I haven’t mentioned it in this space yet, but I have a ukulele.  I can’t actually play it. It’s not quite accurate to say that I have no musical talent– I can look at a piece of music and passably hum a reasonable approximation of what it should sound like, but without being able to name any of the actual notes and it’ll probably be off-key.  The last time I actually played an instrument was in sixth grade, I think, and other than being able to belt out the Indiana University fight song on my trombone at the drop of a hat I was neither terribly interested or very good.

I have a ukulele because I find the sound of the thing pleasant and it was inexpensive to buy.  The uke’s so easy that you can literally pick the thing up and, assuming it’s tuned properly (oh: I can tune my ukulele) you can just strum it and come up with something that sounds at least a little bit like real music even if you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. I can do that.  At various points I have made noises about how I really ought to take a lesson or two and learn how to actually play this stupid little thing, but in the same sense that people say they ought to skydive sometime.  (Which I also ought to do.)

Also: my birthday is tomorrow.

Yesterday my wife walked into the living room, handed me an envelope, and said “Happy Birthday!”

A gift certificate for four private ukulele lessons.  With, presumably, some sort of actual musician.

Well, shit.

Part of me is really looking forward to this and the rest of me is looking forward to the blog post I’ll write with my nose and tongue once my instructor cuts my fingers off to keep me from coming near an instrument ever again.  Apparently their uke guy is heading out of town in August to go to some fancy-schmancy music school somewhere (please god don’t let him be a high school student) and so I have to get all of my lessons in in July and the early part of August– fine with me, as I know I won’t have the time or inclination for it once school starts.

So y’all have that to look forward to now.