- Read an article on the Internet about something that you don’t care about. Like, for example, the fact that Lifetime has cast someone to play Aaliyah in their upcoming biopic about Aaliyah, and that that choice is controversial because the actress in question isn’t “black enough” or something like that. Note that it is critical that you don’t care enough about Aaliyah to know what she looks like.
- Look at the picture of the actress they chose at the top of the page and determine that she manages to look like a black woman as far as you can tell.
- Google “Aaliyah,” because you don’t know what Aaliyah looks like. Blink a couple of times at sheer disbelief at the nonsense people can get mad about. Spend several minutes comparing pictures and thinking Jesus, this chick looks just like Aaliyah, what the hell are these people complaining about?
- After several– several— minutes, decide that maybe the picture of the actress is just the most Aaliyah-ish picture of her they found– maybe already in hair and makeup for the movie?– and Google the actress’ actual name, Zendaya Coleman.
Sooner or later, I need to stop procrastinating and actually do some goddamn work.