Got in touch with the HR department at my district today to ask a question about procedures for self-quarantine and was not quite literally greeted with this, but it was closer than you probably think:

I would not be surprised at all if we were told not to return to work next week, and if it takes longer than one more week for the cancellation to happen I will be stunned. Of course, by then, I’ll almost certainly have COVID-19 anyway, as every bacterium and virus to come within six feet of me since August has made me sick, but at least I won’t be the only one at home.