Come on, guys. It’s okay. It’s your old pal Luther, here. You can admit it. This is all one giant, decades-long piss-take, right?
I finished Book Eight of this nonsense last night, nearly seven hundred pages in which absolutely nothing happens until the last twenty pages and then not much happens in the climax. I am going to finish this series this year, powered by pure spite and nothing else, and you should all be very proud of me for how little whining I have done about it here. Even if you feel like I’ve complained about these books a lot, you have no idea how much I have held back. Book Eight begins what even fans of the series call “The Slog.” Or maybe it’s Book Seven! They can’t agree.
I owe the publishers of the book I’m reading now a review, and I’m really wondering if I’m not being fair to the new book by putting it after a WoT book. Because oh man did I go straight to I Bet It Would Be Fun to Annotate This and Rip It to Shreds mode.
Anyway. For the record, I genuinely don’t care if you’ve enjoyed these books or not, and there are multiple people I really respect (such as, for example, my actual wife) who are fans of them, I just … I don’t get it, and I don’t think I ever will at this point. I’m still finishing the God damned things one way or another, though.
Had a weird moment during my prep/lunch period at work today, where a whole bunch of shit all piled up on me at once and I damn near had a meltdown over a bizarre assortment of objectively minor inconveniences. I’m still not used to the new glasses. I made bad lunch decisions, and on top of that I was given a Diet Coke instead of a Coke, or maybe it was just super low on syrup. I’ve bitten my lower lip in the exact same spot roughly seventy times in the last few days. My classroom hasn’t been vacuumed in several days, and the cruft that is still on the floor is resistant to my broom. And the anxiety over this summer school thing continues to ramp up; I looked a little bit more closely at what little information I have and I’m now definitively convinced they’ve handed me two grades at the same time.(*) And probably a few other things that I’m not remembering at the moment. And … man. I managed to work my way out of it before the kids showed up, which was good, especially since I had to double up my advisory again. Nobody wants Mr. Siler to lose his mind and go home early during the last week of school, especially since I just remembered another one of those little inconveniences and it was being handed yet another piece of essential paperwork that I needed to do about taking the last day of school off– which, remember, I told my boss about in January.
One good thing is I do think I’ve actually convinced myself that next year’s eighth graders should be fine. There’s still a billion ways that could go wrong, and my partner teacher continues to stubbornly refuse to admit that she’s jumping to the high school next year.
I would appreciate knowing something about anything involving the next few months within the next couple of days, thanks.
(*) Does this mean that both groups are tiny, and I’ll have a tiny group? Or are both groups normal sized, and I’ll have a huge group? What even is a huge group in this context, since they’ve told us nothing about the kids we have coming? Am I doing math and reading for both groups– so four preps in three hours? Is anyone ever going to respond to any of my emails?
There’s a new Pearl Jam album out this week, and unless something has gone very wrong, by the time you see this I should be sitting in the dark with a bunch of other flannel-clad nineties dorks listening to it. They’re doing this limited-engagement one-night-only movie theater thing, where they play the album, which is called Dark Matter, in complete darkness, and then play it again with what they’re calling “mesmerizing visuals.” So by the time I get home, I’ll have heard it twice, and hopefully I won’t stink of weed or have a headache. We’ll see.
Pearl Jam has been my favorite band for a very, very long time. During that time I have formed Opinions. And I saw a Reddit thread the other day that was asking if you could only keep two tracks from each Pearl Jam album, which ones would they be?
None of you care, I know, and this will absolutely take longer to write than will be worth it– I’m starting it on Monday night– but it’ll be fun, and oh also I have no intention of sticking to two songs, so here we go:
TEN (1991)
Best Song: Black, my favorite song, period. Indispensable Songs: Black, Jeremy, Alive, Release Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: This might be their only album I can name every song from.
Let’s be real: every song on Ten must be kept, but if you put a gun to my head, it’d have to be those four. I could maybe — maybe— do without Oceans. But I can’t.
Vs. (1993)
Best Song: Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town, my second-favorite song. Indispensable Songs: EWBtCiaST, Animal, Daughter, WMA Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Go, because Pearl Jam also has Why Go and it messes with my head.
Vs. is another album that is burned into my head forever and I need damn near every song. I mean, maybe I could lose Glorified G in a pinch, or maybe Leash, but that’s about it.
Vitalogy (1994)
Best Song: Better Man Indispensable Songs: Better Man, Nothingman, Whipping, Corduroy, Bugs Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Stupid Mop, which I swear to God and sunny Jesus was called Hey foxymophandlemama, it’s me on the original album release.
Fun fact: Vitalogy is actually my favorite Pearl Jam album. I walked across Bloomington at midnight to buy a copy of this album on release date and then stayed up to listen to it, pissing my roommate off to no end. I am literally the world’s biggest fan of the song Bugs. I love this album.
No Code (1996)
Best Song: In My Tree Indispensable Songs: In My Tree, Red Mosquito, Off He Goes Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Red Mosquito
I didn’t like No Code the first time I heard it. I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking. I have every word of Red Mosquito memorized and I have no idea why I can never remember the damn song’s name. It’s literally in the first line. I’m not very bright sometimes.
Yield (1998)
Best Song: Wishlist Indispensable Songs: Wishlist, Given to Fly, Low Light, All Those Yesterdays, Faithful Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Brain of J.
I was in the middle of a heavy hip-hop phase when Yield came out, so it’s one of the very few Pearl Jam albums I didn’t pick up immediately upon release. And it took a while for it to click, as did a lot of the middle-career Pearl Jam albums. But it’s got some amazing stuff on it, especially when played live and Eddie can never get the words to Wishlist right.
Binaural (2000)
Best Song: Nothing As It Seems Indispensable Songs: Nothing As It Seems, Insignificance, Of the Girl, Parting Ways Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: n/a
Binaural is one of the few Pearl Jam albums where I’m known to skip tracks, mostly because most of my favorite songs on this one are better live so honestly I don’t listen to it very often. I think it might be my least favorite of their studio albums, which doesn’t mean I don’t like it (I listened to it today on the way home from work, in fact) but something has to be my least favorite album.
Riot Act (2002)
Best Song: Love Boat Captain Indispensable Songs: Love Boat Captain, I am Mine, All or None, Cropduster Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Absolutely fucking Cropduster.
Love Boat Captain was our song at our wedding, and was quoted in the program: Hold me, and make it the truth/ That when all is lost, there will be you. This entire album is indispensable.
Fun fact: I’ve spelled indispensable wrong every single time I’ve typed it in this post, including that time, where I accidentally put an “e” after the “d.”
Lost Dogs (2003)
Best Song: Down Indispensable Songs: Down, Yellow Ledbetter, Hard to Imagine, Dead Man Walking, Last Kiss Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Drifting, because they also have a song called Drifting Away
Technically a two-disc collection of rarities and b-sides and not a true studio album, Lost Dogs is still a fantastic collection even if the ludicrous Gremmie Out of Control and Dirty Frank are on it.
Pearl Jam (2006)
Best Song: Oh god this is hard World Wide Suicide Indispensable Songs: World Wide Suicide, Life Wasted, Gone, Come Back, Inside Job Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of:None on this one
My god, I love this album. Affectionately known as the Avocado Album, I saw them at Lollapalooza while they were touring for this release, and I love it. I love it all. Absolutely the best of their post-nineties releases.
Backspacer (2009)
Best Song: Just Breathe Indispensable Songs: Just Breathe, Unthought Known, Amongst the Waves Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Force of Nature
I also saw them on tour for this one, at Deer Creek. Backspacer has always felt like them stepping back and taking a breath after Avocado, but there’s definitely some good stuff on here. It’s super short at only 37 minutes, though, so there’s no way for it not to feel a little unimportant in comparison.
Lightning Bolt (2013)
Best Song: Sirens Indispensable Songs: Sirens, Swallowed Whole, Sleeping By Myself, Yellow Moon, Future Days Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Swallowed Whole
I don’t give Lightning Bolt enough credit, I think, because it’s organized so oddly– all of the best songs are in the back half of the album, and other than Sirens I don’t really love any of the first six or seven tracks. That last third or so, though, is phenomenal.
Gigaton (2020)
Best Song: Dance of the Clairvoyants Indispensable Songs: Dance of the Clairvoyants, Seven O’Clock, Comes Then Goes, River Cross Best Song I Can Never Remember The Name Of: Seven O’Clock
I really love Gigaton, although I admit I don’t know it nearly as well as many of their other albums– probably because I’m not buying the concert bootlegs as fanatically as I used to and so I don’t have live recordings of any of the songs on it. Every time I listen to it I’m surprised at how good it is, which you’d think I’d have gotten over after four years. It’s not as lopsided as Lightning Bolt, either, so I really don’t have an excuse.
And there you have it. I’ll have heard Dark Matter by now, or at least be listening to it, and I am a big fan of the first two tracks, but we’ll see. The environment might have me come out raving about it or if it’s not as positive as I want it to be, it might hurt my opinion of the album. I can also imagine a world where I’m tired from work (ILEARN started today) and don’t really want to be out in public. I’m sure there will be a review of it soon one way or another.
Or Star Wars: The High Republic: Light of the Jedi, but these headlines can only be so long.
Here’s the thing: I’m pretty definitively in they keep pulling me back in mode with Star Wars. I actively despise the fandom as a group, and while there were definitely some things I really liked in the sequel trilogy (I continue to love The Last Jedi, and after a couple of rewatches The Rise of Skywalker has settled in at “dumb, but fun”) I still don’t like the broader decisions that those movies made. Or, to rephrase it in a way might not be helpful, I don’t mind the way they told the story they told, but I wish they’d told a different story.
And with the single exception of Claudia Gray’s Lost Stars and Timothy Zahn’s new Thrawn books, I haven’t really liked any of the books that have come out since Disney took over. The comic books have been uniformly pretty superb, but they’ve stuck within the confines of the OT and haven’t really roamed the timeline in either direction. And yet I’m still buying them. I could have dipped out with The High Republic, or at least shifted to waiting for paperbacks, and … well, you see how that worked out. It was a perfect excuse; set 200 years before the events of any of the movies, it would involve all new characters and had little risk of reinventing anything that I’d grown to love over the years.
But, damn it, the list of authors they’d gotten to work on this thing was something else. All of them great. And while authors I love have failed at Star Wars books before– one of my favorite authors, a guy who has written a number of books I’ve reviewed here and a few that have made it onto my end-of-year lists, wrote a Star Wars book that was so bad I couldn’t finish it— it was still all encouraging as hell.
So, yeah, fuck it, let’s read The High Republic. And while I’m not going to go so far as to recommend that anyone who wasn’t already thinking about it pick this up, this is good Star Wars. Charles Soule has written Star Wars comics in the past– and, again, the comics have been uniformly good-to-great, even after Disney took over– but to the best of my knowledge this is his first SW novel, and the high quality continues. One interesting thing that hit me at about the 50% mark of the book was that because they’re starting over with a clean slate (a couple of the longer-lived Jedi are still around, of course; Yoda gets namedropped several times but isn’t actually a character in the book, and there are a few other members of the Jedi Council who showed up in the prequels) he can really get away with doing whatever he wants to his characters. It doesn’t matter how dangerous the situation in the book is, you know Leia is going to be fine, right? You only ever had to worry when the books were pushing “now” forward, so they could kill Chewbacca off at the beginning of the Yuuzhan Vong war, but anything set before that, all of the major characters were going to end up intact at the end of the book.
Well, High Republic doesn’t have any “main characters” yet. If anything, that’s a weakness of the book– it never really settles on a main protagonist, and there’s a lot going on and a lot of characters, so the characterization is a little on the thin side. But the plus side of that is that Soule is free to kill off whoever the hell he wants and nobody is wearing plot armor. You don’t ever get to the level of holy shit did that just happen that, say, A Game of Thrones managed, but this isn’t a 600-page book, either. This is a good setup for whatever they have coming; the central struggle starts off feeling like a natural disaster and becomes more sinister as things roll on, the villains started off really giving off cut-rate Yuuzhan Vong vibes and became something more distinct and unique by the end, and the actual mastermind of the whole thing really comes into his own at the end of the book. Again, if you’re not already a Star Wars person you probably don’t need to join the club for this, but if you were kind of teetering on the edge like I was, this is worth the buy.
All right. So, we’ve got our tickets. We’ve secured the services of a babysitter, and we’re going to see it at 4:45 on Saturday. I should probably be avoiding spoilers, and reviews are starting to hit, but … damn, it’s amazing and deeply depressing how little I care. The Force Awakens has slowly evolved into my least favorite Star Wars movie, and while I haven’t turned on Last Jedi the way I did TFA, I also never watched it again after that initial viewing in the theater. I would like to watch it before the movie on Saturday, but who knows. I actually pulled it up on Netflix an hour or so ago and upon realizing that I would be watching it until 9:30 I turned off the damn TV instead. Maybe tomorrow, after my last teaching day of 2019, or Friday, when I get home (probably early) from my no-students teacher record day. We’ll see.
I just don’t trust JJ Abrams as far as I can throw him, and in general I don’t like any of the broader decisions this trilogy has made. Frankly I’m still not at all sure why there needs to be an Episode Nine, as I thought TLJ tied up basically everything we might need to have tied up from TFA. The two movies made a decent duology; I’m just not sure what the hell you might do with this third movie to make it a meaningful trilogy.
Meanwhile, there are two episodes of The Mandalorian left, and … well, I’ve watched them all, and I’ll watch the next two, and then I’ll forget the show existed until the next season comes out, because it’s settled nicely into a “this is moderately entertaining but utterly forgettable” sort of rut, and Baby Yoda has morphed from something that was initially at least adorable and intriguing from a story perspective into a Goddamned albatross. We’ll see if they pull anything together with this episode and the finale, which airs Friday, I think, but I’m keeping my hopes muted.
I dunno. I don’t want to be One of Those Star Wars fans, but I’ve been souring on the fandom since the prequels and I’ve grown gradually more disinclined to call myself a fan of the “saga” aspects of the entire thing since Disney took over. The books mostly aren’t even worth reading any longer; all of the good Star Wars material seems to be in video games and comic books lately. I’m not going to start ranting about anyone beating up my childhood or anything like that but I’m going into this movie expecting to come out deeply disappointed, and I really wish it was anything other than that. Hell, even mad would be better, as I suspect that would generate an entertaining blog post– I just don’t think it’s gonna happen.
We’ll see, I guess. One way or another I’ll try to not be too much of an ass about it.
I‘m elated to be able to announce this, as I had thought that I’d been locked out of attending, but my next convention appearance will be at Starbase Indy at the Wyndham Indianapolis West Hotel over Thanksgiving weekend! I’ll have all of my books with me, including Searching for Malumba, and I’ll have bookmarks available for giveaways again too. Maybe even something else, if I come up with some great ideas between now and then.
I will definitely have a booth in the dealer area, and I’m going to look into whether I can manage to be on a panel or two while I’m there as well, since that was something I wasn’t able to do when I was at InConJunction back in July. This will definitely be my last con of 2015, as I don’t even know of any taking place in December, but… man oh man, do I have some plans for 2016! Plans I can’t even tell you about yet! Woo!
More details to come later as things are firmed up.
…beyond the fact that I can never remember how to spell “embarrassing.”
So the new Mad Max movie is getting hella good reviews. I startled myself after the first trailer when I realized I wanted to see it, because, and this hurts to say, because as a proud geek this shouldn’t be true, but I’ve never seen any of the Mad Max movies. I don’t even think I’ve seen parts of any of them. I have a hazy awareness that Tina Turner is in the third one but that’s it.
My wife feels that this cannot be allowed to stand.
I know I’m not the only one of my people out there. What have you not seen, or not read, that you really ought to have seen or read by your advanced age?
(Here’s the trailer. This looks good! I am surprised.)
‘m elated to be able to announce this, as I had thought that I’d been locked out of attending, but my next convention appearance will be at