Welp.

Looks like we’re gonna die. I’ll miss you all.

In which HOLY SHITBALLS

JESUS FUCK WALKING DEAD JUST KILL ME WHY DON’T YOU

In which I work miracles

headdeskOkay, y’all.  Remember that to-do list I mentioned on Friday?  No?  Too bad, because this is it.  Some names changed to protect the innocent.

❏ Check (other teacher’s) data files
❏ Check pencil sharpeners
❏ Clean classroom
❏ Complete new Dropbox folders
❏ Create email roster for Parent Night
❏ Create/print textbook number rosters for each class
❏ Decouple 6th grade folder from dropbox
❏ Determine how math grades work– two classes, one grade?
❏ Determine which curriculum maps belong to Algebra class
❏ Email (yearbook lady) WRT yearbook
❏ Email staff about new Dropbox stuff
❏ Extra set of clothes for parent night
❏ Figure out DC fundraiser
❏ Figure out DC meeting
❏ Figure out the rest of the letters
❏ Figure out/arrange desks
❏ Find 7th grade workbooks
❏ Find some sort of bell-ringer book
❏ Find/count textbooks
❏ Finish student folders
❏ Get dates/schedule into lesson plan book
❏ Make sure we have a new yearbook advisor
❏ Mount whiteboard
❏ Move computer files over to my new account
❏ Nail bookshelf back together
❏ Organize file folders
❏ Print and bind algebra curriculum map
❏ Print out rosters– demerits, tardies, homeroom collectibles
❏ Print packets for Parent Night
❏ Pull one computer out from under table
❏ Put student birthdays on calendars
❏ Read through and mark up discipline plan
❏ Schedule union meeting for next week
❏ Seating charts???
❏ Talk to (four other teachers) about Success spreadsheet
❏ Track down potential new union members
❏ Track down union people
❏ Update data files for 2013-14
❏ Update materials/rules/discipline policy if necessary
❏ Update Teacher Assistant
❏ Write first day letter/email collection letter
❏ Write lesson plans for 1st three days of school
❏ Write sub/emergency plans
❏ Write syllabus for Algebra

Note that even though some things seem to be duplicates, they’re really not.  For example, “figure out desks” and “seating charts???” are two completely different activities– one is determining where to put the desks in the room, which is a pedagogical decision involving thinking about lines of sight, management, grouping, and other considerations (not to mention aesthetics) and another is purely a management decision– I’ve gone two years without a seating chart in any of my classes, but at least one of my groups I think is going to demand one.  Two of them, I think, can handle non-assigned seats.

I think only one item on the list is genuinely optional.  Maybe two.  Everything else needs to be done by 5 PM on Tuesday because that’s when Parent Night starts, and school starts on Wednesday.

You will forgive me if this is the only post today.  I have things to do.

Okay, stop the world, I’m getting off

Ladies and gentlemen!

I give you… the internet.