Ugh, pt. 2

exhausted_zpsa4303e7bWell, it’s not as if I didn’t know it while it was happening, but it’s now confirmed: last year did not go well.  I have official state growth numbers on all my kids, and there’s no way to sugarcoat it: they suck.  Indiana breaks kids into three growth categories, conveniently labeled Low Growth, Medium Growth, and High Growth.  In the two previous years that the growth model has existed, I’ve had over half of my kids in High Growth and between ten and twenty percent (well, okay, 10% one year and 20% the next) as Low Growth kids.  The rest, obviously, were in the middle.  These numbers either had me with the best numbers in my building one year or tied for second or third, depending on how you measured, the second year.

Last year I only managed to get a quarter of my kids into the High Growth category, with fully forty-five fucking percent of them low growth.  Even if I throw out a few of the kids who I don’t think it’s fair to count against me (in particular, the blind kid who transferred into my class in the third quarter and the handful of kids who spent large chunks of the year in jail or suspended) I’m still probably at a third low growth, which is way too fucking many.  I had a brief theory that I was in trouble because I’d jumped up a grade and I was effectively competing against myself; I haven’t formally run the numbers but looking closely convinced me that that was not the case.  Some of my highest-growth kids are kids I had two years in a row; some of my lowest-growth kids were kids I only had the one year.

I don’t have data on other teachers to compare myself to because I’m no longer in the same building; for whatever it’s worth, I can also see their language arts scores and by and large my students had better growth in math than LA.  However, someone else doing worse doesn’t really make me feel better for having sucked last year.  Even my honors kids didn’t really do that great on growth; I feel slightly okay with that because since it was the Algebra class, I didn’t fully concentrate on the 8th grade standards, and I don’t know that I can expect high ISTEP growth when I wasn’t concentrating on ISTEP skills over the course of the year.  But that doesn’t exactly make me look better either, although they did quite well on the ECAs at the end of the year, which is something.

The more I think about it, the less interested I am in potentially going back into the classroom after the expiration date on this job runs out.  I’m still most of a school year away at minimum (and may be four years away if I get lucky with a couple of things this year) but I still need to start thinking seriously about what is going to come next.  Because right now I don’t miss teaching.  I just don’t.  And I really need to figure out what The Next Thing might be.


I will be in Indianapolis tomorrow and Thursday, speaking of the new job, so it may be quiet around here.  I’m hoping to have a Big Thing to announce this weekend, so with a bit of luck I’ll make up for it.

 

In which I slowly go blind

imagesI’m spending the entire day crunching ISTEP scores and growth numbers and all sorts of other stuff, and alternately cursing myself, the Indiana State Board of Education, my boss, Microsoft Excel, human biology and math itself for the various frauds and iniquities being perpetrated on myself/my school/the state of education in general as I try and track down enough information to make what I’m doing useful to anybody.

I have discovered that the Windows version of Excel does not actually allow you to open two Excel documents in multiple windows.  For system software that is actually called Windows this seems like somewhat of a curious oversight.  Flipping back and forth is vastly annoying and I don’t like it one bit.  I’d prefer to not have to wait until I get home to do this on my Mac– there’s a reason I’m doing it at OtherJob– but it looks as if I might have to, because it’ll take a third of the time if I can just have everything open at once on my wonderful home setup, which features two monitors, one of which is a 27-incher, and not this teensy laptop screen.

Further aggravating me is the fact that the state appears to have made slightly different decisions about who counts and who doesn’t than I did when I put my initial numbers for my own students together back when I actually got the ISTEP data in the first place.  The low-growth kid who came in halfway through the year?  For some reason, counts.  The high-growth kid who I had for all but the first six days of the school year?  Didn’t.  Which shifts my overall numbers in a way I don’t like.

This don’ make no sense, and I’m wondering how exactly they decided who counts and who doesn’t, because length of enrollment doesn’t seem to be it.  Which is a whole ‘nother column I need to worry about if I’m going to keep track of it– and right now I don’t want to.

On the plus side, most of my grading is done.  I’m gonna take a break and read for at least an hour or so to let my eyes recover (from backlit tiny type to tiny type on paper, which… well, hopefully that’s a meaningful difference) and then I’ll see what else I can get done today.

What do people who don’t work two jobs on Saturday do on Saturday?

In which I am listening to Nappy Roots

field-of-pretty-flowers-124a

Let’s begin now.

Have some pretty flowers.  At least, this is what Google gives you when you google “pretty flowers.”  (Image credit.)

Okay.  Today was better.  At no point today did I wish to resign, storm out of the building in a high dudgeon, or annihilate any other living being who I work with or am responsible for in any way.  That’s progress!  Days without rage are good, and as you could probably tell from yesterday’s post that day was rather high on rage.  Better is good.  I got things done today!  Things that have been nagging at the back of my brain for weeks, and only emerging into full remembrance when it’s been much too late for me to actually do anything about it!

I have my ISTEP scores, by the way, which is unrelated to yesterday’s issues.  Short version:  I’m happy, personally.  I’m not going into building level stuff right now and may not go into building stuff at all here, as it makes it too easy to locate precisely where I work and I’d prefer not to do that.  I’ll have to figure out how to write the post if I do.  But personally I’m happy.  More details of some kind later.

(Fifteen minutes of staring at the screen later)

I’m apparently lacking in things to say today.  Despite how bad yesterday went, I’m doing a pretty good job of keeping to my “don’t yell at kids” promise this year.  I had that one moment with one kid (I think I talked about it here; if not I’ll come back and edit, because it’s kind of a funny story) but other than that I’ve done really well.  Even the reading of the riot act that occurred this morning (complete with rearranging the desks and new seating charts for my first and second hour classes, which were the main sources of my bad mood yesterday, although by far the only ones) was done largely through tone and without raising my voice.  Today we managed to remember that, hey, we’ve sorta done math before, once or twice at least, and maybe a fraction isn’t some sort of alien life form that no one has ever seen or expected us to convert into a decimal before.

So, yeah.  Point is: better day.  Hopefully yours went okay too.


Ha!  I didn’t tell that story.  I love my homeroom, right?  They’re wonderful kids and I would keep them forever and ever if I could, but sadly they’re only my homeroom and I don’t have them all day like I did last year.  I have duty in the gym in the morning, so often my girls are already waiting at my door for me when I get to homeroom– my unofficial rule is that I don’t care when the bell rings, if you beat me down to my room (which, remember, is out in the sticks) then you’re not tardy to class.  Anyway, one day a week or two ago I’m letting the girls into my classroom when I hear a piercing, blood-freezing scream from one of them– a kid who I like a lot but who could very justifiably be accused of being slightly high-strung.

I spin around.  Note that at this point I’m not even raising my voice.  “Nefertiti, what in the world is wrong?”

She points at the tiniest arachnid ever, which is toddling across the carpet and minding its own damn business.  She’s still shrieking.

“THERE’S A SPIDER!!!!”

At this point I lost my temper a little bit, I admit it– I don’t like horrifying piercing noises first thing in the morning, and drilling my ears for no reason is worse— and I snapped at her– loudly– before I really even realized I was doing it.

“Child, unless that stupid thing has laser beams coming out of its eyes that I need to know about, you’d better leave it alone and get your butt into my classroom before the bell rings.”

And that was it.  I’ve yelled at one kid this year and it referenced spiders shooting laser beams.

I think I can live with it.