So close, and yet so far

Tngbbs44525015978cchis post started out as a full review of the book I just read.  Not quite a pan, although the review was definitely going to be focused more on the things I didn’t like about the book than the things that I did like.  And about halfway through the post it occurred to me that I really have nothing to gain by shitting on a book that, again, I mostly liked except for the part where I didn’t.  I interact with the author on Twitter from time to time and he’s an entertaining guy; making myself look clever by tearing into his book seems more than a little unnecessary.  But I still want to write about it, so I’m just going to do this instead.  I’m not going to name the book, but the picture is a clue and there are ways on the Internet to figure out what I’ve been reading lately if you’re really curious.

Here’s the problem: The book is good until it isn’t, and the place where it abruptly becomes not-good is literally the last page of the book, and the not-goodness occurs in such a way as to throw every problem with the first couple hundred pages of the book into sharp and stark relief.  I finished the book before going to sleep last night, and I damn near tossed it across the room after reading the last page.  I finished the thing, thought “My God, that was dumb,” thought about it some more, realized that the idea of what had happened was actually pretty clever but that the execution of it was abominable, and then literally mentally walked myself through the entire rest of the book going “Yeah, that was a problem too, wasn’t it?”

One paragraph literally screwed up my opinion of the entire rest of the book, by throwing my brain out of story-enjoying mode and into writer-editor mode.  There are plenty of people who read everything with an editor’s eye; my wife is one of them.  It’s a perfectly acceptable way to read fiction; I just don’t happen to read that way.  But once my brain gets shifted into writer-editor mode, it’s nearly impossible to get it out of that, and I’m going to go at the rest of your book in a sort of God this could be so much better if… mode that I really don’t like doing my pleasure reading in.  And this was timed in the worst possible place, where it retroactively poisoned my entire opinion of the book.

Has this ever happened to you?  Has the ending of a book ever screwed up your opinion of the rest of it?  Because right now if people ask me about this book, I have to say “Read it, but ignore the last chapter.”  And I don’t want to do that.

(Don’t say Skylights.  Please don’t say Skylights.)

(Actually, go ahead and say Skylights if Skylights did that to you.  But be aware that I will cry.)

Someone explain this to me

Screen Shot 2015-02-14 at 9.02.09 PM

This graph.

Make it make sense.

‘Cuz I don’t get it.

Proof of life, I suppose

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life gone from “didn’t know I was sick” to “calling in to work” faster than I did Thursday morning.  I literally woke up, turned my head, and reached for my phone to pull up the SubFinder app.  I don’t know who broke into my skull during the night and replaced my brain with a billion shards of broken glass, but as soon as I turned said head all those shards of glass went straight into my eyes and my forehead.  The decision was instantaneous.  

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I think I stayed awake long enough to text my wife, who wasn’t in the room, that I wasn’t going to work and not to wake me back up, and that was it: I was out, completely, until after 1:00 PM, and spent most of the rest of the day bouncing back and forth between “napping” and “wishing I was dead.”  I got up for a few minutes when Bek came home for lunch, ate something, and promptly lost it about 15 minutes later.  Yesterday was marginally better, enough so that by the time evening rolled around I went out for my wife’s birthday dinner with my family but not better enough that I went to work.  Today I’d call myself 85% human.  I’ll take it.

Outside, we’re having another blizzard.  It’s not going to accumulate much, I don’t think, but it’s blowy as hell and there have been several times already today where I’ve looked out my front door and been unable to see the foot of my driveway.  A neighboring county has basically ordered everyone but emergency vehicles off the road, although ours isn’t that bad yet.  So cabin fever gets to be something that I can look forward to for the rest of the weekend.

Let’s see.  What else is going on?

  • I am trying very hard not to rant about the upcoming ISTEP test.  Very very hard.  Two main reasons: one, it’s mostly inside baseball to anyone who doesn’t live in Indiana, and two, it’s too bound up in what is rapidly becoming life-crisis levels of disaffection with my career.  Once I get started, I’m not going to be able to stop, and I’m just not willing to go there yet.
  • I still owe those of you who may be interested a post on Amazon ads.  I don’t know that I had officially stopped the advertising campaign the last time I’d mentioned it, but I have by now, and describing the program as “completely useless” is the literal, non-hyperbolic, using-literal-to-mean-literal-and-not-figurative truth.
  • I am in possession of the final cover, text and all, for THE BENEVOLENCE ARCHIVES, VOL. 2: THE SANCTUM OF THE SPHERE.  I am hugely excited about it and I am doing my best to sit on it for a while longer because the book doesn’t launch until April 28th and I’m trying to save some surprises for closer to release date.  My alphas are supposed to be getting back to me in about two weeks; I’ve heard good rumblings from a few of them but nothing official yet.
  • The Internet has, in general, been destroying my will to live lately.  I’m working on that, though.  Partially by about tripling my daily dose of Vitamin D.  Hopefully you can’t actually overdose on that shit.
  • I did my taxes, or at least mostly did my taxes.  Bad news: I owe thousands of dollars.  Good news: I knew I was going to owe thousands of dollars (getting a $10K grant will do that) and I actually owe less than the number of thousands of dollars that I’d set aside to pay for taxes, so at the moment it’s sorta like getting a refund, and that’s before I really start looking carefully at deductions.  So, yay for financial planning, I guess?

Whassupwitchu this weekend?

RECAP: The Walking Dead, S05E09, “What Happened and What’s Going On”

This was an outstanding episode, people. Check out my recap, over at Sourcerer.

Luther M. Siler's avatarSourcerer

the-walking-dead-poster-season-5I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating, because I don’t imagine y’all actually memorize my posts or anything: part of the reason that these recaps run the day before a new episode airs is that I am a cord-cutter.  I get The Walking Dead through iTunes, meaning that I pay $45 or whatever it is at the beginning of the season and then I watch the shows a day later than everyone else.  I can’t watch a new episode before Monday night unless my wife and I get up godawful early in the morning (which, I’ll admit, we’ve done a couple of times) and so it’s just not possible to get a post up before Tuesday, at which point we may as well wait until Saturday.

What this means is that I have to be careful to avoid spoilers on Sunday night and through the day Monday, mostly meaning…

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A .gif is worth a thousand words

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I have been asleep…

…for something like eighteen of the last twenty-four hours. And I do not expect to be any more functional tomorrow.

In which I employ people

IMG_2367I think one of my favorite things about being a “small business owner” is the junk mail.  This was attached to a rather thick catalog full of office supplies that I have to imagine cost at least a few bucks to print and mail.  Sorry, dude; it’s just me, and there’s a Target like right over there.

 

REBLOG: The 4 horrors of book-lending

No, you cannot borrow my books. Why? They are more important to me than you are.

taylorgraceauthor's avatarTaylor Grace

Today, someone at DayJob commented on how much they’d like to try a book by Linda Howard.

Then, they pointedly looked at the book in my hands (by Linda Howard) and asked if I was done with it.

I was done alright. But I wasn’t letting that book out of my hands. Not only is Linda Howard one of my favourite authors, I’ve lent out books in the past and horrible things have happened.

Allow me to explain the insufferable horrors and my reactions.

HORROR #1.

They broke the spine or tore pages.

I read my books and hold them like cherished babies. Nothing gets folded or disrupted. If people break any part of them from the spine to the pages, I cry.

Reaction: I cursed all their ancestors and wished they were geckos.

HORROR #2.

They spilled something on it.

I don’t care if it’s water (and it usually isn’t)…

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