Throw away the whole bucket list

We went to the county 4-H Fair today, and for the first time in my life I tried deep-fried Oreos.

I think that it’s probably okay if I die now. Not because they were, like, delicious or anything, but because I have been suffering for the last few hours and I think it’s best if I am never in circumstances where I might put one of those things into my body again.

“Still alive” counts as a circumstance, I think.

Also, I rode a ride with my son, a ride that turned out to have an extra chest belt that I didn’t notice, and when I pointed out to the guy running the ride that there was no universe where the thing was going to fit me, he shrugged and said “You OK?” and then walked away.

I didn’t fall out of the ride, so I guess I was OK, but … is this how we do things now?

In which I go outdoors on purpose

The Internet was down, meaning there was no TV either (we get everything through Hulu or Netflix), so we decided to go outside and somehow ended up at the 4-H fair.  A few random observations that really ought to have pictures with them but somehow don’t:

  • There was a giraffe.  At the petting zoo.  There should always always always be giraffes. Everywhere.  Especially at petting zoos.
  • After a while, though, watching the giraffe became less fun than watching the people walking by who were consistently surprised by the giraffe.  I heard “Is that a giraffe?” probably ten times from people who knew damn well what a giraffe looks like but couldn’t process the fact that there was one right the hell in front of them.
  • There were tigers doing tricks, but they were really not in the mood for them and so it was kind of sad and slightly embarrassing.  As far as I know, no one was eaten, though.
  • The boy really really really likes merry-go-rounds.  I like merry-go-rounds less than I thought I would; turns out that when you’re standing next to your toddler they make you crazily dizzy.
  • Saw no less than 12 students.  Luckily, only four of the twelve saw me, and all four seemed happy to do so.  Considering that the last time I saw one of them I was hollering for our resource officer to put him in handcuffs that percentage is probably a good thing.
  • I bought no food, which means that the gyro I had for lunch is the grossest thing I ate today, which is probably as it should be.
  • I had no idea that rabbits could even get that big, holy shit.
  • Pissed-off pigs are scary.  Pissed-off goats are hilarious.

All in all whee fun would pay $8 again.