#REVIEW: THE RISING, by Ian Tregillis

51RRWWIEqCL._SX335_BO1,204,203,200_.jpgThe Rising is the second book in Ian Tregillis’ The Alchemy Wars series.  I read the first book, The Mechanical, last year, and it was my favorite book of the year.  So you can probably imagine I was pretty excited to get my hands on this one.  Unfortunately for me, it arrived when I was hip-deep in something else and so my wife got to it first and I had to wait a while.

Light spoilers throughout, larger spoilers for the first book in the series; needless to say the end result will be “You should read both.”

Here’s the premise of the series:  sometime in the … seventeenth century?  Whenever Christiaan Huygens was alive; I can never remember– the Dutch invented Clakkers, mechanical clockwork servitors that they basically used to take over the world.  This series is set in the 1920s or so, but it doesn’t really matter all that much because the Clakkers have so radically reshaped human history; the feel of the book is very eighteenth-century, except with these incredible enslaved things walking around.  In The Rising, a servitor named Jax gained free will (Clakkers are bound by a system of rules called geasa that control their behavior, and have to obey human instructions at all times) and the book bounced back and forth between the Netherlands and the French/Catholic state-in-exile in the New World.  As far as I can tell, the Dutch and what’s left of France are the two major global powers, and France has spent the entire series on the ropes.

Part of what made The Mechanical so fascinating was that the book genuinely had interesting things to say about what free will was; at one point a French spy is captured and they manage, more or less, to turn him into a biological Clakker and release him back into the wild to cause all sorts of hell, only he’s still in there and, as a human being and a former priest, isn’t so wild on missions like “strangle the Pope.”  The scenes where his free will is removed are fascinating, and when it nearly happens to another character you’re genuinely scared for her.  Unfortunately, the weaknesses of The Rising are squarely where the first book is so strong; Fr. Visser is backgrounded for the vast majority of the story (although the few scenes he gets are spectacular) and you don’t really ever get that fear for the main characters that was so pervasive in The Rising.  There’s also little to be said about free will here; the philosophical conversations of the first book are entirely absent.

What it’s replaced with is more action, which is not really something that I can complain about, because it’s spectacularly written.  The French capital of Marseilles-in-the-West is under siege by a Clakker army for effectively the entire running time of the book, and Tregillis writes some of the best large-scale battle scenes I’ve ever seen.  Also a pleasure is the expansion of French commander Hugo Longchamp’s role in the book; Longchamp has one of the filthiest mouths I’ve ever seen in a novel before, and you guys know I love few things more than I love inventively-used profanity.  Jax, surprisingly, isn’t in the book as much as I’d thought, and spends most of his page time either alone or around new characters.  His entire arc is effectively a big spoiler so I won’t talk about it much other than to say interesting things happen and I can’t wait to see what happens with Book Three.

So: As good as The Mechanical?  No.  This is on my shortlist, but it’s January, and it’s not going to be my favorite book of 2016.   But “Not as good as the best book I read last year” is not a complaint, especially for the second book in a trilogy, and especially when that second book sets up Book 3 in such a way that I was clawing for a time machine once I was done reading.  If you haven’t read this series yet, you owe it to yourself.  Go.  Now.  If you’ve read The Mechanical, I’m confident that you’ve already read The Rising and don’t really need my orders about it.  But go read it anyway.

#Weekendcoffeeshare: Blood Pressure edition

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If we were having coffee, I’d for damn sure be having tea or juice this time.  I had a day earlier this week where I was so tired and half-dead that I made a pot of coffee at 11 AM– a full two hours after I’m usually done with coffee for the day– and drank the entire thing myself.  You may recall a recent coffee chat we had where I showed you my new Walking Dead mug.  One of the things I’ve done a lot of this weekend is home improvement tasks; I hung a new mirror in the bathroom yesterday and we went to my parents’ today and tore out the old toilet and installed a new one.  My wife and I were greeted with those two monstrosities above.  The coffee cup on the right is a reasonable person’s coffee cup.  I can fit two full Walking Dead cups into each of those ridiculous bastards.  They aren’t for coffee.  That’s, like, a pot each.  They have to be for, like, soup or something.

I wouldn’t have a whole lot to talk about, actually; a not-infrequent theme of these posts and the natural consequence of writing about my nonsense life every single day on the blog anyway.  I somehow still have not sold an ebook in January, and that issue might come up, because it’s starting to get to me.  I did sell one book in print, and I picked up a really nice review of Searching for Malumba today (check the previous post) but I have sold a total of three ebooks on Amazon in the last month, a drought of nearly-unprecedented nature.  Please, for the love of God, if you ever read ebooks and have $5 to spare, check something out.  My confidence is starting to take a hit here.  🙂

Let’s see.  Writing on Sunlight has gone well, although I’ve officially reached the part in the outline where it just goes ??? DRAMA ACTION SCARY STUFF MYSTERY ??? MAYBE A HAMSTER ??? and part of me feels like I’m closer to the end than I really want to be.  I wrote 1100 words of something today, unrelated to anything else I’ve done, that popped into my head whole and complete while I was taking a shower and came with such intensity that I rushed through shaving my head so that I didn’t lose anything and ended up cutting the shit out of my scalp.

You would have noticed the Band-Aid already, and so that part might actually come up first.  But seriously: I wrote 1100 words of fiction during the time it took my wife to take a shower.  If you know anything about my process, you know how ridiculously, insanely fast that is.  I don’t know what this thing is yet; I mean, it’s a short story, but I sort of feel like it’s a proof-of-concept for something bigger.  You’ll probably hear more about it later.

Maybe I’ll get called for a job interview this week.  That would be nice.

How’re you?

REBLOG: Why teaching is terrible…

Hilary Custance Green just published a great review of SEARCHING FOR MALUMBA over at her place.  Here’s a quick excerpt, and check out the rest of it at her site.

Each entry comes hot, often scorchingly so, off the keyboard and varies from hilarious to heart-breaking. You read this with your mouth hanging open in shock about where these kids are coming from and what kind of homes they go back to. You also read it with sympathetic fury at the authorities wilful misunderstanding about testing, teacher pay and worst of all the nature of children themselves. In contrast, you also read with delight and outright laughter about children and teacher’s successes and gaffes.

Source: Why teaching is terrible…

On judgmental bastardry and little kids

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ALTERNATE TITLE 1: Why I Need to Have a Daughter
ALTERNATE TITLE 2: Why Everyone should be Glad I Don’t Have a Daughter
ALTERNATE TITLE 3: Why Liberals are Dumbasses and Don’t Run Anything

The boy’s at a birthday party right now.  I’m not at the party, but my wife is; as someone who has run dozens of parties over the years for young kids where the adults way outnumbered the kids, I long for the days when it was okay to just drop your child off at a birthday party and then just go away for a couple of hours, but that’s not how society– or at least the parts of it I move in– works any longer.  I wouldn’t have objected to going, for the record, but I had some stuff to do around here and she volunteered.  So she’s there and I’m here.

The party’s for one of the girls in his class at Hogwarts.  I had been meaning all week to email her parents and ask for some details about what she might want for her birthday, and finally remembered to do it yesterday.  Mom responded pretty promptly.  The first sentence of the email was “Oh, she’s all girl.”

Oh.

I would kinda have liked some more specificity than that, but whatever; basically it meant go to the Pink Aisle and close your eyes and pick something.(*)  My wife and I went through this fun and stupid rigamarole in the Pink Aisle last night where neither of us really wanted to get her something froofy and glittery and princessy but that’s basically all there is; I suggested a couple of different (mostly pink and purple!) age-appropriate Lego sets when my son came running over with a Barbie doll dressed as a superhero.

Just under $20, Barbie, and the boy literally picked it out.  Fine.  Done.

The mental subcurrent of all this, of course, is that while I don’t especially like the idea of plastering kids with this is for boys and this is for girls, it ain’t like my own son isn’t into superheroes.  Of course, so is his daddy, and I suspect if I had a daughter she’d be just as able to tell you about the Hulk and Iron Man as he is, but I don’t have a daughter, now, do I, so who knows how much reinforcing of The Patriarchy I’d be doing as a parent compared to how much I’m already doing, and who the fuck am I to try and subtly condition somebody else’s kid by trying to find a toy for her that isn’t ridiculously gendered when I have never not once suggested my own son go into the Pink Aisle when he was hunting for toys for himself.

(Did you know there are girl Nerf toys?  I did not know this.)

So, yeah, whatever, we got the kid a Barbie doll, and somehow I managed to turn buying a gift for a five-year-old who I think I can pick out of a lineup, maybe, into some sort of political act, because that’s exactly the sort of stupid wanker I am sometimes.  And then my wife texted me from the party while I was busy hanging a mirror at home (let’s not let the gendered nature of that little detail escape us, either) to inform me that this party had blue ribbon water and pink ribbon water and she’d just heard one of the boys loudly insist that he needed the “boy water.”  This was, thankfully, not my son.

So.  Yeah.

That happened.

We shoulda gotten the kid a soccer ball.

(*) And I should make this explicit, too– Mom was trying to be helpful, and her point was “Don’t stress yourself out too much about a present.”  She explicitly said that her daughter would be perfectly happy just to have all of her friends there.  This post is about I’m an idiot sometimes, not Jeez, look at how these people I barely know are raising their kid, just to make perfectly certain we understand each other.

So far

Today has featured an auto repair shop declining work on a car because it would be too expensive and complicated, damn near falling asleep while driving my kid to school (unrelated to the car work! I swear!) because apparently none of last night’s sleep took, lost toddler shoes, verbose teacherly apologies, an entire pot of coffee, a couple of hours of resultant heart palpitations, beta reading, utter ridiculousness on Twitter, preparations for a toddler (not mine) birthday party, taquitos, and somehow dragging the beaten and lifeless carcass of the Sunlight manuscript across the 40,000 word mark.

Guess which part was my favorite.

I am exhausted.  I’d be happy that it’s the weekend, but 1) this weekend is going to be busy as hell, and 2) I’m unemployed at the moment so it’s not like weekends are any different from any other day.

In other words, have a couple of music videos, because I am done for the day.

On outerwear

Screen Shot 2016-01-14 at 9.40.35 AM.pngI have recently found myself in need of a new winter coat.  I was not aware of how particular I was on what constituted a “winter coat” until going through this process just now.  Complicating things: I need a new winter coat because, as someone who has spent most of the last several months sitting on my ass and/or battling depression, I am probably as fat as I have ever been in my life– fat enough that I am legitimately frightened to get on my scale and find out how bad it is.

So not only do I need a new coat, I need what is euphemistically called a “Big and Tall” coat.  I’ll say the same thing here that I say whenever I have to use that phrase: I have never seen a tall guy in the local fat man store.  Only motherfuckers who make me look skinny.  As someone who is currently most comfortable in XXXL shirts and 38″x29″ pants, I am one of the smallest people in that place.

My current winter coats (I have two; a nice leather coat that falls down a bit in the “warm” department and what I refer to as my Beast Coat) fit fine with a T-shirt underneath them, but they’re winter wear.  They’re supposed to be worn over layers.  If I’m wearing more than a T-shirt, my range of motion gets really constricted in the leather coat (which is cut like a sport coat) and the Beast Coat gets difficult to zip.

The Beast Coat is the type of coat where if you don’t need to be zipping it up, you probably ought not to have it on.  You may recall that the last few years have featured Polar Vortices and -50° temperatures.  Yesterday was the first subzero day of the year, but there will be more.

I actually ended up ordering my coat– that’s it, up there, although mine’s black– from Amazon, which may or may not have been a wise decision but will keep me from having to leave the house.  I learned some things along the way.  Here are some important facts about winter coats that you should know:

  • There is no such thing as a “winter jacket.”  Jackets are worn during fall and spring.  If you can describe something as a “winter jacket,” it’s not really winter.  I don’t care if it’s January and the northern hemisphere.  It ain’t winter.  The jury is still out on the phrase “heavy-duty jacket;” I picture such a garment as something to be worn on a shit-ass driving rainstorm sort of day, but not when it’s thirty below.
  • Again, winter clothing is supposed to be worn layered.  So an XXL winter coat needs to be a winter coat that fits an XXL torso wearing an XXL t-shirt and probably an XXL hoodie or sweater, too.  In other words, they should wear big compared to what’s written on the label.  A winter coat should be able to zip and/or button (preferably both) over several layers of clothing, at least one of those layers being thick on its own.  I see reviews complaining that things are wearing larger than their size claims. Yes, Texas, they are.  They’re supposed to.
  • Reviews of winter clothing of all types should be required by law to include where the silly sumbitch doing the review lives.  The garment above claims to be “Arctic Quilt Lined” and many of the reviewers mentioned being sweaty when they took it off.  I see this as a good sign.  But if I’m buying a winter coat I want to see reviews from motherfuckers in North Dakota or Minnesota or Chicago.  I want people who know cold reviewing these things.  If you live in California I give no shits about your opinion of winterwear and I should be able to filter your nonsense out.
  • Per BunKaryudo in the comments: I also want a section for what the reviewer does for a living.  Do you work outside?  I wanna know your opinion about winter coats.  If you just need to wear the thing to get from your car to your office, hell, I can make that trip in a hoodie and be OK.
  • This is more of a specific gripe about that coat, but winter coats should have hoods.  That one actually does, but it’s a snap-on and a separate purchase.  I don’t mind so much because Carhartt’s shit is basically indestructible and I’ll get more than my money’s worth out of the thing even with the extra expense.  But it should have been included.   No one who needs something that is “Arctic Quilt Lined” doesn’t need a hood.
  • If you are asking questions like “Is it okay to wear XXX type of pants with this coat” you need to go lie down or something.  If you are actually in need of a winter coat you are not worrying about how you look in it.  You are worrying about not dying because we are in God Doesn’t Love You season.  The lady seriously wanted to know if it was okay to wear jeans with the coat.  Shut up, California.
  • Temperature ratings are really nice.  I suspect if I looked closely into it I’d find that the methodology generating them was sloppy, but “this coat is supposed to be good for thirty degrees colder than this coat” is still useful information if I’m shopping online and can’t touch the thing.  More sites should do that.

After all that, of course, the coat’s going to show up on Saturday and I’m not going to like it and want to send it back.  Nonetheless.  You have the rules now.  You may begin doing things correctly at any time.

LTR WTF LOL

0b6622fce10fd4eb2d2d03ed66c87c74.400x254x1.pngI’m not convinced this is actually a terribly important or interesting insight for anybody other than me, but it’s been on my mind for the last couple of days and I wanted to get it written down before it slipped away.

My son is four.  He’s in preschool now– real preschool, which means that I can’t just go get him if I’m home and bored in the afternoon any longer, which hit me the other day while I was heading to the car to do just that.  There are, I don’t know, eleven or twelve other kids in his class, something like that.

He has four friends.  Now, at his age, “friendship” is obviously a really fungible concept, but there are two kids from his previous day care who are still showing up at our house (and vice versa) every once in a while and there are two kids in his preschool class who he seems to be part of a mutual admiration society with more so than the rest of the kids.  That’s not to say that he doesn’t play with the others, of course, but these kids clearly are getting more attention than the others.  And, interestingly, they give me more attention than the others, too.  I’ve been dropping the boy off lately, and generally walk with him to his classroom, and one of the kids has been insisting that he also gets a hug before I can leave.  The other one seems to be more of a priority during the after-school program despite being in his class, but she too insists on me paying attention to her a lot of the time before I am allowed to take her (him!  Him! Christ, I’m only getting my own kid.) home– either that or he’ll drag me over to her to have her tell me something about their day.

1433504206201518479.jpgWhat’s gotten into my head is that he’s at least in theory at the point where he might know some of these kids for a very, very long time.  Now, I’m not friends any longer with anyone who I knew as far back as nursery school, but I was through college or so, and my oldest friends now are people I met in middle school or late elementary.  But part of the deal at Hogwarts is keeping their clan together– I get the feeling that a lot of the kids that eventually transition out of there are graduating, meaning that they’ve been with mostly the same kids for a bunch of years.  So it’s possible that he’ll be forming lifelong friendships earlier than I did, especially if we’re able to afford to keep him at this school. I have– most people do, I imagine– my own relationships with the parents of some of my friends who I’ve known for a really long time.  And it’s interesting that we’ve gotten to the point with him where I can look around at the kids he knows and go “Which ones am I going to have to buy high school graduation cards for?”

In, like, 2030 or whatever.

Nah.  No way I live that long.  Never mind.

#Fridayfictioneers: Memories

PHOTO PROMPT © Amy Reese
PHOTO PROMPT © Amy Reese

“It was right here, I’m telling you.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this, we’re gonna get in trouble–”

“Shut up,” she said tenderly, and drew him in for a kiss.  “The school closed two decades ago.  Nobody’s watching.  We had a way bigger chance of getting caught the first time.”

“The first time the punishment wouldn’t have been jail,” he said.  “Or, like, our kids finding out.”

“They’ll think it’s cool,” she said.  “I remember you talking me into this last time.  Now c’mere.  Remind me why it worked.”

They embraced, the leaves skittering on the stairs the only sound.

Word Count: 100


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly blog hop hosted by Rochelle. She posts a photo prompt then challenges readers to write a 100 word story inspired by the prompt. It’s a fun challenge. Give it a try! Check here for the info then write your story and post it, link up and enjoy the other stories!