DENVER: WHERE THE AIR GIVES YOU DIARRHEA is not the greatest tourism slogan.
Always wanted to be Patient Zero of an epidemic. Let’s get on a plane!
Sitting very near to me is a pile of paper, about an inch high, that I will need to absorb to some as-yet unclear degree in order to pass an examination on Friday. The test is going to take two fucking hours, and right now I have not the slightest idea what they think is going to take that long. I am and always have been a fast test-taker, so I expect this to take no more than twenty minutes. In theory, I ought to be studying at the moment.
I’m going to save it for tomorrow. I haven’t had a good old-fashioned cramming session in a few years. We’ll see if I’m still any good at it.
A shocking admission: despite my exhaustion, this has been a worthwhile trip, and there is nothing happening tomorrow that makes me think it’s likely that I’ll change my mind. As a lifelong educator the notion that professional development and/or training might not be personally insulting, much less actually useful, is almost unprecedented. Meeting with vendors is great. Granted, they’re all salesmen too and thus hucksters to some degree or another, but I’m actually learning shit.
Oh, and there’s HGTV on the hotel room TV, so you know how I’m really spending my evenings, right?
Also, people who live nearby are posting on Facebook that the local weather services are muttering about a foot of snow on Friday. If the world suddenly ends you know why. Good luck, thanks for all the fish, and all that.
Jesus, I thought doing cons led to long days. I’m dead exhausted right now. The good news is that the company is not wasting their money or my time, and we are being well fed. I have no real complaints other than I’m not at home and not asleep.
Also, Denver is very flat, which surprised me, and seems to consist entirely of warehouses and factories. It may be that I’m in the wrong part of town but there are a lot of goddamn warehouses and factories. We’re pretty much confined to the hotel at all times so there’s been no real opportunity to sightsee and that’s unlikely to change.
“Why are there no pictures of the mountains, Luther?” you might be thinking. Well, it’s because so far the only time I’ve seen them has been while I’ve been in a van with ten other people and that does not lead to prime photography opportunities.
Well, la-di-fuckin’-da, Denver. I’m not even convinced you exist yet. On the plus side I’m apparently already The Guy Who Brought Painkillers, so everyone is coming to me for help since the air here isn’t fit for humans to breathe.
Dinner had better be delicious. I have been up since 5 am and it’s 7:48 my body’s time. I require something heavily potato- and beef-based, dammit.