I would typically expect to be Sundaying pretty hard at the end of Spring Break, but that’s not what’s happening. I’m not stressed at all. That said, I’ve had one hell of a time figuring out what the hell I’m going to do with my students this week, and more specifically what I’m going to do with them tomorrow, and I finally settled on a super basic, 20-question paper assignment with a mix of stuff from the last quarter on it. I’m titling the assignment “I Hope You Remember Math.” They’re all going to be lethargic and asleep tomorrow anyway so I think trying to start anything new (and the next unit is probability) is probably going to work against me. Then Tuesday through Friday on the basic principles of probability, skip the test, and two weeks of ILEARN review? Sure. Why not.
And after that … well, I chose the image up there for a reason. Right now I don’t even know what classroom I’m supposed to be in tomorrow (I was supposed to be back in my original room, but the weekly staff bulletin says otherwise, but the weekly staff bulletin also shows significant signs of having been copy-pasted from the last weekly staff bulletin) and that makes it really hard to plan. So tomorrow is going to have to be the last gimme day for a while, but that’s fine. It’s all fine. It’ll all be fine.
Unless the world blows up or something, but I’m gonna try not to worry about that too much.
I passed my Math test, officially, with exactly the same score I had “unofficially” on July 1st. Delayed fully 40 days for no Goddamn reason at all. Remember, kids, ETS is the devil.
That’s all I’ve got for today, as we have family in town and we will have more family in town tomorrow. Must sleep.
Woke up this morning with my head swimming, and while I’m not unused to occasional dizziness first thing in the morning, holy shit— this, with no other symptoms, knocked me flat on my ass for almost the entire day, and I took a four hour nap this afternoon. That didn’t really leave a lot of time for much else; I’ve been reading a book that I’m not enjoying very much, and I’m trying to decide whether I dislike it enough to review it after I finish it or if I should just put it down and not worry about it. Advice, to future writers: you are not allowed to introduce time travel as a plot element with only a hundred pages left in your book. Don’t do that. Please.
Tomorrow I go back to studying in the mornings, after taking a couple of weeks off– my test is July 1st, and I am bound and determined to pass this damned thing on the first try. I have one more practice test handy, so I’ll start going through my last remaining study guide tomorrow, and take that test Wednesday, maybe, and then use the last couple of days to make sure of things like “I know how to use the calculator” and “my computer will run the software without a hitch.” I have no reason to leave the house next week other than a handful of tasks to take care of on Wednesday, so I have plenty of time to get myself ready. I popped into my classroom for a few minutes last week, and told my boss that I was about to take the test, and she didn’t say “Oh, that class isn’t happening,” which I’m hoping means that there’s still at least a good chance.
I dunno, that’s what I’ve got. How was your Sunday?
ETS, the company behind these fucking Praxis tests, is one of the worst organizations in the history of the entire fucking planet, and by “organizations” I’m including the Nazis, the KKK, the Republicans, and whatever flavor of Communism might be most on your nerves at the moment. I hate these people to a degree I’m not entirely able to explain, at least not without the FBI taking a closer look at me.
I passed another practice test today, by a larger margin than the first one, and decided, fuck it, I’m going to go ahead and schedule this thing. The last time I looked I was able to schedule an exam the next day, so you can imagine my surprise when I logged in and discovered that I can’t get in before July 1 any longer. Which … fuck. This blog is already turning into the All Math Test All The Time website, and now I have to wait three more weeks? I’m ready now, motherfuckers. Let’s do this.
And then I went through their list of “requirements,” and …
… look, God damn it, I need these fucking testing companies to understand that their shit is not that fucking important. The fucking NSA doesn’t protect their shit as carefully as standardized testing companies do. They won’t let me have scratch paper for a fucking math test. I have to use a fucking whiteboard, which can be “erased in front of the proctor,” because … what? I might share questions with somebody? So the fucking hell what? Every test is fucking different, and you sell practice tests, you stupid dicks. Which is the actual reason, by the way, because extorting $120 out of me for the fucking test isn’t enough; they need more money from anyone who wants to study for these fucking things, like the blood-sucking rent-seeking fucking parasite scumbag shitstained vermin they are.
Make sure any other devices in my home that use the internet aren’t running?
Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not even going to try to do this. Avoid wearing jewelry? Fucking why? And what’s “dressed appropriately” mean? Are people seeking teaching licenses likely to have their dicks or tits out while testing, so likely that they need a rule about it?
Elsewhere, I am told that I am expected to be able to show the proctor “all four walls” in the room I am in, presumably because any wall they can’t see is obviously covered with posters explaining how to do the questions on the test. My webcam is part of the fucking computer, though, and I’m not sure how the fuck they expect me to point the Goddamn monitor at the wall behind it.
(Also, remember: approximately zero percent of teaching involves blind recall of facts in the complete absence of resource materials. If I forget anything I’m supposed to be teaching, I can literally look it up right in front of the fucking kids if I want to. These things should be entirely open notes; what I have memorized is completely irrelevant.)
I can’t get WordPress to load from my desktop for some reason, but it’s working for my phone, so … yeah. God forbid I not post something.
(Site loads on computer)
I’m gonna take another practice test tomorrow. If I had gotten everything right that I either already knew or feel like I nailed down today, I’d have gotten a 55/66, which is a clean and easy pass. The other 11 are calculus problems and hopefully guessing will get me two or three of them. If I do well tomorrow, I’m definitely taking this for real next week.
It took over three hours to write my two practice tests– seven and eight questions– tonight, because my computer is a sonofabitch. Tomorrow is the last day of prep and their finals are Thursday.
Y’all, I spent all day teaching math. I know, it’s my job; this shouldn’t be surprising, but really: I spent all day today teaching math. To 8th graders. And a handful of 7th graders, but mostly to 8th graders.
And you’re telling me, that after spending the whole day doing that, I have to go back tomorrow and teach Math again? To the same damn kids? Don’t they know math yet? How the hell could they possibly need more math after all the mathing they did today? This is a scam, I tell you. A scam!
Anyway, righteous indignation aside, I’ve managed to get myself planned for tomorrow, and partially for the day after that, in a sort of “give them something they’ll have fun with so I can mostly ignore them” kind of way, since I have a ton of administrative deadlines for various things this week and frankly am going to need some time to work at my desk. Y’know, like a regular person, who doesn’t have seven hours of presentations as part of their job every damn day.
The good news? I’ve said repeatedly that I’m having a great year, and we just got results for our first test of the year back, and … damn. My kids cooked the other 8th grade classes, y’all, not only in overall average but in growth too, and it’s tough to hit both. I haven’t looked at NWEA results yet, because COVID knocked that off my radar and ultimately their results on the first test don’t matter all that much anyway– it just sets a baseline for the winter and spring administrations, and frankly (and cynically) it makes me look better if they don’t do great on the first test anyway, right?
God, it’s nice to come home from work and not have hours of complaining to do.
This was a long, long, LONG week, as we finished up state testing. I have no idea how I’m going to get through the rest of what we’re supposed to cover in either of my classes; I feel like testing ate up six damn weeks. I came home and fell asleep on the couch, and I am looking forward to not moving a whole hell of a lot for the next couple of days.
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