In which I get lucky

My wife and I get to see Shazam a little bit early tonight, which is super cool. I kinda lucked out getting the tickets; the folks at the comic shop had an extra pair that a customer had given them to “give to a good home,” and I guess we’re a good home.

I’m spending the day fiddling around the house trying to accomplish minor things– the impending end of my Spring Break is starting to weigh on me a bit– so in lieu of an actual post today, have this Superman/Captain Marvel short comic, which I found on imgur yesterday and am frantically trying to find the source material for because I must own it. “Who did this to you?” is the most Superman reaction ever:

(EDIT: This is from Superman/Shazam: First Thunder, by Judd Winick and Joshua Middleton. It came out in 2006.)

(Oh, what the hell– while I’m at it, these pages from Mark Waid and Alex Ross’ Kingdom Come, one of the best Superman/Captain Marvel stories ever published. Context: it’s in the future, Superman has returned from retirement, and Captain Marvel has been brainwashed into villainy by Lex Luthor, which is why they’re fighting.)

QUICK DECIDE

My wife wants me to watch BATMAN V SUPERMAN with her tonight. Do I liveblog the whole sorry mess of a movie while I’m watching?

Guys I need help

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I can’t decide how much I hate the cape they have Tyler Hoechlin wearing as Superman in Supergirl.  I also can’t believe that sentence makes sense, but it does.  I mean, do I just hate the costume?  Or does it need more than that?  They also got rid of the briefs, which adds to the overall suck.  I might just hate it, but then again it’s possible that I shouldn’t just hate it and despising it is a better use of my time.  I’m really having trouble calibrating my dislike here.

Then again:

Granted, they’re not actually using the Williams score (which I think of as the “right” score) but maybe I can forgive them.

In which I swear I had something for this…

archer_68157At some point last night at OtherJob I wrote an entire blog post in my head.  I was pretty convinced it was a good one, too.  Now it’s 10 AM Sunday morning and the only thing I’ve managed to achieve is a cup of coffee and a shower and I have no idea what in the world I might have gotten into my head to write about.

Let’s grab-bag a couple of things.

1) I think I’ve talked about this before, but I have no intention of purchasing or reading Go Set a Watchman.  I never believed that she actually wanted the book published (this interview with her “editor,” a man who claims he doesn’t know if the book was ever edited and apparently doesn’t realize that planes exist, is terrifyingly shady) and from what I’ve seen from people who have read it, I stand by that decision.

2) The recent footage from Comic-Con from Batman V. Superman has, for the first time, made that movie at least a tiny bit interesting.  I like the idea that Batman’s vendetta against Superman is rooted in losing people in Metropolis when Superman destroyed it.  The shot of Bruce Wayne charging into the onrushing cloud of dust from the collapsed building is great.  (Superheroes?  Saving people?  Crazy!)  Unfortunately, Snyder’s Superman is still a useless, preening dick and in addition to the character assassination of Pa Kent in Super Powered Outer Space Alien 1 he’s now going after Ma Kent in 2.  This continues to be deeply “no thank you” but at least there’s something interesting about it now.

Hmm.  I guess two is a couple.  I’m kind of going nuts over here; my lack of ability to be on vacation and the find-a-job stress is sorta starting to get to me a little.  I expect to be found in the basement chewing on my underwear within a week or so.

On th’ pitcher shows

You remember when your grandpa used to call movies that?  And it was a weirdly redundant phrase, but also oddly comforting?  I miss pitcher shows.

Anyway.  You’ve seen this already:

I had a few things to say about the first trailer, both right after I saw it and after I had some time to think about it.  My main concern, right now, is that the movie’s going to end up being a bit too scary to take my four-year-old to, and taking Kenny to see this movie is literally the main reason I want to see it.  That image yesterday wasn’t a joke.  Now, most of the scary scenes seem to be confined to John Boyega’s Finn character, so I’m hoping that it’s just a few bits from early in the movie.  But look at this:

starwarstheforceawakens_teaser_trailer2_12The bloody handprint– or at least what looks like one– on his helmet has me a bit nervous.  This is a series that managed to burn three characters to a crisp and cut off multiple limbs without getting bloody.  I’m not making doom and gloom proclamations, mind you– it just makes me a teeny bit less likely to take my son to see it.  It’s not going to affect whether do.

(Note: I don’t know whether Finn is in costume for these bits or if he’s actually a Stormtrooper.  I kinda like the idea of a main character being a former Stormtrooper.)

On the good side, and this isn’t in the trailer, there’s this:

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This is the hilt of Kylo Ren’s cross-guarded lightsaber, which caused so much kvetching when the first trailer came out.  I was not happy with the new look for the lightsaber blade (not the crossguards, the blade itself) and said that I’d drop my objection if there seemed to be a story-based reason why the blade looked different.

That saber hilt looks like it was put together by an amateur.  And I note that Kylo Ren’s name does not include the word Darth.  Therefore: objection dropped.

Everything else about the trailer?  Gold.  I’m not super keen on the idea of the Empire and the Rebellion being renamed the First Order and the Resistance, but I’ll roll with that for the time being and it’s not in the trailer anyway.  But yeah, I’m a lot more psyched about this film now than I was for the first teaser.

On the other hand…

Nope.

Noooooope.

One of these days they’ll make a new Superman movie.  Hell, one of these days they’ll make a Batman movie; they haven’t made one of those in like two decades or something.  Make all the movies you want about Angsty Alien No Moral Core Raised by Assholes Dude and Snarling Ninja Bat-Costume Dude, but stop calling those two “Superman” and “Batman.”  Wild fucking dogs couldn’t drag me to see this shit.

(“But, Luther, you were down on the new Star Wars before the second trailer came out, and you seem to have changed your mind!  What makes these different?”)

The entirety of the Nolan Batman films and the horrid piece of shit that was Man of Steel.  Ain’t nothing gonna change in this one.

(“How dare you judge an entire movie on a two-minute trailer!”)

Can we change the subject for a sec and talk about how fucking stupid this is as a line of argument?  Trailers literally only exist to make people want to see things.  They exist to make people judge movies.  They’re put together by the same people who put the movies together.  It’s bullshit to say that you can watch a trailer and go “I want to see that!” but it’s somehow illegitimate to see a trailer and (backed up by the last four entire movies by these idiots) claim that you think it looks like a piece of shit.  And this movie looks like a piece of shit, and is a sequel to a movie that was a piece of shit, and there is no indication that anything has changed.

(“But what about Aquaman?  And Wonder Woman?”)

Okay, Aquaman looks awfully cool and fuckit I’ll be honest by awfully cool I mean amazingly hot:

tumblr_nk2exxju4t1tnt8s9o1_1280That said?  This whole design is more of the what am colors? nonsense that both of these franchises are draped in, and frankly the inclusion of the characters just makes me think the movie is gonna be unwieldy and overstuffed in addition to depressing and stupid.  Be honest: would you really know this was supposed to be Wonder Woman if no one told you in advance?:

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Totally something I wanna spend ten bucks on.

(EDIT:  Just saw this.  How infinitely better is this?  Way infinitely better.)

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