My con appearances for the rest of the year (and January!)

comiconlogo-Retina.pngJust because it’s been on my mind lately, and also because I’m not really interested in talking about school right now, here’s some information about upcoming conventions I’m going to be attending:

FIRST!  I will be at the 2nd Hall of Heroes Con in Elkhart, Indiana on September 8th and 9th– just a few days from now!  This will be the first con I’ve attended that was close enough to my house that I will be able to just drive to the con each day rather than having to worry about couchsurfing or getting a hotel room, so I’m pretty excited about it.  I’m on the 2nd floor of the Lerner theater in booth H4, directly across from the entrance to the Crystal Ballroom.  Folks who have been there in the past tell me this is a pretty primo spot, so I’m excited.

SECOND!  I will be at Kokomo-Con on October 13 in Kokomo, IN.  I went to this con last year and had an absolute blast, and had bought my booth for this year’s show before I even left last year’s.  It’s only a one-day show but I had a tremendous time last year and I have high expectations for this year’s show.  I just found out today that I’ll be at a three- day ed conference in Noblesville (just south of Kokomo) on the 10th-12th, so the logistics of getting down there just got sorta complicated and I’m gonna be tired and crabby, but still!  High expectations!  No word on the booth yet, but I don’t expect to be hard to find.

MAYBE!  I have been to Indy Pop Con twice, and am already signed up for next summer’s show, but they just announced that they’re expanding to Fort Wayne and will be doing a two-day Pop Con on December 29-30.  I will probably be doing this con, but I’m waiting for a paycheck or two from the new job before I put the money into it and I also need to be sure I want to do a first year con.  I’ve found Pop Con really well-run, though, so it ought to be okay, even though it’s on really short notice and it’s probably going to be a damn disaster but what the hell let’s risk $150.  Fun!

PROBABLY, I HOPE!  I am signed up for ConFusion 2019, which is January 17-20, and I need to figure out if it’s really all four days, but the vendor tables are juried and the deadline isn’t until August 31 so I don’t know if I’m actually officially accepted as a vendor yet.  I mean, I’ve never not been accepted for one of these things, so I have high hopes, but it’s still possible they’ll say no.  A lot of authors who I’m huge fans of are regulars at this con, so I’m crossing every digit I have that I get to go.

Mark your calendars and come see me, dammit!

Go home, Amazon, you’re drunk

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Are reorders on Amazon really so common that that button needs to be next to books now?  Am I using it wrong?

Because God forbid I don’t double-post on Friday

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Take a look at the logo on that picture.

Just what the hell is going on there?

First, the weirdly-quasi-racist Yellow-Peril-with-a-mustache lookin’ laughing dude who replaces the letter “O.” I can deal with that.

For no clear reason, the second letter O is an eyeball. Which… okay.

But look at the I in “Joking.” Why the hell is that a little person? And somehow that’s the detail that pushes this logo from poorly-designed to truly inexplicable. Why the hell are any of these letters actually other things? Who the hell designed this? Who approved it? And why is the whole logo on what looks like a splash, and how long has this thing been in my gameroom and I’ve never noticed how goddamned weird it is, and holy hell is the yellow dude masturbating?

It may be time to call it a night already.

In which homonyms are complicated

Under ordinary circumstances, I’m not really the type to bribe my classes with candy.  I hand it out now and again, certainly, and will use it as a minor incentive for minor stuff that they would be doing anyway.  For example, we write every Friday morning; I give the kids who read what they write a Jolly Rancher.   Sometimes I give them two if whatever they wrote manages to entertain me.  I used to do a trivia question every week that was due Thursday; kids who got it right got a piece of candy on Friday.  (You may be seeing a theme here.)

I’ve been trying to give away the same container of Jolly Ranchers for a while now, to the point where I thought they were getting old– at least to the extent that it’s possible for Jolly Ranchers to get old– and I decided that today I was finishing off the container no matter how ridiculously contrived the reason for handing out Jolly Ranchers was.   Making this easier was the fact that most of my knuckleheads in first and second hour are suspended right now, so the kids were much more likely to behave than normal.

“Work on this assignment,” I declared grandly, “and I shall reward those of you who do not annoy me with these Jolly Ranchers.  Perhaps more than one, if you please me greatly and are not otherwise foolish.”

(Yes, those exact words.)

Fifteen minutes later, they were noisy.  “Remember, folks, Jolly Ranchers are at stake here,” I said.

One of my smarter kids– I swear, one of the smarter ones– puts her hand up.

“Is you sayin’ you gonna give us steak, too?”

(I’m reproducing her words precisely.  She actually generally doesn’t talk like this; her speech gets more slangy when she’s expressing surprise.  True story.)

For a moment, this confuses me.

“No.  What?  Jolly Ranchers.  No steak.”

The students go insane.  There is a chorus of complaints.  I remain bewildered.

“You said Jolly Ranchers and steak!”

Sigh.

There has to be a factory somewhere that’s actually hiring, right?

Okay, stop the world, I’m getting off

Ladies and gentlemen!

I give you… the internet.