Anxiety dump

On November 11, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, Teaching1 Comment

My lovely little vacation is about to end— not the one that had me at my aunt’s house yesterday, where I somehow left during the summer and returned during the winter, because that happened— but my three weeks between jobs. Tomorrow afternoon we move my stuff into my classroom, and I officially start on Monday.

And if I’m being honest, I’ve not been this nervous about starting at a new school since I lived in Chicago. I don’t feel like I know nearly enough about the building to be starting on Monday, and while I don’t want to get into shit-talking before I even start, I feel unprepared in a way that is specifically alarming about the quality of leadership– admin and otherwise– in the building. To be specific, I’ve requested access to their teacher handbook at least half a dozen times and from multiple people, and not only have I not been given access to any such thing, no one has even acknowledged the request. In other words, I’ve asked three different people “Can you send me the teacher handbook?” and I haven’t gotten “not until you start here” or “we don’t have one” or “Yes, I’ll do that” from any of the three, it’s just been as if I haven’t asked the question at all. So right now I know not a single thing about how any procedures at all work in the building. I finally got access to attendance today, so I know my schedule, but I have never seen a bell schedule, so I don’t know when, say, fourth hour actually is. I don’t know if there’s any particular places I’m supposed to be in the morning or at dismissal.

It’s alarming. Like, this is information I need, and furthermore it’s information they want me to have. I’m supposed to see the principal tomorrow so I’ll be able to ask her in person, but I should’ve had this weeks ago.

The other thing? I’m letting my head get into this stupid place where maybe I’ve only allowed myself to think that I’m a good teacher for the last two decades because I’ve been teaching at mostly shitty schools for my entire career! Like, I don’t want to be the guy who spends the next three months saying “Oh, at my old district we said bleh, and now at this district you say blah,” but I have this weird and likely entirely inaccurate feeling that I have a whole lot of really bad habits— what are they? I dunno!– that I’m going to have to unlearn, and I’m worried that I’m going to have to start submitting 20 pages of lesson plans every week or some shit like that, which is … massively unlikely.

Oh, and I have to learn Canvas, which is vastly annoying, because right now I don’t know it at all.

It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine. But I’m already stuck in a world where I left town for 24 hours and I feel like I was gone a month, and next week is going to be an enormously long week even in the best-case scenario. So maybe that nap I took this afternoon wasn’t a bad idea after all.

On Ron DeSantis

On November 10, 2022November 10, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn Politics2 Comments

If he decides to run for President in 2024, he’s an utter fucking idiot.

I’m at my aunt’s house overnight, and CNN or MSNBC has been on for literally every second I’ve been in the house, so I’ve watched more TV in the last six hours than in the last six weeks. And there’s been a lot of chatter about the coming civil war in the Republican Party between the shitgibbon and Ron DeSantis.

DeSantis is— holy shit— only 44 years old, and he’s a moron if he runs in 2024. Why? Because assuming he hasn’t had the stroke or heart attack that he so richly deserves or been locked in jail until he dies, DeSantis will have to get past the shitgibbon to get the nomination. There is every chance that if he wins that that stupid orange bastard will keep running against him anyway just out of spite, and he’ll lose.

If he waits until 2028, he will be 50– still young. And, very likely, one of two things will have happened: either Joe Biden will have finished his second term, or the shitgibbon will have finished his. Taking up the mantle as the party’s heir apparent in 2028 makes much more sense than trying it in ‘24.

Now, of course, there’s talk that Biden won’t run again. If that happens all bets are off, but for better or for worse I don’t think it’s likely. Hell, I don’t want the guy in office anyway, and for my money the best possible result would be for DeSantis to win the ‘24 R primary and then the shitgibbon to decide to run as an independent. We’d win 45 states and it would be fucking hilarious. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is objectively stupid for him to run in 2024. Keep fucking Florida, dude.

A couple of FYIs

On November 9, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, lifeLeave a comment

I have been injecting Twitter directly into my fucking veins for roughly 24 hours now, in between games of God of War: Ragnarök and ferrying my wife and child around, and I’m at the point where I don’t even care who wins for everything else (except for Boebert Boebert must go God damn it stop teasing me) any longer because I don’t feel like I have the right to ask for much more than we’ve already got. I’m going to be out of town tomorrow night because my dad and I are running some stuff up to my aunt in Michigan, so I’ve got my shit recorded through Saturday afternoon.

I am starting to have some concerns about next week, as we get closer to the actual start date. I feel like I don’t know nearly enough about how things are supposed to work in this building and, weirdly, I can’t get anyone to send me any information. Like, I don’t even have a class schedule yet. I have asked multiple people for a staff manual and the request hasn’t even been acknowledged. It’s starting to piss me off, frankly. Help me be good at my job, please.

Anyway. Good chance of no post tomorrow, or maybe a picture or two, but I’ll be back on Friday and then the cascading anxiety disorder can take over. Excited? So am I.

It is 10:30

On November 8, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn PoliticsLeave a comment

…and I have not yet lost my mind.

I’ll take it.

Tomorrow

On November 7, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn Politics1 Comment

There’s a midterm election tomorrow; you may have heard about it. I voted a couple of weeks ago and other than maybe to get a Covid booster in advance of starting my new job next week and running the boy to and from school I don’t plan to leave the house. I make no predictions about anything at all other than strongly suspecting that virtually no one I, personally, voted for will win. Frankly, if anybody I voted for other than my School Board candidate (who is the incumbent and thus can be presumed to be the favorite) it will mean that the Democrats are having a spectacular night.

I would like a spectacular night, but … well, you know what my faith in America looks like right now.

I plan to spend as much of the day either away from the internet or recording Bloodborne episodes— I’m not going to be done airing them by the time God of War: Ragnarok comes out, but I’d like to have the recording finished by then. Once the polls close around here I will probably begin the process of slowly losing my mind, so go find me on Twitter, unless I manage to aggravate Elon Musk into banning me tonight.

Maybe ought to take a brain pill tonight, too, while I’m at it. In the meantime … I don’t have to tell you to make sure you vote tomorrow, right?

A brief update on the status of my wallet

On November 6, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, life1 Comment

We put in new carpeting last week; you know that if you’ve been around much. Since then we have decided to radically rearrange all of the public-presenting rooms of the house; the former dining room has become a reading room, the “fireplace room” that we never really settled on a name for is due to become a dining room as soon as our dining table is no longer three feet deep in books, I have a meeting tomorrow with someone about custom shelving in the living room, and another meeting with someone else about some minor renovations in the former-dining-room-now-reading-room, and tonight we went out and bought a new sofa. We got it as a three-piece, so it’s a sofa with a chaise and not the wraparound sectional that you see there, but it’s in that charcoal color and I love it.

I may need a second job.

Station Identification, Nov. 5 2022

On November 5, 2022 By Luther M. SilerIn Blogwanking1 Comment

This used to be a whole thing that I did every week, and I got out of the habit several years ago, when it stopped being as important to me that everyone who follows me here also follows me everywhere else. However, I figure that what with the entire social media universe in complete upheaval at the moment, it’s probably useful to start doing it again at least occasionally.

Note that my Linktree has convenient links to literally every single one of these places if you’d like to just click on that and save yourself trouble, but I’m going to go through everything anyway.

The big one is my blog, infinitefreetime.com, and you’re already here unless you’re looking at this through some sort of RSS thing, and I don’t even know if you can do that. The blog turns 10 next year, I own it, and while I go through periods of more and less frequent posting, I’m not going anywhere, and coming here will be the most reliable place to find me for the foreseeable future.
Second most-active is my YouTube gaming channel, lutherplaysgames.com. I almost shut this down once and then decided against it, and right now I’m back to having fun with it. It’s also the account that I’m most interested in growing, so if you aren’t subscribed you really should go click on it. You’ve got a YouTube account already even if you’re not using it so you may as well subscribe to me. 🙂
I still have ten thousand followers on Twitter and still post there regularly, although that follower count has dropped by a few hundred this week due to Shenanigans. Be aware that my Twitter is considerably more profane and more political than my presence here, if that’s something that might bother you, although I also do a lot of book discovery over there. I will genuinely miss Twitter if it dies.
I don’t post on TikTok as often as I used to but I’m still reasonably active over there and it’s still a huge Goddamn time sink.
Everyone should follow me on Goodreads even though I don’t use the social features there at all. Just, like, do it. I have 712 friends over there and they all found me. I don’t know anywhere near 712 people.
I just started a Discord server today, just for the hell of it. There’s really nothing there at the moment but that link will allow anyone to join if they want, assuming I set it up correctly.
OKAY THIS ONE I’M SERIOUS ABOUT: I just started playing with Duolingo recently and while it’s not quite a social media network, if you’re using it I’d love some more friends. Right now I’m doing Spanish, Japanese, Arabic and Welsh simultaneously and I’m enjoying the hell out of myself.
I have also started accounts on Mastodon and Tribel, and right now I don’t know a Goddamn thing about either of them and Tribel in particular looks like it’s going to be something I quickly walk away from, but those seem to be the two most common destinations for Twitter refugees at the moment so I’m giving them a shot. If you’re over there, hit me up.