On used book sales and TERRIBLE LIES

On January 28, 2015January 28, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Writing6 Comments

I just discovered this. Clicky to make with big:

You may be anticipating that I’m about to go on a rant about people reselling my books– or trying to resell my books– for several times what they’re actually selling for.

But no! That is not this post. I don’t actually care if people resell used copies of my books. I am, in fact, quite fond of used bookstores.

Here’s the thing, though.

I know exactly how many copies SKYLIGHTS has sold in paperback.

And– and I’ll admit that this is just the tiniest bit depressing– not only do I know exactly how many copies the book has sold, but I know who bought them. I have accounted for literally every copy. So these booksellers are advertising wildly inflated prices for used books that they do not actually possess.

I’m tempted to order them, wait to see if my sales increment, and then cancel the purchase.

I can’t tell if this is a scam– who would buy this book used for that much of a markup?– or if it’s just the result of bots trolling through Amazon, but either way it entertains me.

Another!

On August 19, 2014March 29, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Writing2 Comments

This is the second day in a row, and the third out of the last five, that I’ve gotten mail from these people. This one was addressed to both my real name and my pen name. Honestly, I wouldn’t have mentioned it this time around, but 1) they cunningly dodged my new “don’t even bother opening their mail” policy by sending me a postcard this time and 2) they include numbers that give some insight into just what a shitty deal their original “Ultimate Publishing Package” is.

I won’t be mentioning them again unless it’s really entertaining. But nonetheless:

Here we learn that they want to charge you $237 to print a hundred copies of a fifty-page book. The original cost, remember, was $1600, less a $601 “discount,” to $999. Of course, no one anywhere actually writes fifty-page books, and if I were to self-pub Skylights through them it would cost me an additional $746 on top of the not-actually-$999-it’s-really-$1118.40 cost that their “Ultimate Publishing Package” entails.

In other words, $1864.40– nearly two thousand damn dollars— for a hundred physical copies of a book that I’ll never be able to move and a bunch of other services that I can either a) do for myself because they’re free or b) when bought in bulk, which this company is certainly doing, are minimal in cost.

That is a lot of profit, kids.

Then again, they spend a lot on postage.

Okay, seriously, that’s enough now.

On August 19, 2014August 18, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Writing4 Comments

This is from the same fuckers who wanted a thousand dollars from me last week to do some shit that I could do for myself for free. This person appears to not be aware that they sent me the previous letter, and holy shit they’re not even trying. I hate this company a lot.

I will not turn the page over. I also will not even open the next letter.

On scammery

On August 16, 2014August 16, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Writing4 Comments

Got this in the mail yesterday. Fascinatingly, it was sent to Luther Siler— who, remember, isn’t a real person– at my actual physical address. The number of organizations that can pair his name with my address are… limited. And I am not happy with them.

This is page 3 of a three-page letter; I’m not going to bother reproducing the first two. If you happen to get this in the mail, you should throw it the hell away.

Before we start, the first page is a fake check for $601. Their “Ultimate Publishing Package” costs $1600, meaning that with their “discount” you’re only spending nine hundred and ninety-nine dollars of your money– before they make you a single dime, and as we’ll see it’s going to be more than that anyway.

Let’s walk through this “offer” bit by bit, shall we?

100 Printed Copies of Your Book. This is the meat of the offer, because printed copies of books are expensive. A thousand dollars divided by a hundred copies is only $10 each! Except paperbacks generally cost $7-8 to buy, and… oh, wait, if you look at the description, this is assuming your book is only fifty pages long, and books longer than that will incur additional costs. Skylights was about 450 pages; most genre novels nowadays are in the 300 range at least. I’m guessing by the time the additional charges are added in for your $10, 50-page book, you’re only getting 20-25 of them if you don’t cough up more money. Why am I assuming that the rest of their services wouldn’t cost money? Because most of them don’t. Note that there is no mention of shipping cost, which I have no doubt will be passed on to you. Continue on:
Cover Design. Okay, this can be expensive, I’ll admit. But they include no examples of their work, and I’m guessing that it’s going to be shoddy based on the rest of the flyer.
Interior Page Layout. Not actually that hard, and takes an hour.
ISBN Number with Bar Code. If you’re buying ISBNs in small batches, they can be expensive– I spent $295 for a batch of 10. Left out of this is that this organization is probably buying them in batches of 1000 or 10,000 at significantly lower cost– and that it lists them as your publisher, since they own the ISBN. Bar code registration is, like, $15.
Library of Congress Control Number. Free.
Publicity Kit. Costs some money, but not much; note that no information about paper quality or color is given, and note that this shit is just mailed to you, probably charging you for shipping in the process. I don’t know who the hell I might mail five hundred goddamn postcards to about my book, and the types of people who use this sort of service are not likely to be doing in-store signings where they might pass out bookmarks.
One National Press Release. Note that you write the press release, and that that’s all it is– just a press release, which compels no one to write about your shitty little book. I looked up costs at PRWeb, and for one person buying one “Standard” press release is $159. I am certain that their costs are substantially cheaper.
Author Website (Plus One Year’s Hosting). This is especially hilarious; they’ll set up a WordPress site for you! Wow! That’s free! And a year of hosting at GoDaddy will run you next to nothing, especially since they’re probably registering an impossibly specific domain name that no one wants. Note that they don’t promise a .com site; just a “custom URL.”
Online Bookstore Set-up. They’ll “list” your book on their site, pay you 80% of sales, and charge you $9.95 a month to maintain a fucking link. So the minimum cost of this “Ultimate Publishing Package” just went from $999 to $1118.40, assuming your “book” is only fifty goddamn pages long. This is pretty clearly a POD outfit, so there is literally nothing being stored in their “warehouse.”
The Square (credit card reader system for smartphones.) Is free! Go ahead, sign up for one here.
Expert Consultation and Personal Project Manager. They have a phone line; you can call a dude. They have a curious definition of “unlimited basis,” too, since I’m pretty certain if I need my Personal Project Manager at three in the morning he ain’t gonna answer the phone.