I was gonna blog

Instead I’m gonna collapse into bed and try not to die.

It was kinda a long day.

In which I count down the days

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 3.16.04 PM.png…because next Thursday this puppy here shows up in my house, adjustable foundation and all, and I am so fucking excited, guys.  After ten years of our current mattress, it’s starting to sport some serious hills and valleys– it wasn’t at the point where it was awful yet, but it could certainly use a refresh, and it turns out that one of the little silver linings to having spent half the year unemployed was I was overpaying my taxes for the other half, so our tax refund was pretty healthy this year.  So: new mattress!  And then my wife was all “Hmmm, do we want an ergo foundation?” and I was all like hell yeah we want an ergo foundation, I wasn’t even gonna mention that, and now we’ve got one.

Or at least we will, once it gets delivered.  Which is happening next Thursday.  Only six days from now.  And then I will spend 24 hours without getting out of bed because this bed is that comfy.


My roommate from Denver has still not returned to work, which I find vaguely horrifying.  We’ll see if he’s in tomorrow.  That means that whatever he picked up out there knocked him on his ass for a solid week, in a job where there are no sick days and if you aren’t there you aren’t making any money.  I’m more than a little surprised I’m not worse off; this implies that whatever was wrong with him, it wasn’t related to the altitude, and I’m generally weak to anything even vaguely contagious.

In other news, and speaking of counting down the days, Missy can get around to releasing that new album any damn time now:

A brief rant

ingredients-of-an-all-natural-egg1I apparently have yet to regain my jovial equanimity.

A request for the world’s dumb people and woo addicts:  If you have ever complained upon finding out that a “chemical”  (ooooh, SCARY!!!) that is part of one thing that you eat is also part of another thing that you do not eat, and said discovery caused you to consider no longer eating the first thing, or especially if you complained to others about the presence of the chemical in the edible thing… well, telling you to kill yourself is probably a little extreme and I’m not quite that far gone today but suggesting that you begin practicing the fine art of shutting the fuck up would be good, and perhaps also I should tell you some incredibly terrible things about oxygen that would totally ruin your day.  And hydrogen, which is in both water, which you need to survive, and gasoline, which you should never drink obviously is perfectly potable since water is.

Here’s a definition of “chemical substance,” you nimrods.  You don’t get to use that word again where I can hear or see you until you understand why complaining about things having “chemicals” in them is dead goddamn stupid.

Okay?  Good.

And because apparently I have decided to be in a bad mood today, I’m off to find a politician who has done something stupid.  Gimme five minutes.