I’ve been doing this thing over on BlueSky all month, and while, okay, there’s technically one more day left in Pride, I already know what I’m going to post for tomorrow. Since the last day of the month is reliably preprogrammed and I’m still feeling sickish, I figured I’d take all thirty posts (so you can get a sneak peek for tomorrow, if you’ve been paying attention) and put the books here for posterity. I’ve read all but two of these, and I may have one of them finished by the end of the month anyway. The 30th is on its way here. Check ’em out:
I swear to you that I did not read these two books back-to-back as part of any sort of June/Pride Month … thing, but once I realized what I had done I decided that the Mark Oshiro book on my shelf had to be next, and I’ve got a book about the Stonewall uprising that is probably going to get moved up in the queue. At any rate, let’s talk.
TJ Klune has written three books for adults so far, with a fourth coming out in July, and I’ve read all three of them. My piece about his debut novel, The House in the Cerulean Sea, is, somewhat inexplicably, the most popular post I’ve written in the last several years, although I don’t know if people are reading it and enjoying it or reading it and calling me an idiot somewhere I can’t find, because I can never figure out what the source of all the traffic is. The House in the Cerulean Sea was very nearly my favorite book of the year, and while I didn’t enjoy his second novel as much as the first, Under the Whispering Door was still an Honorable Mention for the year it came out.
I liked In the Lives of Puppets a lot, but it still doesn’t quite hit the heights of Cerulean Sea. I am starting to see themes across Klune’s books; he loves fantastical, magical settings where the main character is somewhat of an outsider to the culture or at least the immediate environs of the book, and there is always a strong element of found family and a delightfully understated, shy queer relationship that develops over the course of the books. His stories are predictable but they are the comfortable sort of predictable; I don’t really want to use the word “cozy,” but fuck it, the shoe fits and he’s putting it on. The conceit in this book is not an orphanage for magical children or the waiting room for the dead but instead the literal last boy on Earth and his friends, all of whom are robots and one of whom is a literal Roomba named Rambo. I love Rambo. You will love Rambo. The characters in this book are the best thing about it; Rambo and the medical bot named Nurse Ratched (which is actually an acronym, and I’m not spoiling it) are just wonderful characters. Rambo can be in every book I read from now on. I love him.
Klune’s next project is a four-book fantasy series; Book One is out in July and Book Two is in August, so I’m wondering if all four are already written and they’re planning on pushing them all out that fast or what, but it will be interesting to see what he does in a setting that will need to be more robust in its worldbuilding than what I’ve seen from him so far. At any rate, this is a strong recommend.
I picked up Rasheed Newson’s My Government Means to Kill Me almost at a whim off of a table at Barnes and Noble, and it sat on my Unread Shelf for longer than it ought to have, because it was really fucking good. It reads like a memoir, and there were points while reading it where I genuinely forgot that the whole thing was fictional and the author was not actually the person he was writing about in the book. And he’s not doing something cute and thinly fictionalizing his own life, either; the main character of the book is a young (late teens; the book takes place over a few years) gay Black man living in New York during the early part of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, and while Newson is Black, male, and gay, he’s also 43, which is much too young for the book to be based on his own experiences.
For what it’s worth, I’m 46, and I remember when AIDS was simultaneously treated as a “gay disease” and generally horrifying, as no one really knew how it was spread. I remember watching the 1990 Golden Girls episode where they thought Rose might have gotten AIDS, and Sophia marking all of her coffee cups. I remember Ryan White, who lived in Kokomo, Indiana, only about an hour and a half south of me.
Being gay and in New York during the height of the epidemic is, uh, a rather different experience than being a white straight kid in Indiana, of course (and, entertainingly, the main character is from Indiana, although he is estranged from his family and really seems to think of Indianapolis as a leper colony, which … well, is maybe slightly overstating things.
I should toss in a content warning; Trey is essentially feral for the first half of the book or so, which features an extended look at New York’s gay bathhouse culture, and really doesn’t hold anything back. It’s more clinical than provocative; Newson isn’t trying to write erotica, but there’s lots and lots and lots of anonymous gay sex, although nearly all of it is consensual and the few nonconsensual things that happen do not rise to the level of rape scenes. Trey’s roommate is essentially a whore for wealthy white men and Trey himself works a series of menial jobs.
Then, right around the halfway point, Trey starts working in an unlicensed AIDS hospice– which was not a thing I knew existed prior to reading this– and the book morphs into a history of the earliest days of the gay rights movement. There’s an interesting historical undercurrent to the entire thing, as just about any time any real person or place is mentioned it gets a footnote explaining context and providing some additional detail, and I was pleased to discover that Bayard Rustin was an important secondary character. Trey ends up getting involved with the earliest days of ACT-UP, and gets beaten up by the cops at a protest– if you scroll down on that Wikipedia link to “Wall Street”, it’s that one– and the FBI makes an attempt to turn him into an informant.
This one, I think, is going to end up on my 10 Best list at the end of the year. Know what you’re getting into- if you’re squeamish about sex in books, you’re gonna have a bad time with parts of it– but it’s absolutely a worthy read, both as a piece of fiction and a piece of often neglected American history. I look forward to Newson’s next project.
June first seems as appropriate a date as I’ll find to replace the Pride flag in front of the house with Pride II: The Repridening. The old one’s brown stripe had turned orange and the pink stripe had disappeared, and it had started to fray around the edges, and I figure if the thing is literally called a Pride flag I probably ought to care about its appearance. So: new flag! Yay!
Today was the third of the four Last Days of School, this one being the one where now all the kids have gone away. Tomorrow is a teacher record day, and if I’m at school past noon something has gone terribly wrong. Then I’m going to take a couple of days and do nothing but try to beat Returnal. After that, it’s time to start heavy-duty planning for next year and reteaching myself All of Mathematics.
I think I’m going to have to start doing stations next year, guys.
I have been thinking about two things lately: how to handle transitioning back into a two-class-period block, meaning I will have half as many students (good) but will have each of them for twice as long (which I have mixed feelings about.). My kids were already wildly behind, and over a year of quarantine has NOT helped. I got a look at this year’s ILEARN results for my kids, and while I’m going to spare you any sort of standardized testing rant right now, they weren’t good. They weren’t good at all. And regardless of how I feel about this particular method of assessing my kids, the simple fact is that there is no method of assessing my kids that doesn’t lead inescapably to the conclusion that they’re well behind other kids their age.
So I’m thinking right now that the way I’m going to handle my two class periods is that that first class period is going to be nothing but remediation. That’s going to look very different for different kids. Some of my kids are still struggling with basic operations; I have a handful who couldn’t multiply their way out of a paper bag. Others may just need extra time with 7th grade standards. There may even be some I can push past the 8th grade curriculum, although that won’t be many. The second class period is still going to be 8th grade standards, and I’ve still got thinking to do about how to do that given the things I learned this year, but that first period is going to be the focus of most of my attention.
The problem, of course, is that the kids are all over the place in terms of what they can do, and if I’m going to do this right I’m going to need to be pitching differently to all 70 or so of them. There are ways I am very good at differentiation and ways I am not good at it, and one thing I have never been able to manage properly is a room where 32 kids may be working on 8 different things. There are teachers who can do this beautifully; I am not one of them. This will have to change. (Frankly, given the emphasis that NBCT puts on differentiation, it had to anyway, so it’s useful that that’s dovetailing with something I need to do instructionally anyway.) So first I need to figure out what I’m going to do, and the next step is to figure out how to do it– and the how, of course, is very much the tougher part. And I’ve got to figure all that out. I need to hit the ground running next year to a degree that I never have before, and I need to run the year perfectly.
It’s gonna be a fun summer. But it’s going to have to wait until next week to start.
Around a year ago, give or take, Instagram suggested I follow what was clearly a secondary account for one of my friends. It was a new account, with one picture on it, and in that picture my friend was wearing eyeshadow. My friend was not the type of person for whom randomly choosing to be photographed in eyeshadow was a terribly surprising thing, so I thought nothing of it and followed the account, then forgot all about it.
A few days later my friend’s wife texted me and asked if I had any questions about her — and this is the point where I can’t come up with a coherent way to not choose gendered words, so for the moment I’ll go with “husband,” because at the time that was the word I would have used– making the decision to transition.(*) Apparently that account wasn’t really meant for full public attention yet. Whoops! I laughed and said that I’d found it in suggestions and followed it and not thought about it for another single second and then went on to have the type of conversation that you typically have when an adult makes a decision like that.
My son is seven. He and their youngest son are just a couple of weeks apart in age, and have been best friends for more or less forever despite them having moved a couple hours away a few years ago. They regularly communicate via the Facebook Kids Messenger app and play Roblox together. My son is aware that his friend now has two moms, and has literally never asked a single question about it or displayed the slightest bit of confusion about it.
The other day I was sitting in my recliner while he was on the couch talking to his friend, and the iPad is loud, so it’s kind of hard to not overhear their conversations and I try to keep half an ear on him while he’s on the thing anyway just because, y’know, parenting. And I hear his friend tell him that he has decided to change genders and be a girl, and that he wants to use feminine pronouns now, and be known by a different name. And, well, I went from paying halfassed attention to listening carefully quick.
And … my son says “Okay,” and immediately starts arguing with her about whether “dude” is a gender-neutral term or not, and whether “dudette” is something that he should be using now, because that’s where his priorities lie, and went right back to playing Roblox.
Now, has he been great about not deadnaming his friend? No, he hasn’t– he’s pretty much sticking with “dude” most of the time, and I’ve definitely heard far more uses of the original name than the new one over the last couple of weeks. And there was a brief discussion between the two of them later about whether his friend could really be a girl or not, because girls can have babies and boys can’t. This led to the only parental intervention I’ve had to make in this entire process, where after they were done with the conversation I pulled him aside and explained the difference between gender and sex, to which he reacted by absorbing the information and shrugging and saying “Oh, okay.”
We were over at my parents’ house earlier this week and their family came up in conversation. My mom was aware of the parental transition but not the kid’s, and after a few minutes called my son into the room and asked him what he thought about it.
“Oh. Yeah, he changed genders. He’s a girl now.”
And that was the end of it. He was done talking.
So … okay, not great on pronouns, but he’s seven. It was as if his friend had changed favorite colors or something. In my son’s head, it’s no big deal.
This is the second time in a few weeks that my son has encountered the concept that people exist who are other than cis and straight, and just like the first time, he just rolled with it. And it’s not because either my (cis, straight) self or my wife’s (cis, straight) self are some sort of woke paragons of allyship. We aren’t. I’m pretty sure we’ve literally never had a direct discussion about sexual orientation with him. It’s because this isn’t actually all that complicated to explain to kids and because if kids see their parents treat something as normal they will too.
Some kids have two dads.
Some kids have two moms.
Sometimes men love men, and sometimes women love women, just like Mommy and Daddy love each other.
Sometimes people decide that they aren’t boys or girls anymore, and sometimes people decide that they’ve always been a boy or a girl and that it’s okay to let the world know that too.
“How do we explain this to our children?” is a cop-out, and it always has been. It’s just not that goddamn complicated. You just treat it like it is: normal.
Happy Pride Month, y’all.
(*) If at any point in this post I fuck up my phrasing, call me out on it and I’ll fix it.