A thing that just happened

On March 28, 2014March 28, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Parenting4 Comments

Actual conversation I just had with my son. Context: I am picking him up from day care, and my wife is already in the car, which is not usually the case.

DAD: Guess who’s in the car?

BOY: Toys!

DAD: Toys are a what. Guess who is in the car?

BOY: Snacks!

DAD: Snacks are also a what. People are whos. Guess who is in the car?

BOY: Thinks. Stuff!

Dad gives up. Exeunt.

A thing that I would really like

On March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Parenting1 Comment

is for my wife to have both of her feet operational. Yes, I know that she wants her feet operational more than I do. But holy shit.

Tiiiiiiiiiiiired.

In which I travel

On March 26, 2014March 26, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Teaching14 Comments

Because it entertains me to do so, and because I just got home from the parent meeting and am too tired to blog, here is the full text (well, almost, and some names altered to protect the innocent) of the notes I just sent home with my parents for the kids going with me to Washington DC next week. Yes, this really is what I’m like.

————————–

DO NOT BRING:

Any electronics that have to be plugged into a TV to be used.
Laptops
Flip flops (see below)

These items will be handed back to your parents when your bags are checked, and you will probably be scowled at, but you will still be allowed to go. Do not argue with me about whether your fancy-schmancy laptop-tablet hybrid is a tablet or a laptop. Tablets are allowed but are NOT recommended, and I don’t want to hear it if yours is broken or lost.

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT BRING:

Cigarettes
Drugs, other than prescription—and those should be given to Mr. Siler
Alcohol
Weapons of any kind (I carry a three inch pocket knife. I’m leaving it at home. Do NOT mess with DC security.)
Anything connected to sex in ANY WAY.

If you have any of these items with you, or anything else not on that list that may cause me to believe that you are planning on making stupid decisions on my trip, you will be SENT HOME. No bus. No trip. No refunds. Period. There is no appeal process and I am not kidding. PLEASE DO NOT TEST ME ON THIS.

Stuff to bring:

Clothes. This includes pants, shirts, socks, AND underwear. Yes, one pair for each day. We will be on a bus together for four days and you are not allowed to smell bad. Be prepared for a wide variety of different kinds of weather; the East Coast has been just as weird as we have this winter. Pay attention to the weather forecast.
Bathroom stuff (toothbrush/toothpaste, DEODORANT, shampoo if you’re picky)
A collapsible (very small) umbrella
At least one decent outfit (shirt with a collar) for Monday.
COMFORTABLE WALKING SHOES. This may be the most important thing on the list. DO NOT BRING FLIP FLOPS. ACTUAL SHOES WITH TOES AND LACES AND EVERYTHING. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR FEET AFTER TRYING TO WALK TWENTY MILES IN FLIP FLOPS.
A bathing suit (optional, possibly unnecessary)
A hat (plenty of places to buy these, but a good idea anyway)
Sunglasses
Sunscreen
Allergy meds, if you have problems—the cherry blossoms can be an issue at this time of year (give these to Mr. Siler)
Any other medications you need, especially if you are on any kind of ADHD medication.
A cell phone (essential)
Chargers for any of your electronics (there should be outlets on the bus)
A camera, if you are secretly from 1983 and your phone doesn’t have one.
Money for souvenirs (you probably don’t need much more than $50 or so, but I won’t be checking your wallets)
Feminine supplies, if feminine (someone will be caught by surprise. I will have extra; you just have to be brave enough to ask.)
Exactly $3 as a tip for the tour guide. More is OK.
A healthy amount of patience.

THINGS I WILL HAVE WITH ME:

Basic medicine (some sort of pain meds, probably ibuprofen; a basic antihistamine, Pepto-Bismol or Imodium)
Basic first aid supplies
Sunscreen
Extra girl stuff

YOU WILL BE GIVEN:

A WorldStrides ID card on a lanyard that has emergency numbers on it and you are to wear around your neck for EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE TRIP WHEN WE ARE NOT IN THE HOTEL. You are not allowed to trade this for Jolly Ranchers or let your girlfriend wear yours so that everyone can see how much you love her. In fact, for the four days on the trip you are not allowed to have a girlfriend either.

IS THERE A DRESS CODE?
You are not required to wear your school uniform. You are required to not look like a slob, other than on the ride to and from DC, and I want everyone looking classy on the last day of the trip because we will be touring a graveyard and the national Holocaust museum. Dress respectfully for the final day. Saturday and Sunday I’m not as concerned about other than the “not a slob” rule.

THE DAY OF THE TRIP:

Be at school by 6:00 PM on Friday. The bus leaves at 7:00 and we need time to check bags. Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones will be checking bags for the boys; Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Anderson will be checking bags for the girls.

Bring ANY MEDICATIONS YOU NEED along with clear dosage instructions for Mr. Siler. We will decide on a case by case basis who I am holding meds for and who will be trusted to take them on their own.

Dress comfortably for the long bus ride. The “don’t be a slob” rule is suspended for the ride to DC and the ride home from DC. I will be wearing jeans and a hoodie. Sweats/pajama pants are fine for the rides to and from DC only. They fall under the “slob” rule for the rest of the trip. A blanket and a pillow are also a good idea. Note that on the bus boys are sitting with boys and girls are sitting with girls.

FOR THE BUS:
Pack an overnight bag (a backpack) with a change of clothes, your toothbrush/toothpaste, a hairbrush or comb, and your deodorant, along with anything you think you might need specifically on the bus. Some snacks are fine too, although we’ll be stopping a couple of times on the way. Everything else should go in a suitcase. There are fairly spacious bathrooms at the Hard Rock Café where we have breakfast on the first day and we will be changing clothes and freshening up there.

WHAT ABOUT THE POOL? IS THERE A POOL? TELL ME ABOUT THE POOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Don’t count on it, but feel free to be optimistic. We’ll discuss it when we get there.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

My phone number is (HAHA ARE YOU NUTS INTERNET NO YOU DON’T GET THIS). Send me a text with your name RIGHT NOW (and whose parent you are, if your last name is different) so that I know who you are if you call.
You can follow us on Twitter @(address); if you don’t use Twitter you can still see the feed at https://twitter.com/(address).

Smoky Brussels Sprouts w/ Sriracha Drizzle

On March 25, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I haven’t made this yet, but OH MY GOD I’M GONNA.

J&A Gourmet

Hello all!

Tonight was a small dinner, Abbey and I only felt like small snacks instead of a big meal. We had some brussels sprouts in the fridge so we decided to roast and season them. Using smoked paprika gives a deep smokey flavor, and the sriracha drizzle adds a tangy spice. These are hearty, flavorful, super easy to make, and are the perfect side to any meal.

Serves 3
25 brussels sprouts halved
olive oil
smoked paprika
garlic powder
sriracha

First, preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cut all of the brussels sprouts in half and place in small bowl, pour over olive oil until all sprouts are covered evenly with a light layer. Then, spread onto a baking sheet and shake the garlic powder, salt and black pepper all over the brussels. Then sprinkle the smoked paprika on evenly. Place in oven for 30-35 minutes or until fork tender…

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In which I have no original ideas

On March 25, 2014March 25, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Uncategorized12 Comments

…so I’m doing the Post of the Day again:

What are the three most memorable moments — good or bad, happy or sad — in your life? Go!

I actually don’t have a terribly entertaining answer for this, unless it’s possible that it entertains you that it took ten minutes of thinking about it before the birth of my son entered my mind as a possibility. Maybe the fact that I’m the worst dad in all of human history is funny to people; I dunno.

Other possibilities (screw “three”) in no particular order. Well, except the first one:

Proposing to, and actually marrying, my wife. Also in the category of “wife” memories: our first kiss, which is a story I ain’t tellin’ here.
Finding out, over the phone with my landlord, who I’d given written permission to go through my mail, from three hundred miles away, that I’d gotten into Harvard.
Giving the eulogy at my grandfather’s funeral.
My first meeting with students as a classroom teacher, which… didn’t go terribly well.
My first look at my students on the first day at Hell School in Chicago.
Being lifted off the ground and tossed into a blackboard by one of those same students a few months later.
Various “first girlfriend” stories that are probably perfectly predictable and I don’t plan to share.
Weirdly missing: memories of graduations. I remember very little of any of the four.
Going into Jerusalem by myself while on a post-college dig in Israel, a story that I actually have told here. Also: spending an evening lying on a beach in Tiberias during that same trip.

I am trying to come up with some that don’t feel like cheating or stereotypes. May add more to this later.

More answers to this question after the jump.

Continue reading “In which I have no original ideas” →

Rick Grimes is secretly hilarious

On March 24, 2014March 24, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Television, Uncategorized5 Comments

…man, today was a long day. Have a joke:

(I pretty much just didn’t want to miss the day. This is seriously the first computer time I’ve had since getting home from work. Entertain me in comments, if you like.)

In which I do one thing right and not much else

On March 23, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Cooking2 Comments

So breakfast was the highlight of the day, unfortunately. I managed to bake! Successfully! Without trauma or nonsense! The sausage gravy was a touch spicier than I wanted it to be but that was the sausage I used and not the recipe; other than that everything worked out beautifully.

Then the rest of the day happened. It was kind of a long stupid ugly day for no good reason and I’ve gone through nearly 900 comic books (three boxes out of the fourteen I’m selling) and recorded the title, issue number, publisher, price point, and whether I’ve got it in a bag or bag-and-boarded into an Excel spreadsheet, plus generated a few pie charts so I can see relative percentages of, well, everything. This will in theory make the collection salable. What it’s actually done, so far, is made my feet hurt from standing the whole time and made me blind.

Oh, and I’m exhausted way beyond anything reasonable for my activity level today and I still have six inches of grading to do before I can sleep tonight. And the boy is having a massive shitfit over his bath right now for no clear reason that I can figure out.

I guess “whining” is going to be one of my tags tonight.