Tella-ma-vision: what I’m watching

On By Luther M. SilerIn Television

soexcitedandicanthisde(Because I’m very sure that you all care about this a whole lot.)

I am currently watching the following television shows.  By “currently” I mean either actually “currently” as in they’re on the air, or they’re about to start and I plan to watch them.

DRAMAS

The Walking Dead.  Currently, for my money, the best show on TV, based mostly on an amazingly strong fourth season.  Sadly, because of the way I watch TV (we don’t have cable, so everything is through iTunes or Hulu) I am always a day behind and watching this on Monday– which means I can’t liveTweet the show and have to avoid the interwebs every Sunday night.

Gotham.  Same deal as far as the “always a day late” thing– that’s true for every show I watch, in fact– but I livetweeted this show last night anyway.  I kind of hate it, but in a way that’s going to keep me watching it for at least a few more episodes.  The fact that I almost typed “issues” there means something.

Sons of Anarchy.  I came into this late last season– my wife finally pulled me into it– and as soon as this season is over I’m going to binge-watch every episode that has ever been released.  I love it.

Agents of SHIELD.  I kind of hate this show too.  That said the Absorbing Man arc that has started the season has been kind of interesting.  I want this to be better than it is, and it’s a Whedon show, sort of, but I don’t cry if I get a couple of weeks behind.

American Horror Story.  The most fucked-up show on television, in the history of television, EVER.  Also a show that I tend to ignore for weeks on end and then binge-watch.

Sleepy Hollow.  Note that I am drawing a distinction between “fucked-up” and “batshit insane,” and while AHS is the most fucked-up show on television, Sleepy Hollow is obviously the most batshit insane.  I had no idea at all when this show launched that it would be any good, and this is the only show I watch for the characters and the acting more than the story.  Okay, Sons is close, but god, I could watch the characters on this show do anything, and everyone always seems to be having a hell of a lot of fun.

Orange is the New Black.  I’m not even sure this show counts because of the weird, Netflixy way it gets released.  Eh.

COMEDIES

New Girl, The Mindy Project, Blackish.  Why are these all in their own category when the dramas each got their own section?  Because in some ways they are the exact same show, and yes, I know I just called Blackish and New Girl the same show, and that doesn’t initially make sense.  Here’s why:  they alternate wildly, sometimes within the same scene, between being hilariously funny and so painful and awkward that I want to gouge out my own eyes.  New Girl is especially bad about this, and Zooey Deschanel frequently makes me want to commit hate-suicide, but I could watch Schmidt and Winston forever.

Archer.  Not currently actually on the air, but it’ll be back eventually.  Best animated program EVER.  True fact: we kept the first season DVD on loop while my wife was in labor.  The nurses had no idea what to do with us.

Big Bang Theory.  I hate this show also.  But I still watch it.

GORDON RAMSAY SHOWS

All of them.  Because I am fucked in the head.  Yes, even Hotel Hell, the one that makes sure he’s in his underwear or butt-ass naked for at least one scene in every single episode.  I watch every single one of his goddamn shows, even the ones (coughhellskitchen) that really suck.

THESE SHOWS HAVEN’T STARTED YET

Flash.  I think technically this aired… last night?  Which would mean that the first night I could watch it would be tonight.  I’ve never really been a big fan of the Flash but the trailers and commercials have been decent. (EDIT: just watched the pilot. Loved it. LOVED it. And I am not generally a big Flash guy.)

Constantine.  Same deal, except without the “last night” part.  The five-minute trailer sucked me in.  I have really high hopes for this show.  We’ll see what happens.

I MIGHT WATCH THIS IF I HAD ANY WAY TO

Star Wars: Rebels.

I BOUGHT SEASON TWO LIKE FOUR MONTHS AGO AND I’LL GET TO IT EVENTUALLY

Orphan Black.  Which is weird, because this is a great show, starring Tatiana Maslany, who is one of the awesomest actors ever.  They should create a new acting award just for Tatiana Maslany– call it, maybe, the Tatiana Maslany Award for Being Tatiana Maslany, and award it to Tatiana Maslany every year.  And yet, we still haven’t watched Season Two.

I WON’T WATCH THIS IF YOU PAY ME

Mulaney.  I hated Seinfeld and near as I can tell I hate this vaguely embarrassing pale imitation even more.

WHERE THE HELL IS GAME OF THRONES?  

I don’t watch Game of Thrones.  I watch occasional episodes when I know something big is going to happen, but that’s it.

…

Damn.  I watch way too much television.

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15 thoughts on “Tella-ma-vision: what I’m watching”

  3. pjsandchocolate's avatar pjsandchocolate

    I have to binge Sleepy Hollow. I get pissed waiting week after week for the next tidbit.

    Sherlock Holmes is good. To be fair, there’s only three seasons so far and each season is only three episodes about 90 minutes longish, but it is a fucking riot.

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  4. Doctor Who, Once Upon A Time (Yes it’s just as bad as it seems, but it makes my inner child scream every time they bring in a new fairytale – I make no excuses), Archer, American Horror Story (DEFINITELY the most f-ed up show on tv), Hemlock Grove (the most f-ed up show on Netflix) and as soon as I dig into the 3rd SOIAF book, a binge-session of Game of Thrones will commence. I think we all watch too much TV.

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  6. I swear to myself I will not take on another television show and…along comes Gotham. 5 more days until The Walking Dead. Final season of SOA so I can’t miss that and AHS is back and sicker than ever.

    That’s it…no more! I swear!

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  7. I love Sleepy Hollow, Walking Dead, and GOT. Watched The Strain, but wore out on it.

    I’m a big Dr. Who fan, and started watching Selfie because of the main star. It’s funny, but may not have staying power. It also has the actor from the new Star Trek movies who’s also a corpse on Sleepy Hollow. It’s also up against The Flash.

    Flash was good, but it feels miscast to me. Happy to see the original TV Flash staring as Barry’s dad.

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  8. Sometimes, I catch myself watching Sons of Anarchy now and picturing a mash-up where the MC took Oswald Cobblepot from Gotham under their wing rather than Chucky.

    And I’m lucky if I’m only a day late with the shows I watch!

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  9. On network we’re watching:
    Gotham: We really liked the pilot and are waiting to see how the rest pans out. Could go either way.
    Agents of Shield: Yes a lot of last season was bad but a lot was awesome. This season has potential. Plus, Coulson. And FitzSimmons. And Melinda May…
    Grimm: We only started watching because it’s filmed in our ‘hood, and were surprised by how much we liked it. It had a fantastic season finale last spring, with 3 or 4 storylines hanging out there dying to be resolved, and set up this season beautifully.
    Elementary: a much better show than its slick BBC counterpart. Lucy Liu wins everything.
    Castle: I’ve given it up but my husband is still watching. I can’t bear the romantic storyline, so when they decided to drag it out with that turkey of a season finale last year, even Javy and Kevin couldn’t save it for me.

    Television by other means:
    Doctor Who: I am a die-hard fan, and I love the show even when it’s bad – kind of like the New York Mets when I was a kid. This season is a challenging one and I hope Moffat can pull it off.

    Coming in 2015:
    Orphan Black S3: I binge-watched 1 & 2 and I want more.
    Broadchurch S2: I try not to cyber-stalk David Tennant, but my brother said it was good so we watched. BOY WAS HE RIGHT. I have no idea what they’ll do for S2 but I want more Ellie Miller. And Eve Myles is going to be in it!
    Sherlock S4: It’s an increasingly offensive show, but so very pretty, and with so many inside jokes for the true nerds, we just can’t help ourselves.

    Far too much TV, and I know there’s so much more we’re missing. Still, only so many hours in a lifetime…

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  11. I feel the exact same way about The Big Bang Theory. I’m like, “Why am I watching this crap? Penny is a drunk slut and there are contradictions everywhere and poor Raj and why is everything about sex? Where’s the next season? Gimme it.” It’s crazy. I also feel the same way about Tatiana Maslany. What an acting angel. I watched the first season of Orphan Black in like, four days, but also have yet to get my hands on the second season. I’m way into New Girl but couldn’t get into The Mindy Project. Maybe I only need one of that kind of jazz in my life.

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