I still can’t really talk about the new job (that restriction should be gone to some extent by the end of the week) but I’m pretty sure I can talk about this.

There’s a new kid coming into the building next year.  This is obviously not a new thing.

He has a criminal record.  This is also obviously not a new thing, although I’d prefer it happen less often.

The criminal record involves felonies.  This is, uh, worse.

Felonies involving state police.  Even rarer.

I am likely getting some of the details wrong and am probably lying about some of them, but apparently this kid has managed, in two separate incidents, to shut down the email system of an entire school corporation and once managed to coax state government officials into giving him important email passwords over the phone, which he used to impersonate a government official in mass emails to members of a school community.

In…

wait for it.

Wait for it.

waaaaaaiiiiiiittttt for it.

Fourth grade.

He did this in fourth grade.  He was arrested from his dinner table and charged with multiple felonies in the fourth grade.

And he’s ours next year.

Fun!