Anniverstravaganza!

On By Luther M. SilerIn Uncategorized

darren-millars-6th-birthday-29th-february-2008Extravviversary?  The words don’t combine together very well.

Anyway: today marks, roughly, six years(*) since my wife made the biggest mistake she could ever possibly have made and legally entangled herself in my nonsense forever.

Why “roughly six years,” Siler?  You don’t know your own anniversary?  You scumbag!

Well, no.  I am perfectly aware of the day my wife and I got married.(**)  You’re about to hear about, literally, just about our only argument.  We generally get along very well.  I tend to shake my head sadly at people who complain about marriage; getting married was, hands down, absolutely no room for debate whatsoever the greatest decision I ever made in my life and the best thing that ever happened to me, so I have little patience for popular whining about marriage.  You didn’t have to do it!  You don’t even have to stay if you don’t want to!  It’s okay!

But that’s beside the point and for once I don’t want to get sidetracked.  We got married on Leap Day in 2008– February 29th.  There is, obviously, no February 29th three years out of every four.  The fun part of our marriage (well, one of ’em) is the yearly argument about when to “officially” celebrate our anniversary.

I’m right.  She’s wrong.  I’m about to enunciate my own strong and undeniable reasons for celebrating on the 28th (yesterday) and her own silly and wrong reasons for celebrating on the 1st (today) and then will let the Internet decide once and for all, assuming that the Internet agrees with me, which you should, because I’m right.

(Why am I putting this post up on the 1st, you ask?  Because this year the first is on a Saturday, obviously, and so we’re going out tonight(***).  That doesn’t make today our anniversary.  Yesterday was our anniversary.)

Anyway.

REASONS I AM RIGHT:

  • We were married on the last day in February on 2008.  This year, the last day of February is the 28th, therefore our anniversary is on the 28th.
  • We were married in February.  March is not February. (I feel that this is my strongest argument, incidentally.)
  • We were married on the day before March 1st.  February 28th is the day before March 1st three years out of four.

HER REASONS TO JUSTIFY HER WRONGNESS:

  • We were married the day after February 28th, which this year happens to be March 1st.

Now, if you look, you will notice that I have three reasons for my correct decision, a full 300% greater than her paltry one reason.  Also, my reasons are correct and hers are silly.  So obviously I am right.

Internet!  Settle our dispute!

(*) Apparently the traditional gifts for a sixth anniversary are… iron and candy?(****)  I feel like someone creative should be able to come up with some sort of joke for that incredibly odd combination; I am apparently not a creative person today.  But… yeah.  Iron and candy.

(**) Speaking of important dates: I don’t tend to forget the boy’s birthday.  Weirdly, though, I have trouble getting the year he was born stuck in my head properly.  I don’t get it wrong, but I have to think about it.  Can’t explain why; it’s not like it was a long time ago.

(***) Mmm, sushi.  Also, for obvious reasons today is probably gonna be kinda quiet around here.  Although, who the hell am I kidding, I’ll probably get another post up while the boy is napping.  I took the day off from OtherJob, though, so this Saturday won’t be the usual constant-posting day that Saturdays usually are around here.

(****) WWE:  I want to see the Iron Anniversary in the squared circle today, not tomorrow.  Get on that.  The costuming alone should be hilarious.

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23 thoughts on “Anniverstravaganza!”

  1. Keith Ammann's avatar anjiaoshi

    You’re both wrong, and as a math teacher, you should understand why.
    A rule is true for all counting numbers if (a) it is true for 1 and (b) if, for all values of k, it is also true for k + 1.
    By definition, anniversaries occur at one-year intervals. If, for instance, an occasion takes place on date d, year y, then the anniversaries of that date are on date d, year y + 1, year y + 2, year y + 3, etc.
    According to the nature of counting numbers, d − 1 < d, and d</> + 1 > d. In both cases, d ± 1 ≠ d.
    Feb. 28 is not your anniversary, because d − 1 < d. March 1 is not your anniversary, because d</> + 1 > d.
    Posit that, for all values of x, x − 1 < x < x</> + 1. Extending this rule to anniversary dates, your anniversary must therefore fall between Feb. 28 (d − 1) and March 1 (d</> + 1).
    Thus, the     only correct time at which to celebrate your anniversary is at the stroke of midnight between Feb. 28 and March 1.
    MATH HAS SPOKEN.

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  4. I see your reasoning as most logical but I have learned to sit back at let the couple figure it before throwing my two cents in.

    As for the iron and candy……. Candy colors to match Ironman? Seriously the only thing to pop in my head and I don’t fully understand why.

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  5. pjsandchocolate's avatar pjsandchocolate

    You only have 2 reasons for being right, since your first and third reasons are exactly the same, just phrased differently.
    Your wife is right for this one reason: “If mama ain’t happy, then NOBODY’S happy.”
    As for “Iron and Candy” – one cast-iron cooking pan filled with her favorite candies.

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  6. “I’m right. She’s wrong.” Kinda sums up our arguments too, only in reverse. Thanks for the Like and in return, I like your attitude. (Wonder if I’ll get fired if I call my co-workers ‘minions’? I’ll let you know! 🙂

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  8. winterbayne's avatar winterbayne

    I didn’t read the justifications for the arguments, She is right. She will always be right even when she is not, THAT is the unbreakable law of the universe.

    Iron – the thing that gets wrinkles out of clothes and has a cord.
    Candy – my favorite is Dove chocolate promises. Don’t put them near the iron when it is turned on.

    I personally love collecting rocks so I’d prefer a piece of iron ore or a variation of iron to add to my collection. The clothes iron would get absolutely no use in my home.

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  9. winterbayne's avatar winterbayne

    OO…cast iron Dutch oven. I dig mine. If she is into cooking. Iron grill, pan….
    Or hand cuffs as in put him in irons type of thing but that is a stretch.

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  15. I think that so long as neither of you are trying to give reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate but once every four years, it’s just meant to be a silly disagreement that keeps you fiery (in a good way) with each other. Also, I love being married, and I think a few people complain about marriage because they can, and it’s what most people do!

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  18. Happy anniversary!!!!

    I have to agree with you when it comes to people complaining about marriage. You didn’t have to marry that person. It was your CHOICE!!!! Key word there: choice. Personally I love being married. We have fun, we laugh, we joke, we fight, we make up. And making up is always the best part!! 😉

    The dilemma on celebrating the anniversary though… Why not just celebrate it on both days? That way you get double the good food, double the fun, and double the celebrating. And it also ends the debate. If that’s not an option though, I have to agree with the math person’s explanation. The only thing I understood through that ENTIRE explanation was that the anniversary should be celebrated at the stroke of midnight. Makes perfect sense.

    Hope you guys had a great anniversary!!

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