I may owe the school counselor a doughnut and coffee or something. Naturally, now that I’ve gotten what I want, I’m going soft internally on the whole thing, all oh, don’t give up on the kid and give him another chance.

My inner bleeding-heart is going to sit down and shut the fuck up on this one. But he’s rattling on anyway.

We had a meeting this week where we talked about discipline data in our building– specifically the number of ODRs (basically, office write-ups) that we as a staff had been writing, and we’re having another meeting tomorrow morning where we’re going to talk about things we can do that might bring down the number of ODRs being written in our grade level, hopefully without simply saying “write fewer ODRs.” I’m going to temporarily lay aside the question of whether this is the right way to talk about this and note that the data dashboard the administration has access to now is awesome, and I’m going to beg for access to it even though I’m probably not technically supposed to have it, because I am a Data Nerd and this is my jam.

To wit: I discovered this week that, while I can’t see office referrals written by other teachers (which is fine,) I can see how many times each of my students has been written up, along with the dates of the referrals. And I got curious about a few things and did some digging.

My 3rd and 4th hour class, surprising no one, has the largest number of total referrals at 139. To be clear, this number comes from adding each student’s total referrals together, so it’s across all of the teachers and classes for each of the students. My 1st and 2nd hour is my second-highest, with just under 100, and my 5th and 6th has the least. I haven’t done anything yet like divide it up on a per-student basis to control for class size, but that’s coming, believe me. Because, again, I’m that guy.

There have been 58 days of school so far.

I also looked at how many referrals I, personally, have written for each class. 3rd and 4th hour has 35– which is interesting, because that’s nearly exactly 25% of the class total, which is exactly what you would expect given that they each are in my room for 25% of their day. I have written 5 referrals for 1st and 2nd hour and 5 for 5th and 6th, which are much smaller percentages of their total– I think I’ve written about 10% of the total referrals for 5/6 and closer to 5% for 1/2. Interestingly, the two most-written-up kids in 1st and 2nd hour have never been a problem in my room, possibly because they either aren’t awake enough or their ADHD medication hasn’t had time to wear off. I was surprised to see how many referrals they had, to be honest.

I am resisting the urge to draw any conclusions about this, because there’s no good way to distinguish between “this teacher manages his classroom well and does not need to do referrals” and “this teacher gets run over and isn’t tough enough to hold the kids to account for it.” I think if I discovered I was doing more write-ups for any of my three groups than other teachers I might be concerned about that– and I think the office might do well to see if any of their teachers are being seriously overrepresented in writing ODRs– but that’s not the case.


To circle back around, this isn’t the best metric to get at what we actually want to talk about. The problem with using ODRs, suspensions, or anything like that as a metric for building discipline is that, as I said above, it’s impossible to distinguish between a well-run school or a well-run classroom with one where the inmates are running the asylum and the staff or administration have either 1) checked out completely or 2) simply been told you cannot write anyone else up. Sure, that’ll bring your numbers down, but the problem isn’t actually that we want to write fewer referrals or have fewer suspensions. The problem is we want the kids to stop misbehaving. The two things overlap, of course, but one shouldn’t be mistaken for the other, and creating a building culture where the kids are invested in class and in learning and want to be there and aren’t simply at school because their parents need babysitters is a hell of a lot more difficult than simply reducing the number of times a certain form gets filled out.

(I’m going to suggest increased use of buddy rooms tomorrow, for example. This doesn’t do a single thing to help any particular student behave in class, it just gives them somewhere where they can either 1) cool down or 2) irritate some other teacher who then actually does the referral, and it at least increases the chance that a kid can avoid the office. Buddy rooms can be helpful, because there are kids who can benefit from 15-20 minutes to get their heads straight, and Lord knows a fifteen-minute break from some specific kid’s bullshit can help me get my head on straight– but it doesn’t really much help kids learn how to improve their behavior or keep them more invested in school.)

I’m so tired of this shit

And the cycle continues.

Republicans are elected.

They destroy and loot everything they can find.

Eventually voters get tired of it and elect some Democrats.

The Democrats can’t fix every single thing the Republicans broke in two years.

The voters get mad and elect Republicans again. Who destroy and loot everything they can find.

Ad nauseam.

And believe me, I’m fucking nauseous right now.

Two quick things

One, my run of Blasphemous starts today on the channel. I’ve been having a lot of fun with this and just recorded Episode 20, so jump in now so you can watch from the beginning, especially if you’re one of the dwindling number of religious studies folks who follow me:

Second, it is good to know that Twitter is willing to stand up against people bullying Kyle fucking Rittenhouse, who is not, for the record, tagged or even mentioned by name in this post:

I assume this is a “delete the Tweet and we’ll forget all about this” type of situation; we’ll see how long it takes me to miss Twitter enough to do it.

Monthly Reads: October 2021

The Book of the Month is going to be Cristina Henríquez’ The Book of Unknown Americans, with Denise Giardina’s The Unquiet Earth and Dorothy Allison’s Bastard out of Carolina in close competition.