Interior crocodile alligator

(If you don’t understand the post title, don’t worry about it and don’t ask.)

(Also, fun WordPress fact: if you change the size of an image, it will not display as centered once you publish even if it is resized and centered in the editor.)

Just a couple of things right now, mostly so that I can say I actually posted today, now that it’s nine PM: First, I left the house for the third time since all hell broke loose, and had both my wife and my son with me, since we were dropping food off for both of our dads and the boy hasn’t seen either of them in too long. We talked about when the last time the three of us had been in the car together on the way up to my stepfather’s, and determined that it was very likely in February. The trip home from Chicago on our anniversary, specifically. Insane.

I beat Nioh 2 yesterday, which somehow took ninety hours— I am a completist, and wanted to do everything— despite making progress at a pretty damn solid clip. I’m tossing around writing a full review despite having raved about it in a few posts already; suffice it to say it’s a spectacular fucking game; better than the original, I think, which was a game that I absolutely loved. I have been gaming since the Atari 2600 and I think we are reaching the point where the PS4 is my favorite game console I’ve ever owned.

Tomorrow is the last day of Spring Break, which is going to be weird, since I’m still not actually going back to work in any meaningful fashion. I’m going to try and get all of next week’s lessons set up by the end of the day so I can sort of set it and forget it; we’ll see how well that works. Anybody have suggestions on how to teach stats to 8th graders remotely? Because right now … yeah, it’s gonna be kind of challenging.

I am also going to try and get something up on Patreon tomorrow. Stop laughing, goddammit.


9:07 PM, Sunday April 12th: 555,398 confirmed infections; 22,023 American deaths.

A brief thought concerning corporal punishment

I basically forgot to blog today. I’ve done an astonishingly good job avoiding the Internet across the board beyond what was necessary to get my last little bit of grading done before Spring Break– yeah, I’m on Spring Break, somehow– and other than the couple of hours it took to do that I’ve basically either had my nose in a book or been sitting in front of the PS4. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday where I can’t leave the house, mind you, but I seriously just had a sort of “internet? what?” moment a bit ago.

We have decided to watch the entire Fast and Furious series while I am home, by the way. Right now we’re about 20 minutes into the first one and literally every object on the screen looks like it was filmed separately on a greenscreen. I don’t understand why this movie looks so terrible. I may end up having to livetweet a few of these, we’ll see.

Anyway.

Something occurred to me tonight as we were putting the boy to bed, and this is going to be one of those lead-ins where the lead-in is longer than the actual point of the post– but I swat my kid on the ass as a joke all the time, right? I’ve never spanked him, literally never laid a finger on him in anger, and neither has my wife. But I swat the kid on the ass as a joke all the time, particularly as I’m putting him to bed. Most nights end with a hug and a swat on the ass. And tonight, for no particular reason, I swatted him a little harder than usual, to the point where I noticed it. Did he? No. Not at all. He squealed like he usually does– it’s part of the game, basically– but if he had any idea that I’d swatted him any harder than I usually do he didn’t react to it.

Now, again, I’ve never spanked him and never hit him with the intent to hurt him. Not once. And the thought that floated through my head and triggered this piece is that if I did decide I was going to spank my kid, with the intent of it being painful and in some way theoretically modifying and/or punishing his behavior, I would have to hit him harder than I have ever hit anyone before. Which, okay, isn’t saying a lot, as while I’ve broken up dozens of fights over the years I haven’t been in one since fourth grade– but …

Yeah. I’m not doing that to my son.

That’s all.

On temporary and uncharacteristic bursts of optimism

giphy

I was entertained– this is genuine, I’m not trying to be passive-aggressive here– at how little attention my post about Sekiro got the other day.  Clearly there isn’t a huge audience around here for wild technical musings about video games unless I’m complaining (complaining always gets attention).  That said, we’re invoking the My Blog My Rules Goddammit covenant here, because my ass beat Genichiro Ashina earlier today, a feat that somehow only twenty-five percent of the players of this game have managed in the nine days since it came out, and I am damned proud of myself.  So: booyah, motherfuckers.

ALSO!  I have put new stuff on my Patreon twice in the last few days after ignoring it (and pausing charges to my Patrons; I don’t take your money if I don’t give you anything in return) for a couple of months.  There have been two first chapters of old, abandoned projects put up– neither of those ever got finished, but if people like what they see in those first chapters, maybe I’ll revisit them.  Remember, $2 a month gets you a whole book.  We like books, right?

Today’s the first day of Spring Break, and while we don’t have any real plans for the week I have high hopes that I’ll get something done for the two conventions I’ll be going to this April– a new banner, at least, since the old ones are getting a little raggedy(*).  I have been completely dry as far as writing fiction goes for all of 2019, basically, and dammit I’m gonna fix that this week.  We’re gonna get something creative accomplished up in here if it kills me.  And it’s not gonna kill me.

This is gonna be a big week, dammit.  Big.

(*) ConGlomeration in Louisville, April 19-21, and LaffyCon in Lafayette on April 27 and 28.  Are you near either of them?  Come see me!  I actually have some free tickets for LaffyCon, if anyone’s nearby and wants ’em.

Spring breeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkk

I expect to spend 80% of the next nine days in this chair, and if I have to leave the house more than, oh, four times I will be upset.

Too tired to think right now; reg’lar bloggery resumes tomorrow.

Title!

Screen Shot 2019-03-26 at 7.00.49 PMThis isn’t going to be a post about Avengers: Endgame— it’s not going to be a post about much of anything, to be completely honest– but I wanted to take a second and point out that Thor has two different colored eyes now, which I think is a nice touch.  I had figured that Rocket giving him the prosthetic eye in Infinity War was a way to keep all of Chris Hemsworth’s(*) pretty face on screen at once and that they’d just decided not to worry about him losing an eye in Thor: Ragnarok, but apparently they haven’t completely forgotten about it.

I want lots of jokes from Rocket about stealing body parts in Endgame.

I haven’t mentioned it, but I’ve actually been on Sorta Spring Break for the last two days, the first two days of my son’s Spring Break, which I had to take off because as usual neither my wife nor I are very bright and we failed to secure alternate childcare.  I’m back to work Wednesday through Friday and then I get my own Spring Break, and I’ll have him with me for all of that.  Thus far, Spring Break 2019 has been … uninspiring.  There’s been lots of The Amazing Adventures of Gumball and video games.  We might go to the zoo a couple of times next week, which will be about as exciting as it gets.  There will be reading; I haven’t read enough books in March so I need to get a good head start on April.  Maybe even some writing if I get completely crazy, but don’t hold your breath.

There’s an actual post– with content! up on Patreon, for those of you for whom that is significant.  Normally this is the part where I’d recommend you join us over there, but I haven’t been updating it much lately and frankly feel like I’ve been mistreating my Patrons.  But there’s something new over there, and there will be at least two more posts before March is over.  So if you’re already a Patron, go check that out, and maybe comment if the mood strikes you, and if you’re not … well, $2 a month still gets you a whole book.  That’s not nothing, right?

(*) Whose name I originally rendered as “Hemingsworth,” because my brain’s a touch on the melty side at the moment, and which my spell checker caught and properly corrected.  Which, honestly, weirds me out a bit.