I feel like a GIS for “Nope Turkey” ought to produce some decent results, particularly on Thanksgiving, but I have been thwarted, and it does not.  Instead, I have a picture of an innocuous casserole dish.  A very specific, innocuous casserole dish.  And I’m not going to tell any of you why.  

It’s just going to sit there.

Where some of you can stare at it.

Because reasons.

You know who you are.

Dinner was at the in-laws’ tonight, as First Thanksgiving was at my mom and dad’s when my brother and new sister-in-law were in last weekend.  I had a revelation partway through the meal; there’s absolutely nothing that keeps me from learning the recipe for my mother-in-law’s corn and bacon casserole and making it whenever the hell I want.  It’s not like there’s a law that says I can only have it on two days a year.

Well, two days a year and at least one more day following each of those two days.  Unless I eat all of it tonight, which is a distinct possibility, as I keep casting eyes toward the kitchen as I’m typing this.  Thanksgiving was five hours ago, after all.

At some point this week I have to make it over to my parents’ place for some persimmon pudding, speaking of things I actually can’t have whenever I want, since persimmons are, like, never actually in season.

<record scratch>

Wait.

Maybe that’s a lie too.  If I can have corn and bacon casserole whenever I want… does that mean that I can have persimmon pudding whenever I want, too?

God.

That would change the entire universe if it were true.   I’m not sure I’m prepared.

What do you eat two days a year that you could have anytime, if you were actually free to do so?  Answer me, while I go have more mashed potatoes.