Oh god damn it

hand-holding-i-give-up-signSo.

I have made $2500 in commission on my sales this year.  This year.  Six weeks.  I did the math; I’m selling furniture for less than $11 an hour.  The company is currently earning interest on sixty thousand dollars of undelivered product.  I don’t get paid until shit ends up in people’s homes and everything I’ve sold is either still backordered or waiting for someone’s house to be ready.  Right now I expect to make minimum wage this week.  If I wasn’t married to someone who makes a lot more money than me, I’d be staring down homelessness right now.

I had a $12,000 ticket last weekend that didn’t earn me a single dime and won’t pay off until May.  That big $18,000 sale at the very end of December?  Scheduled to deliver on March 20th, still five weeks away; I don’t see a cent until then.

I was at work for nine hours today and sold $13 worth of product.  A co-worker came in on his day off and made $3300 in sales in less than half an hour.

Fuck this.  I could literally be making more money flipping burgers.

I just applied for a teaching position.

God fucking help me.

Wait, what?

I checked Twitter before leaving work, after an incredibly busy and yet almost entirely non-lucrative day, and “golden showers” was trending, and it involves a person who is, apparently, supposedly going to be President?

I cannot.  I cannot even.  Not tonight.  Sorry.  Have a music video. 

Motherfucking water


Motherfucking rain motherfucking crawl space motherfucking al gore motherfuck fuckery fucking fuck.