Tag: fuck this

Christ and fuck ENOUGH

On By Luther M. SilerIn Teaching6 Comments

So remember last week, where two days in a row I had “man, today was a long week” posts?

I wrote up eight kids today– at least one in each class except for first and fifth hour, including four in sixth hour, and let’s be real, the only reason I didn’t write anyone up in fifth is because my chief shithead had gotten suspended earlier in the day– and in between fourth and fifth hour I broke up a literal fucking stampede of probably a hundred adolescent assholes by shouting “Get your asses back to class” so loudly that I think I damaged a vocal cord.

I wonder if that counts as a workplace injury?

It was not a good day, and if tomorrow is remotely as shitty as today was, there is a very real chance that I’m not showing up for work on Friday. I have four more days of teaching between now and Fall Break. Unfortunately, I also have twelve hours of parent/teacher conferences between now and then, during which, in accordance with prophecy, I will see none of the unconcerned, uninvolved, negligent-ass, ignorant-ass, broke-ass useless parents of my shitheads, and only parents of kids who I have good things to say about.

I literally told one of my APs today that we could drastically improve the building if we just expelled about twenty of them on the spot. Their parents think we’re babysitters. You know what babysitters can do? Quit.

Fuck teaching. I’m going to go write some fucking postcards.

EDIT: What the fucking fuck, WordPress?

I mean, okay, I put “assholes” in the tags, but still, are you fucking kidding??

Maybe time to get the ol’ meds checked

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy1 Comment

I have been in an absolute boiled-shit bad mood all day, and I am tired of virtually everything. In particular, I have never been more tired of the NFL in my life than I am right now; I have generally been content to ignore professional football and the legion of drunken cosplaying dweebs that follow it, but for some reason their fucking opinions keep making their way into my sight recently, and everything they think about everything is dumb.

I absolutely hate the fact that I have to have an opinion about Taylor Swift’s boyfriends again, and I’m especially peeved that this time I’m on her side. Fuck all of this; I’m exhausted.

And while I’m irritated at groups of people I’m generally content to ignore, everyone in their twenties and thirties needs to shut the fuck up about, like, everything. All of your opinions are wrong and most of them are wrong and dumb and you believe in your wrong and dumb things with your entire chests and I’m fucking exhausted over here. Off my fucking lawn, all of you, and by “my fucking lawn” I mean “planet Earth.” Even when your opinions are right you are invariably wrong about what to do about those right opinions and I just can’t any more. I’m losing my shit over here.

I swear to Christ that if I have a rage-stroke and die before the shitgibbon does I will find a way to haunt everyone, forever. Don’t test me, Goddammit.

The end.

On the continuing contraction of my social media

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, life4 Comments

My Facebook and Instagram accounts have been closed for some time now, and while I occasionally miss Instagram a little bit, I find I haven’t missed Facebook at all, and I think at this point it’s probably fair to say that I’m not going to be reactivating that account ever again. And I find myself looking around at the rest of my accounts and trying to figure out what could go next.

I gotta be honest; I’m starting to think about losing Twitter and TikTok. I’ve pretty much stopped posting on TikTok; maybe a video a week at most, and the site mostly exists as a time sink for me now. I could, I suppose, completely rework how I use it– the good thing about TikTok is the way the site celebrates enthusiasm of all kinds, so if I went through and made sure I was just following the woodworking and bookmaking and cooking and BookTok and other maker types of accounts, I could probably keep it up for longer, but right now it’s not really doing anything for me other than giving me something to stare at, and the way the site’s moderation works even without any regular posting it’s only a matter of time before they decide to ban me for no fucking reason at all.

And Twitter … man, I’m really split on Twitter. On the one hand, it’s my main source of news, and one of the really big ways I discover new books nowadays. On the other hand, it’s my main source of news, and the news is constantly horrible all the time and evil has won. I have a number of people I interact with over there who I really like, but they’re all parasocial relationships with people who probably wouldn’t actually miss me much if I disappeared from the site and a fair number of them show up here or on YouTube anyway. (YouTube is not currently in danger, for the record.)

But … God, I need to get the despair under control lately, and I really am starting to think that Twitter is an overall drag on my mental health. But it has some utility to me beyond just being a time sink, and for that reason I’m not nearly as likely to decide to get rid of it. I just need to find a way to get the horror aspects of the site under control, as it’s become perfectly clear lately that I am never going to be able to block my way out of the bullshit. My blocklist is in the mid-five-figures right now and there’s still just an endless torrent of bullshit every single day. Just today alone I found out that Joyce Carol Oates, Letitia Wright, and Tim Burton were massive assholes, and, like, I don’t need this shit.

(Also up for debate: is Twitter what’s causing a decline in my mental health, or is it the state of the fucking world, and it’s just Twitter taking the brunt of that? Or both? There’s no reason it can’t be both.)

(Like, it’s not Twitter’s fault that the Republicans are literally going to tank the world economy less than a month after I decided to take retirement investments seriously. But Twitter is how I’m hearing about all this shit so it’s taking the blame.)

I dunno. I’m not doing anything anytime soon, but I’m starting to think about it in a more serious fashion than I have in the past.

In which I give up already

On By Luther M. SilerIn life3 Comments

It’s January 3rd, Goddammit, and everything about 2020 is already bullshit, from Castro dropping out, to Australia being on fire, to the shitgibbon starting a war with Iran, to the Ongoing Medical Calamity suddenly accelerating to the point where the phrase “eleven thousand dollars a month, paid in advance” was said in my presence by someone who wasn’t kidding, to, oh, because of course, runaway stomach flu today and yesterday.

Fuck this. I’m alive, dammit, but I’m not fucking happy about it.

RECAP: 2019 in photos

On By Luther M. SilerIn life2 Comments

Oh what fresh hell is this

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy9 Comments

qwertee_whatever_1519078342-fullEvery time WordPress decides we need a new editor I spend some time wanting to murder things.  I’m not sure who exactly was clamoring for being able to start blog posts with drop caps, but what the hell, I’ll check them out.   Only everything is “blocks” now, and I seem to have somehow lost the ability to insert an “image” “block” into a “text” “block,” so I don’t really see how this shit helps me any.  I mean, hey, drop caps, though.

I’ve had nothing going on for the last couple of days.  I spent all day reading today, after finally finishing The Monster Baru Cormorant last night.  Which I still will need to reread at some point in the future.

Still can’t figure out how to put a picture into a block of text.  I mean, I can set wrap options on the picture, but I can’t move it.  Does that make sense?  No.  No it does not.

I can do a drop cap on every paragraph, though.

(It’s at this point where I realize that the new editor, which is going to “level up my layout,” really doesn’t seem to have an option to do images inline with text, lose all will to live, and switch back to the old editor.  Just once, just once, motherfuckers, I’d like you to roll out a new feature that works when you roll it out.  I don’t have the patience for incompetent dumbfuckery right now.  I just don’t.)

(Also, I want to point out that when I switched back to the “classic” editor, the one that, to me, is still not up to snuff with the editor before it, it got rid of one of those drop caps for no clear reason, but kept the other.  Fuuuuuck this.)

Oh god damn it

On By Luther M. SilerIn Work5 Comments

hand-holding-i-give-up-signSo.

I have made $2500 in commission on my sales this year.  This year.  Six weeks.  I did the math; I’m selling furniture for less than $11 an hour.  The company is currently earning interest on sixty thousand dollars of undelivered product.  I don’t get paid until shit ends up in people’s homes and everything I’ve sold is either still backordered or waiting for someone’s house to be ready.  Right now I expect to make minimum wage this week.  If I wasn’t married to someone who makes a lot more money than me, I’d be staring down homelessness right now.

I had a $12,000 ticket last weekend that didn’t earn me a single dime and won’t pay off until May.  That big $18,000 sale at the very end of December?  Scheduled to deliver on March 20th, still five weeks away; I don’t see a cent until then.

I was at work for nine hours today and sold $13 worth of product.  A co-worker came in on his day off and made $3300 in sales in less than half an hour.

Fuck this.  I could literally be making more money flipping burgers.

I just applied for a teaching position.

God fucking help me.

Fuck chemistry

On By Luther M. SilerIn life2 Comments

nerve-cell-pulseIt’s been a Lexapro weekend.  As in I probably ought to be back on it.  This weekend (well, “weekend”) has been an utter shitshow; I’ve alternated useless-and-exhausted with unfocused, pointless rage for much of he last two days.  I just now managed to put away about two weeks worth of clothes and other than feeding the dog today that counts as the one thing I’ve managed to do that was good for anybody other than me.  And it only barely counts because I know my wife is tired of looking at my laundry in the bedroom all the time.

The house is a fucking mess.  It’d be nice if I was either a grown-up or on the right brain meds and could make myself do something about it.  Hell, it’d be nice if I knew which fucking one was the problem.

Don’t bother with sympathy, I’m not much in the mood for it.  Just let me rant.