In which I fix everything (part 3 of 3)

standardized-testing

For the last two days I’ve been griping about standardized tests, brought on by this article and Diane Ravitch’s reaction to it.  I hope I’ve adequately demonstrated that relying on a pass-no-pass model for determining effectiveness in schools is at least pointless and at most actively destructive.  I’ve also talked about the alternative to a pass model, which is a growth model, and offered some criticisms of how growth models, at least as they’re practiced in Indiana, tend to work.

Here, I’ll present an outline of how a growth model for standardized testing ought to work.

  • First, and most importantly:  remove any notion of “passing” and “failing” completely from the testing process.  The two most well-known standardized tests in America right now are the SAT and the ACT, the two tests for college readiness, taken by nearly every high school student at some point or another.  Even kids who don’t necessarily plan on going to college take at least one of those two tests, and many take both.  Have you ever heard of someone “failing” the SAT?  No.  Because it can’t be done.  You can get a terrible score on it, yes, but you can’t fail.  Your score is your score.  As it stands right now, creating a cutscore for “pass” and “fail” does the following:  1) It makes the test scores easier to manipulate (just change the cutscore and it looks like more kids passed– or that you’ve demonstrated “higher expectations”) 2) it puts an artificial, pointless barrier between kids who barely passed and kids who barely failed (there is no difference between a kid who got a 450 or a 46o; that’s a question or two.  It’s I-had-breakfast-and-eight-hours-of-sleep versus I-sorta-have-a-cold-today.  But if you put the pass cutscore at 455, it looks like a huge difference.  3) It embeds a shaming mechanism into the test that has no good reason for being there; 4) It creates an incentive for teachers to focus solely on the “bubble kids;” 5) It provides no useful information to anyone that the actual scores did not already provide.  There’s no reason for these tests to have a passing score. It is an entirely useless piece of information.  I can think of only one exception, which is when districts use test scores as part (PART!!!) of a decision on whether to pass a student from one grade to another.  Most districts don’t do that, though, since frequently scores aren’t available until very late in the year– it’s the second week of July already and I don’t know my kids’ scores yet.
  • Removing the notion of pass/fail from the equation makes it easier to focus on growth as the metric.  As I’ve demonstrated already, this means that you can’t exclude any of your kids as “unimportant” to your school’s or your classroom’s end-of-year scores.  How a student’s score changes from year to year becomes vastly more important than what their score actually is, which is as it should be.  There’s a bunch of ways to do this; Indiana’s model has some good points but is unnecessarily complicated.  Here’s my suggestion:
  • Pick a start year; any start year.   Divide those kids into groups based on percentile scores on the test.  I like using decile groups (in other words, ten) but you can use quintiles or quartiles or whatever.  In Year Two, determine how much those kids moved in their test scores from year one to year two.  There are a bunch of ways to quantify this depending on how mathy and technical you want to be about it; the simplest way is to determine movement by thirds.  In other words, let’s say the lower third of decile A went from a drop of 140 points to a gain of 10 points, the middle third went from a gain of 11 points to a gain of 90 points, and the top third went from a gain of 91 points to a gain of a million points.  You could use standardized deviations from the average or something else if you wanted, but the point is there’s a different standard based on your decile.  This means that the kids in the top decile (who don’t have a lot of movement up left for them) can only gain a few points or possibly even lose one or two and still be “high growth,” and kids who start in the low decile and drop anyway would probably be “low growth” kids.  This allows some recognition of where the kids started from without looking as random as Indiana’s model does, where a kid who got a 525’s growth model looks wildly different from a kid who got a 526; it should be a bit more predictable as well.
  • In Year Three, you determine how much they moved from Year Two, and so on.
  • Kids who transfer into a district aren’t a problem because they should have some sort of score from their previous district, and even if they were taking a different test in their previous district a percentile score on that test should be trivial to establish.  They then join whatever decile their percentile score belongs to.  If they literally took no standardized tests in their previous district because of their age or their district’s policy on standardized tests, well, the world doesn’t end.
  • Teachers and schools are evaluated by how many kids they have in the “average growth” and “high growth” categories.  Those kids should have been enrolled in the district for a certain minimum number of days (I’d say no less than 75% of the school days up to the test week) and– and this may be controversial– should have been present for a certain minimum number of days as well, and I’d say the absence number should be more stringent than the residence number.  I can’t teach a kid who isn’t in school, and I also can’t control whether a kid’s in my classroom or not.  Individual districts or states can determine on their own what their requirements for average growth and high growth numbers should be.

One disadvantage of this is that it does make it more difficult to present school data to the public in an easy-to-understand, useful format.  One big advantage of the pass rate is that parents understand it; moving from 50% pass to 52% pass has a clear meaning, while we’d have to present averages and medians and all sorts of other data to make the new model understandable when we’re comparing schools.  That said, if you want a “one number” comparison, providing the sum of the “high growth” and the “average growth” kids would do nicely; giving all three, combined with averages and medians of actual scores, would provide sufficient information, and anybody who wants to dig deeper (provide numbers per decile, too, maybe) is welcome to.

It’s not great– we’re still paying too much attention to standardized test scores– but it’s certainly better than what we’re doing now.  Feel free to comment (Please!  Comment!) with suggestions and questions.


Be prepared, by the way, for me to find something utterly irrelevant to gripe about tomorrow.

On “high expectations” (part 2 of 3)

3pg00dYesterday I talked about some of the problems that we run into when we try and use standardized test scores as a measure of student, teacher, or school progress.  One of the ideas that always comes up when we talk about this is that we should have “high standards” and “high expectations” for our students, and that when we acknowledge that some people aren’t starting the race at the same place as others we’re somehow not properly Standarding and Expecting things of them.

Sounds good, right?  High is better than low!  Standards and Expecting Things are good, too!  So we should definitely have High Standards and High Expectations.

Well, great.  Sure.

What’s that mean?

No, really.  I’ll wait.

And there’s the problem, see.  You aren’t really saying much of anything useful when you say you have High Expectations and High Standards, and you run the risk of saying something incoherent if you’re not careful.

Let’s address high standards first.  “Standard” has a pretty specific meaning in the education world.  The Common Core is a set of standards; most states still have their own, as the Core isn’t completely phased in yet across much of the country (and is a subject of no small amount of controversy on its own, I should point out).  To say that we should have High Standards is basically just saying that we should be teaching kids material that challenges them to some extent or another and (usually) what the speaker actually means is that kids nowadays should be learning either the exact same stuff they learned in that grade or something more complicated.

You can argue the merits of individual sets of standards; I happen to believe that, at least in sixth grade math, Indiana’s standards are pretty solid, and while I have a quibble or two with how the Common Core handles things I don’t have much of an argument with it.  Just tell me what to teach; I’ll get the job done.  What we don’t have, in any state or jurisdiction or locality that I’m aware of, is any situation where the standards are different for black students or white students or girls or ELL kids or anybody else.  Standards are standards; they’re out there and they’re not disaggregated at all.

So what we’re really talking about here is what we expect from our kids.

And for expectations to be meaningful, they have to be specific.  You can say that you expect everyone to do well.  Great!  Also pointless.  Heck, you can expect anything you want.  I can expect that my students will bring me cookies and milk every day and hurl a virgin sacrifice into the smoking maw of a nearby volcano for me once a month, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

Lemme say it again: expectations must be specific to specific students in order to be meaningful.  

A few examples, all based on real kids I had last year:  Velma had the highest math score in the fifth grade before landing in my room.  Velma, frankly, doesn’t have a lot of room for growth.  She was already pretty close to getting as high a score as scores can get.

I told her she’d gotten the highest score in the fifth grade.  She was excited and proud.

“I expect the highest score in the school this year, y’know,” I said.  Which, honestly, was asking her for maybe a ten-point bump in her score.  In all seriousness, my challenge with Velma last year was to keep her realistic.  I haven’t seen her ISTEP score for sixth grade yet, because reasons, but when you start off with a score as high as hers is and there’s an upward limit to how well she can do, the simple fact of the matter is no matter how good a teacher I am her score is likely to drop.  Demanding perfection from her would have been stupid.  It would have stressed her out and stressing her out would not have helped her performance.  I used the “best score in the school” line once or twice over the course of the year, mostly to hassle her, but short of a nosedive there’s not much she could have done to disappoint me with her score.  She’s a great kid and I know she did her best.

“Do your best!” sounds like weasel language, doesn’t it?  That’s not high expectations!  Should I have ridden the kid like a donkey all year about driving her enemies before her and hearing the lamentations of their women to avoid the “lacks high expectations” canard?  No, of course not; screw that.  Expecting a kid to do his or her best is really all you need to do if you have a kid who actually will do their best, and there was never any risk of Velma giving me less than 100%.

Fred, on the other hand, had the lowest math score in the fifth grade.  His math score was seriously a hundred points lower than the second-lowest kid I had.  It was so low that I was seriously wondering whether he got off by a number or something and had managed to answer every question on the wrong line.

Early on in the year, Fred’s mother requested a parent/teacher conference with me and asked me flat-out if I thought he was going to pass ISTEP with me as his teacher.  And I told her that there was basically no chance whatsoever of that happening.  I more or less guaranteed her that her son was going to fail again.  He was just too damn far behind; too far to catch him up to grade level in a single year barring a miracle or him moving into my damn house.

And then I told her that I wanted to see a higher point gain from Fred than any other kid I taught this year, and spent about fifteen minutes explaining exactly how we were going to do it, and then worked my ass off all year keeping him as close to on-track as I possibly could.  And now, eight or nine months later, there’s maybe one kid out of the fiftysome I had last year whose score I want to see more than I want to see Fred’s.  I bet I got a 200 point gain out of the kid– not remotely enough to get him to pass, mind you, but about 166% of the score he got last year.

And now there’s Daphne.  Daphne missed passing the ISTEP in fifth grade by something like five pointsbasically a single question.  I looked her mother in the eye on Open House night, which is before school even starts, and guaranteed her that her kid was going to pass ISTEP this year.  Dumb?  Yeah, probably, but I was in a grand mood.  Daphne spent the year ricocheting from one emotional crisis to another; I caught her cutting herself on two separate occasions (note that I’m the one doing this, not her parents,) rarely turning any work in, etcetera.  Daphne had a terrible year– but a terrible year that had basically nothing to do with her math class or her math teacher.  Do I expect Daphne to have made strides in my math class when Daphne probably did well by keeping herself out of a mental hospital over the course of the year?  Of course not.  I’d like to see that she made some improvement and, honestly, I suspect she did– she didn’t turn in any work, which meant she spent most of the year failing all of my classes (and that’s a discussion for another time) but she seemed pretty on the ball whenever I was assessing her on anything other than turned-in assignments.  But her ISTEP score?  I really don’t care anymore.  Staying the same is just fine.

You tell me: which kid do I have higher expectations for?  Which kid is going to make me look better when and if our test scores get reported solely on pass rates?  And, again, notice: for Fred and Velma, the answer is neither.  One kid failed and will fail again; one kid passed and will pass again.  Neither of them is going to move my numbers at all if we’re using a pass-rate-only evaluation of our test scores.  Daphne is a perfect example of a bubble kid (and, I can’t make this clearer: all three of these kids are real) and so my skills as a teacher and my building’s probation status are going to depend on whether one kid who takes one test on one day spent the night before using erasers to scar her own arms or not.

This is unacceptable.

The pass model fails because it does not encourage high expectations.  It encourages a narrow focus on a narrow band of kids who can be motivated, bribed, pushed or dragged across that line.  And if the state doesn’t particularly like their pass numbers from a test, all they have to do is manipulate the cutscore and– voila!– we had more kids pass than we did last year!  We’re Doing Things over here!  I am certain that Illinois did this while I am teaching there; I had kids pass the ISAT my second year in Chicago who had absolutely no business “passing” anything at all, and the state and CPS crowed and crowed about our pass numbers.  They manipulated the test scores; while I’m not going to go so far as to claim that I didn’t teach my own kids anything, what they did learn from me had precious little to do with their test scores at the end of the year.

I hoped that one of my kids didn’t fall by too much, that one kid failed, and that a third kid just didn’t crater.  And I maintain that all three of those things represent “high expectations.”

Any chance of me convincing anyone of that without 1658 words of explanations?

Tomorrow: A method that I think might actually work.

In which this isn’t quite what it looks like (part 1 of 3)

imgresWhat the hell, let’s get in trouble.

Go take a look at this article first, and then Diane Ravitch’s reaction to the article.

What, you didn’t read?  Okay, I’ll summarize.  Alabama thinks this is OK and Diane’s mad; the slightly ungrammatical intro is a quote:

    • These are the percentages of third-graders expected to pass math in their subgroups for 2013 are:
    •  93.6 percent of Asian/Pacific Islander students.
    •  91.5 percent of white students.
    •  90.3 percent of American Indian students.
    •  89.4 percent of multiracial students.
    •  85.5 percent of Hispanic students.
    •  82.6 percent of students in poverty.
    •  79.6 percent of English language-learner students.
    •  79 percent of black students.
    •  61.7 percent of special needs students.

I can hear your brain, you know.  “What?” you’re thinking.  “That’s terrible!  How dare they set lower standards for everybody other than Asians and whites!  That’s racist!”

She’s hollering and yelling about it and so is everybody in her comments (most of ’em, anyway) and I barely had the strength to wade through a third of the comments on the original article.

Let that idea simmer a little bit; I’m sympathetic, believe me.  I’m gonna change the subject for a bit but I’ll get back around to this.

Let’s assume that, as we do at the moment, you believe that standardized tests of some kind are a good way to assess student learning.  For the moment, I’m not going to debate whether that’s actually true or not; let’s just mutually decide that we think they do.  It’s good enough.  If you care about standardized test scores, there’s a couple of different ways to pay attention to how schools/classrooms/teachers/kids/whatever do on them.  The first, which is the method No Child Left Behind followed for a decade or so, is the raw pass rate, and I think the pass rate is the number that most people are accustomed to wanting to look at.  You just calculate how many kids passed out of how many kids took the test, and you’re done.  One number, easy to compare to other numbers.  It’s great!

If you tell a school, or a district, or whatever, that they’re going to be judged solely on how many kids manage to pass Test X, here is what’s going to happen:  the “bubble kids” suddenly become the most important students in the building.  Billy, over there, has parents who made sure he was reading before he entered preschool.  His house has thousands of books in it, his parents both have graduate degrees, and he had the highest test score in your school last year.

You are not going to pay any attention to Billy.  Billy’s going to pass unless you blind him before he takes the test.

Shirley, on the other hand, is the product of a single-parent home and has an array of learning disabilities.  The only book in her house is the Bible, and no one in the house can read it.  Her mother has been unemployed for eight months and did not graduate high school.  Shirley currently lives with her mother, her aunt, and the six other children they have between them and their home situation is at best wildly unstable.  She struggles mightily with material four or five grade levels below her age.

Screw Shirley, too.  It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into her; she’s not gonna pass no matter what you do unless you take the test for her.

The kid you’re looking at is William.  William’s pretty bright, usually, but how well he does depends on his mood.  If he’s paying attention, and if he’s taken his meds, he can be a good student.  He struggles, and needs additional help, but he generally isn’t the type to just give up on you; he’s a hard worker if he thinks you like him.  He didn’t pass last  year, but he was close.

Your Williams are now the most important kids in your classroom.  Those kids– and they can be a large chunk of your room depending on what kind of school you teach at– are going to determine whether you pass or fail, or whether your school stays afloat or goes on probation.  You’re going to spend the lion’s share of your energy on the kids who have a chance to pass the test but aren’t guaranteed to pass the test.  The rest of them are what they are; one way or another, it’s a waste of energy.

Sad but true fact:  Billy is more likely (but not guaranteed) to be white or Asian, and Shirley is more likely (but again, not guaranteed) to be black or Hispanic.  William is a little more blended but he’s a bit more likely to be some shade of brown than otherwise.  The so-called “achievement gap” is so pervasive in American schools that I’m not going to waste the breath on talking about it beyond this sentence.  It exists.  It sucks that it’s real, but it is.

If you focus on pass-only as your measurement method, you’re going to get schools and teachers who focus solely on the middle rather than the top or the bottom.  Kids who can’t be moved from fail to pass, or who won’t move from pass to fail, are a poor use of effort.  You’ve got to get each and every one of those bubble kids because we have to show “improvement” on our grade’s numbers from last year, even though these aren’t the same kids we were measuring last year, they just happen to be the same age as those kids were.

This, obviously (I hope) makes no goddamn sense at all.

Here’s a better way:  pay little or no attention to pass rates, and instead focus on improvement.  Okay, it’s nice that Billy passed.  Did he do better this year than he did last year?  By how much?  If the answer is “yes,” you’re doing a good job.  If the answer is “no,” there’s a problem.  If you have a bunch of Billys and they all did worse than they did last year, you have a real problem.

Shirley?  We’re not so worried about whether Shirley passes right now.  Shirley entered sixth grade reading at a first-grade level.  If you moved Shirley up to third grade in a single school year, you did a good job.  Same as William– his score was 40 points higher than he did last year, but the pass cutscore moved up by 45 points.  He still didn’t pass, but he did better than he did last year.  He showed improvement.  This is a good thing.

It is also hideously complicated, and that hideous complication is why we tend to focus on pass rates instead, even though focusing on pass rates is stupid.  Pass rates aren’t complicated and they aren’t hard to explain.  Indiana, in particular, uses the improvement method, technically called a “growth model.”  Every kid that takes the ISTEP is compared to every other kid who got the same score they got last year, and then they’re ranked as either a High Growth, Average Growth, or Low Growth kid.  The problem is that sometimes you’ll get some random-ass score that not many people got and a “high growth” score is a point.  Or– and I saw this happen– some kids will lose points and still be High Growth, and other kids will gain immense amounts of points but because everyone who got a 512 last year ate their Wheaties before the test this year, that will somehow count as Low or Average growth.

It’s still better.  Indiana’s model has stupidities embedded in it– those kids I talk about in the last paragraph are not hypothetical– but it’s still better than relying on pass rates, because every kid’s scores count.  I don’t want to just focus on my bubble kids.  I want to focus on everybody, because Shirley having a bad year hurts me just as much as William or Billy.  When we get down to the nitty-gritty details of who’s High Growth and who’s Low Growth I might find some places to quibble, but as an educator I can’t afford to prioritize one group of students over another.

And that’s a good thing.  We want that.


Back to NCLB for a minute.  One of the bigger pains in the ass of NCLB was the way it disaggregated groups of kids into subgroups.  Not only did your school have to pass a certain percentage of its kids to stay in good standing, but a certain percentage of your black kids and a certain percentage of your ELL kids and a certain percentage of your special ed kids and a certain percentage of your girls and a certain percentage of your blah blah blah blah blah all had to meet Adequate Yearly Progress goals.  If just one of your subgroups– and these damn things could be on the level of a single family in a smaller school– was out of compliance, the whole school was.  God help you if you had a diverse student body.  Somebody was bound to mess up; you were screwed.  It made being in a basically segregated school a good thing.  If everybody was black (and my school in Chicago was) then you didn’t have to worry about eight different racial subpopulations screwing your numbers up because the Garcias or the Nguyens just got here last year and their kids don’t speak English well enough to pass the test yet.  Or because your school has a reputation for having a great special ed department, so you have lots of special ed students because parents fight to get their kids in your school– which means when that large group of special ed students don’t make AYP, your whole building is labeled “failing” because of the very thing that made your building successful.

It sucked, mightily.

What we’re seeing, up there, in that looks-really-racist chart, is a combination of a growth method and NCLB’s disaggregated student populations.  They’re acknowledging that the achievement gap exists.  We cannot simply state that we want 80% of everybody to pass (to pick a number at random) because it’s unrealistic for all of our groups of kids.  Instead, what we want to see is for everyone to make improvement.  Well, to improve, our Asian kids have to hit a 93.6% pass rate.  Our black kids aren’t passing at the rates that the Asian kids are.  We still want improvement from them, but for that group, a 79% pass rate represents improvement.  We’re still trying to bring up all of our kids; we’re just realistic about how much we might be able to bring them up from year to year.

Of course, when you present it that way, without– at the moment– 1764 words that no one will read of explanation first, you look racist as hell.  And it was a terrible mistake for the state of Alabama to release these numbers like this.  But it was a political mistake, not a pedagogical one.

Tomorrow– because this is already too long– I’m going to talk about what it actually means to have “high standards” and “high expectations” and how it works with this type of model.

Unless, of course, I come up with something more interesting.

On iceballs (again)

Europa Report was awesome, dudes.  Go check it out.

In which my wife calls my bluff

black_pearl__pineapple__wheel_bigger_size_003I haven’t mentioned it in this space yet, but I have a ukulele.  I can’t actually play it. It’s not quite accurate to say that I have no musical talent– I can look at a piece of music and passably hum a reasonable approximation of what it should sound like, but without being able to name any of the actual notes and it’ll probably be off-key.  The last time I actually played an instrument was in sixth grade, I think, and other than being able to belt out the Indiana University fight song on my trombone at the drop of a hat I was neither terribly interested or very good.

I have a ukulele because I find the sound of the thing pleasant and it was inexpensive to buy.  The uke’s so easy that you can literally pick the thing up and, assuming it’s tuned properly (oh: I can tune my ukulele) you can just strum it and come up with something that sounds at least a little bit like real music even if you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. I can do that.  At various points I have made noises about how I really ought to take a lesson or two and learn how to actually play this stupid little thing, but in the same sense that people say they ought to skydive sometime.  (Which I also ought to do.)

Also: my birthday is tomorrow.

Yesterday my wife walked into the living room, handed me an envelope, and said “Happy Birthday!”

A gift certificate for four private ukulele lessons.  With, presumably, some sort of actual musician.

Well, shit.

Part of me is really looking forward to this and the rest of me is looking forward to the blog post I’ll write with my nose and tongue once my instructor cuts my fingers off to keep me from coming near an instrument ever again.  Apparently their uke guy is heading out of town in August to go to some fancy-schmancy music school somewhere (please god don’t let him be a high school student) and so I have to get all of my lessons in in July and the early part of August– fine with me, as I know I won’t have the time or inclination for it once school starts.

So y’all have that to look forward to now.

In which I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me

Other things took up the bulk of my morning, and now there’s OtherJob to contend with.  Any posteration will therefore have to wait until this evening.  My deepest apologies to the two or three humans who are actually reading this.

In which M-O-O-N, that spells S-M-R-T

tumblr_mhijhvr7eG1qz8911o1_1280I downloaded Words with Friends the other day.  I will, I think, be deleting Words with Friends by the end of the day today.

We might as well start off with the honest part:  A good bit of the reason why I’m done is that I’m being mercilessly dismantled by every single person I’m playing, over and over and over again.  I’ve always sucked at Scrabble (which feels like it shouldn’t be true, given my vocabulary) and Words with Friends is basically just Scrabble except it’s asynchronous and has a slightly different board.  I suck at Scrabble, therefore I suck at Words with Friends.

So, yeah, there’s a heavy degree of sore-loserdom here.  But losing at Words with Friends is somehow worse than losing at regular things.  Part of that is the asynchronous nature of it; you play a word when you feel like it, meaning that it might be thirty seconds or three hours in between turns.  One of the people I’m playing with is in California, another one is in England.  They’re not even awake at the same time I’m awake.  This means that the time when we’re both awake and available to play is limited as is, even when you consider that everyone involved has jobs and/or kids and/or other shit to do.

What I’m saying is that the ass-kicking I’m taking here is taking days.  I haven’t actually finished a game yet and I downloaded this goddamn thing like forever ago.  I’ve resigned two of them when the beatings got too severe to put up with any longer, and I’m real real close to resigning another that appears to have built itself into a suit of armor where it’s virtually impossible to hang any additional letters off of anything without one of those obnoxious add-one-letter-and-make-sixteen-new-words things.  Four of those words aren’t going to be real; you need access to the Special Scrabble Dictionary that tells you that “Xi” is a word (hint: it isn’t) to be able to pull this nonsense off.  I can look at a list of letters and see that I’m one letter off from spelling eschatological but I’ll be damned if I can look at a table full of letters and figure out that I can stick an L in someplace and make fifteen words.  My brain doesn’t work that way.

Fuck it, I’m going back to Bejeweled.  I can fail at that at two minutes and start over.


Today’s my day off, which means, say it with me!:  it’s raining outside and maintaining the horrorbeast that is my lawn remains impossible.  I bought a chain saw yesterday and spent a pleasurable half hour or so hacking last week’s storm-dropped huge tree branches apart.  I didn’t actually get around to moving them out to where the city will haul them away; that was going to be today’s job.  Instead, I think I’m just going to curl up in a chair and read a book and then maybe see if I can get something productive done in the house.

In which we’ve created a monster

narcisiSo the boy has figured out that there are pictures and videos of him on those little objects that Mommy and Daddy carry around and look at all the time.  If you look at my Instagram feed, there are two videos on there already where basically all I’m doing is pointing the front camera at the kid and recording his reaction to it.  He’s gotten into the habit of crawling into our laps and insisting on being shown videos of himself.  Over and over and over and over.

“More Kenny!  More Kenny!”

“You’re right there.  You can look at yourself!”

This remains unconvincing.  Mirrors don’t work either; he wants to see himself moving on a screen, and nothing that isn’t a screen will do.  I can’t wait to see what he does the first time I mirror my iPad to the television in the living room with a video of him.

We’re raising a narcissist.

(That said: it bugs me how often we have our phones out around him; if anything, this will end up curtailing that behavior a bit, which is probably a good thing.  I don’t mind him seeing me with my nose in a book all the goddamn time.  I’d prefer he not grow up thinking your cellphone is how you interact with the world.)


The pulled pork didn’t quite work out as I intended, unfortunately– not to say that my family didn’t devour it with great gusto and insist that it was wonderful, but I would have expected something substantially spicier with the amount of seasonings and the entire freaking jalapeno pepper that I put into it. It ended up with barely any kick at all; I was openly adding sriracha to my food by the end of the meal.  (Sriracha makes everything better, including, now, barbecue and cole slaw.)  What little is left– of, again, nearly five pounds of pork, so it ain’t like it was rejected– was buried in barbecue sauce and put in the fridge; I have high hopes that marinating overnight will lead to food that’s better on Day 2 than it was on Day 1. We’ll see.


I have a to-do list today as long as my arm, featuring the full gamut of Things That Must Be Done: some parenting (handing the boy off to grandma for part of the day so I can do the rest of this) some shopping, some cleaning, some intellectual work (I have an essay that I must finish and some other writerating that I ought to work on), some teacherly planning stuff, and a fair amount of physical labor.  And then OtherJob at 5, and it’s going to rain again.  Who wants to bet that I spend the whole day on the computer but don’t actually get any of the computer-based stuff done?