Every place where the employees have to spend all day on their feet should have access to $5,000 massage chairs that do foot massages.  Because holy shit.

I have determined that five minutes in The Chair at the end of each shift is now a perk of my job.  I have never really been a Massage Person because I dislike people who I can’t see touching me.  This dislike apparently does not apply to mechanical objects.  Like, it’s two hours later, and I’m at home in my shitty La-Z-Boy recliner, and I can still feel the damn thing working my lower back.  Highly recommended.  If Trump made getting one of these things for every American family a campaign promise I’d vote for him.  Bernie Sanders would be all like “Fuck free college, just give errbody a chair.”  Clinton would promise one too and then everyone would get all shitty and accuse her of pandering to the “likes good things” demographic.  That good.

In other news, it’s been confirmed that my training wheels come off on Monday, so I’ve only got a couple more days of training left.  The last couple have been really intense compared to last week, and tomorrow and Friday promise to be even worse.  Still having fun, though.  I like the feeling of having a shitton of stuff I’m supposed to learn and absorb, and I think I’m doing a decent job at it so far.  But I’m still ready to kick those trainers off.  Just a few more days.