Actual conversation with my son

…who, remember, isn’t yet three.

SETTING:  The boy has just gotten up, and I’m getting him changed and dressed.

HIM:  Daddy, are you a teacher?

ME:  Yes.

HIM:  Why?

ME:  I have no idea.

HIM:  But you’re a teacher?

ME:  Yes.

(Several minutes pass; various early-morning toddler things happen.  I ponder the chain of events leading up to that question; I have never said the words “Daddy is a teacher” to my son, and I’m not sure he knows what the word means.  He decides he wants a chocolate graham cracker for breakfast, a request which is denied until other, more appropriately breakfasty foods are eaten.)

HIM:  Chocolate graham cracker!

ME:  No.

HIM:  But I want chocolate graham cracker!

ME:  No.  You can have a chocolate graham cracker once you eat some cereal or a squeeze pack.

HIM:  But I want chocolate graham cracker!

ME:  Kenny, do you remember asking me if I was a teacher a few minutes ago?

HIM:  Yes.

ME:  This means that I am used to disappointing children who want things, and that I don’t care even a little bit when I do it anymore.

(He contemplates this for a moment.)

HIM:  …I want raisins.

Exeunt.


Discover more from Welcome to infinitefreetime dot com

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

7 thoughts on “Actual conversation with my son

  1. ROTFLOL! As a teacher who also doesn’t know why I am I can totally relate. People looked puzzled when I say I don’t like kids, but your last comment and the fact I chose to teach Math prove my point. 👍👍

    Like

Leave a reply to hilarycustancegreen Cancel reply