In which I wasn’t kidding

It is GORGEOUS outside right now.   

    
   

Because why not

First snow of the season, taken from inside, where it’s nice and warm.   

 

FOUR day WEEK end

(clap, clap, clapclapclap)

In which I shill

In accordance with prophecy, it’s -20 degrees outside and I’m at home.  I have had one opportunity for a five-day work week in 2015, and during that week I was sick for two days.  Tomorrow morning it is expected to be colder, and while there are going to be less issues with precipitation (we’re also getting lots of blowing lake-effect snow, which is nasty) I think colder than twenty below means I’m likely at day one of a four-day weekend right now.  Generally, twenty below is regarded as the magic number.  I think it’ll be a few days before I’m back at work.

Allow me to discuss a website and a mobile app for a moment.  I don’t know what you use for your weather forecasts, but you should be going to Weather Underground.

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(I note that, despite what I just said, the temp for tomorrow morning– shown by the vertical line– is at -17 and not -20.  Nonetheless.)

The critical times for closing school are 6:00 in the morning and 3:00 in the afternoon.  For those of us who care about such things, knowing what the high and low are going to be during the day is actually not terribly relevant, especially since meteorologists don’t know what the words “high” and “low” actually mean.  Elsewhere on this page the low temp for today is listed as -6, a temperature that appears nowhere on the actual forecast for today on the same damn page, but instead happens tomorrow morning.

Note: the “high temperature” for a given day is the warmest it is at any point during that day.  Similarly, the “low temperature” for a given day is the coldest it is at any point during that day.  If meteorologists are using any other definitions for “high” and “low,” they are being stupid and should stop.  Come up with your own words.  “High” and “low” have seven goddamn letters between the two of them and we know what they mean.  Stop being dumb.  I don’t care what good reasons you think you have for defining those words wrong; you’re being dumb and you should stop.  Call your dumb things something else.  “High” and “low” belong to people who speak English.

Anyway.  That’s actually a separate rant.  Back to what I was saying: The important times are 6 AM and 3 PM, because those are bus times, with 6 AM being considerably more important than 3 PM because kids are walking to school and/or standing outside waiting for their buses.  Twenty below goddamn zero is too bloody cold for a little kid to stand outside and wait for the bus even before you get to the part where a lot of them don’t have anything between them and the cold other than a thin hoodie.  Add crappy precipitation that slows the buses down (and sometimes knocks them off the road or keeps them from starting in the first place) and it becomes massively irresponsible on the part of the adults.

Which is why I love the hell out of this graph.  It’s got all the usual sources of error built into it that any weather forecasting model does, of course, but it gives me everything I could possibly need to figure out what a day’s going to be like at a glance.  I have never seen any weather site other than Weather Underground that presents data this cleanly or this usefully– and, looking at it, I’m a little concerned about Tuesday and Friday next week, too.

(Note, by the way, the high and low for next Tuesday.  A low of 13 degrees when it gets down to -1 during that day?  No.  That’s not what that word means.  The low is -1.)

Anyway.  Not only is the site awesome, but they have an app now too, and that includes not only the ability to see that graph but lots of fun radar stuff too. I strongly recommend you check them out.

And now to figure out what I’m doing with myself today.

Today

AvI_0yPCAAII5dDMy dog died yesterday.  I mention that again not to elicit further sympathy but to remind you that I have a pretty solid baseline for what constitutes a “shitty day” this week.

Today was such an epically bad day at work that I actually cannot describe it, not because I lack the words, but because I suspect that we’re going to make the fucking news, and I’d rather not make it so easy to figure out where I work when it happens.  That bad.  Bad enough that, going around the table at the emergency administrative team meeting that we had to call, we added up to well over a hundred years of experience in education and not one of us had even heard of what was going on happening in another school.  And when we called downtown to inform central office, they also replied, more or less, “Uh,  yeah, good fuckin’ luck with that; we have no idea what to do.”

I’m done, guys. Done.  Enough of this week.  And it’s so fucking cold outside that I couldn’t feel my face anymore when I came back into the building after shepherding the kids onto their buses.  I am Of the North.  I do not complain about cold.  And it is so balls-cold outside that I could barely tolerate it.

There is talk that we are going to lose either or both of the next two days; all after-school activities were cancelled today, and more than one neighboring district literally went “Never mind, fuck it” and cancelled the school day and sent everyone home partway through.  We, perhaps, should have followed their lead.

I will not be back tonight unless I have something legitimately good to share; feel free to talk among yourselves.

Proof of life, I suppose

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life gone from “didn’t know I was sick” to “calling in to work” faster than I did Thursday morning.  I literally woke up, turned my head, and reached for my phone to pull up the SubFinder app.  I don’t know who broke into my skull during the night and replaced my brain with a billion shards of broken glass, but as soon as I turned said head all those shards of glass went straight into my eyes and my forehead.  The decision was instantaneous.  

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I think I stayed awake long enough to text my wife, who wasn’t in the room, that I wasn’t going to work and not to wake me back up, and that was it: I was out, completely, until after 1:00 PM, and spent most of the rest of the day bouncing back and forth between “napping” and “wishing I was dead.”  I got up for a few minutes when Bek came home for lunch, ate something, and promptly lost it about 15 minutes later.  Yesterday was marginally better, enough so that by the time evening rolled around I went out for my wife’s birthday dinner with my family but not better enough that I went to work.  Today I’d call myself 85% human.  I’ll take it.

Outside, we’re having another blizzard.  It’s not going to accumulate much, I don’t think, but it’s blowy as hell and there have been several times already today where I’ve looked out my front door and been unable to see the foot of my driveway.  A neighboring county has basically ordered everyone but emergency vehicles off the road, although ours isn’t that bad yet.  So cabin fever gets to be something that I can look forward to for the rest of the weekend.

Let’s see.  What else is going on?

  • I am trying very hard not to rant about the upcoming ISTEP test.  Very very hard.  Two main reasons: one, it’s mostly inside baseball to anyone who doesn’t live in Indiana, and two, it’s too bound up in what is rapidly becoming life-crisis levels of disaffection with my career.  Once I get started, I’m not going to be able to stop, and I’m just not willing to go there yet.
  • I still owe those of you who may be interested a post on Amazon ads.  I don’t know that I had officially stopped the advertising campaign the last time I’d mentioned it, but I have by now, and describing the program as “completely useless” is the literal, non-hyperbolic, using-literal-to-mean-literal-and-not-figurative truth.
  • I am in possession of the final cover, text and all, for THE BENEVOLENCE ARCHIVES, VOL. 2: THE SANCTUM OF THE SPHERE.  I am hugely excited about it and I am doing my best to sit on it for a while longer because the book doesn’t launch until April 28th and I’m trying to save some surprises for closer to release date.  My alphas are supposed to be getting back to me in about two weeks; I’ve heard good rumblings from a few of them but nothing official yet.
  • The Internet has, in general, been destroying my will to live lately.  I’m working on that, though.  Partially by about tripling my daily dose of Vitamin D.  Hopefully you can’t actually overdose on that shit.
  • I did my taxes, or at least mostly did my taxes.  Bad news: I owe thousands of dollars.  Good news: I knew I was going to owe thousands of dollars (getting a $10K grant will do that) and I actually owe less than the number of thousands of dollars that I’d set aside to pay for taxes, so at the moment it’s sorta like getting a refund, and that’s before I really start looking carefully at deductions.  So, yay for financial planning, I guess?

Whassupwitchu this weekend?

Snow pictures, 2015 edition

Not much accumulation yet, but it’s sticking to EVERYTHING. Will probably have to hit the driveway before lunch just because of the weight of the snow. No word on school tomorrow, obviously.

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Uh-oh.

Screen Shot 2015-01-31 at 8.33.02 PMGo ahead, count ’em.  That there storm system is four states wide, and heading more or less directly toward me.  Like, due east.  The whole damn thing’s gonna pass over us, and it’ll pick up steam when it goes over the lake.

Tomorrow’s gonna be fun.  I don’t think this is going to eat Monday yet, though, because even if, as predicted, it snows for 24 hours straight, the plows ought to have time to keep the roads clear.  I still bet I have to blow off the driveway three times tomorrow.

Whee!