Okay I can do this

Starting to get just a liiiiiittle jumpy about tomorrow, y’all. While scheduling the surgery for 2:30 is good for me in terms of coming home and going to bed, it’s less good for keeping myself Not Nutty between now and it actually happening. I’m gonna wake up at four in the morning and spend the rest of the day imagining pew pew lasers blowing my eyes out of the back of my head, I swear.

Be aware that I will probably write a post today to pop tomorrow sometime so that I don’t have to do it before the laserating. I’m not supposed to look at screens or read anything in between the surgery and the doctor’s follow-up the next day, and I’m fairly certain I can’t write a blog post without doing either of those two things. So once I’m home from my follow-up on Tuesday y’all can hear all about how it went.

I’m sure you’re looking forward to it.

In which this is happening

Before I get into this: it is definitely darker in here. Turns out the reason is obvious; the corner of the room is gonna be darker than the middle. So I need a touch more light in here, one way or another.

I made an appointment yesterday; I’m having LASIK surgery on July 13th.

Am I fucking terrified? Why, yes, why would you ask? That said, intellectually I’m pretty certain it’s going to be fine; everyone who has told me they had the procedure has had either no regrets at all or, at the worst, some complaints about floaters and night driving. I expect that in ten to fifteen years I’ll probably be back in reading glasses and that’s okay so long as I can do things like see in the shower in the meantime; I dropped the soap today (shut up) and it took me a ridiculous amount of time to find it again because I was blind as a fucking bat. That sort of thing happens all the time but now that I’m scheduled to have something done about it I resent the hell out of it.

I did find one site dedicated to The Evils Of LASIK that was absolutely screaming This Was Written by Conspiracy Theorists; I don’t know if that’s a web theme or what but even the layout of the page was loudly hollering that I should disregard everything they had to say.

It’ll be fine. I expect an epic blog post out of it, but it’ll be fine.

In other news, I’ve been writing all morning, but not on a story– I’ve been putting together a D&D session for my wife and son this weekend. It’s a basic dungeon crawl that I’m basically tossing in as an add-on to a session from their Essentials kit; I’m thinking about posting it to Patreon when I’m done if that’s something you might be interested in. We’ll see how the session goes.

2:49 PM, Friday June 26: 2,444,483 confirmed cases and about to set the third “most cases in a single day” record in three days, and 124,732 Americans dead.

In which I’m in the hospital again

TotalHipReplacement_-_Before__AfterDo not panic!  It’s not for me this time!  Honestly, though, I’d rather it was, as my last couple of ER visits were for not especially big deals as hospital visits go.  My mother is having her hip replaced, converting her even further to a cybernetic organism, because she already has a replacement knee, artificial corneas, and I think maybe something in her lower back as well.  I have to admit; if it weren’t for the years of pain that led to each of the surgeries, I’d almost be jealous.  I wanna be a robot too!

Then again, all I really have to do is wait.  I have indisputably inherited my mother’s knees; I stood up yesterday from my recliner and the crumpling-paper noise from both of my knees was so loud that my wife heard it.  It didn’t really hurt, precisely, but the holy shit what was that reaction was so horrifying I almost wish it was pain.

What will be painful: they’ve got CNN on in this damn waiting room, and they keep going back to that poor kid getting her ass beat by that cop in South Carolina the other day.  Having to watch/hear the footage is rage-inducing enough; I swear to God if I have to listen to some fucking Hoosier conversation about it I’m gonna go to jail today, and it’s good that we’re already at the hospital.

Mom’s gonna be fine, by the way, but good vibes are appreciated anyway.  More later.

EDIT:  She’s out of surgery already, which is ridiculous.  The doc said she had a lot of arthritis in that hip but everything went fine.  She’s in recovery now and we’ll get to see her in a couple of hours.  There’s still the standard post-surgical suite of potential complications to worry about but the surgery itself went as well as it possibly could have.

A thing that I would really like

is for my wife to have both of her feet operational.  Yes, I know that she wants her feet operational more than I do.  But holy shit.


In which titles are for clever people

katt-williams-meme-generator-everythang-everythang-35a9d9My wife had minor foot surgery today– the highlight was the expression of pure glee on the face of the doctor, clearly a madman, when he informed us “We’re gonna have to rebreak it.  With a saw!”– and as a result I’m basically responsible for everything around here for the next god-who-knows-can-somebody-cast-me-some-cure-light-wounds-up-in-here-please.

It’s gonna cut into writing time for a bit, is what I’m saying.