Not in the mood

I had a shit day today, a shit day for the ages; quite possibly the single worst day of the entire year so far.  And I am not in the goddamn mood for this, and want to completely forget every second of the last 24 hours happened, so forget blogging for today.

In which I release a dove

The floodwaters appear to have receded as of about 11:00 PM last night, still with no explanation.  I had nearly a thousand hits yesterday (previous record was 708) with no discernible uptick in interaction with the site.  As of right now, a much-more-typical 28 page views.

Weeeeeird.

Thus endeth this week’s blogwankery.  I promise to not mention traffic again for a while.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: contents of mah belly

Bison meat.  Peanut butter.  Jalapeño peppers.  Cheese.  Onion.  Bacon.  And wedge fries.

Life is good.

Also OM NOM NOM.

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In which I explain

Man, I can’t even imagine what kind of crazy shit it must have brought on ten thousand years ago to look up in the sky and see this happening:

62hTev9I’ve eliminated one possible reason for The Surge: it hit me this afternoon (in the midst of teaching an algebra lesson and, to wit, being observed in same by my assistant principal) that it was possible that I was in the midst of a wave of spammery.  Not the case; Akismet has only caught a handful of spam comments in the last couple of days.  At any rate, it’s not quite 4:30 and I’m about to catch yesterday’s traffic.  I already have more uniques than I’ve ever had in a single day, for the second day in a row.  Still no clue where everyone’s coming from.

Anyway.  Let’s tell a DC story; I teased this with a sentence earlier but I figure you maybe deserve the entire story.  One of the problems with my career is that I am occasionally forced to act as somewhat less than a decent person because I am a teacher.  (At this point I spend twenty minutes digging through my archives to look for a post about a couple of kids finding me at a gas station and demanding a ride home; I can’t find it.)  (EDIT:  Aha!)

This is one of those stories.

For the first time, the hotel we stayed at on the DC trip had a pool, and a pool with reasonably late hours so that the kids stood a good chance of being able to swim both nights we were staying there.  They had a couple of hours during the first night, as a matter of fact.  The chaperones just went downstairs and chilled next to the pool while the kids splashed and threw each other around, occasionally reprimanding stupid behavior (true, hilarious fact: after one transgression, one of my chaperones– who is our gym teacher– actually made one of the kids get out of the pool and do push-ups.) but mostly just watching.  By the time the pool closed most of them (and the chaperones) had gone back to their rooms and it was just down to me and a couple of kids.  Now, the hotel has a rule– which they had been informed of– that denizens of the pool need to be wearing shirts while wandering around in the hotel.  One of my girls, while getting out of the pool, discovered that one of her roommates had absconded with both a) her shirt and b) her room key.  Neither of these are really big problems, mind you; I had her drape her towel over her shoulders (large towel, slim girl; no biggie) and I had extra copies of all the keys in my room.

We knocked on their door first; nobody home.  Well, fine, I’ll go get my key and let you in.  I turned and left, not really expecting her to follow me; I didn’t even actually notice she’d tagged along until I had my room unlocked and was halfway in.  At which point it hit me that the hotel hallway camera was about to record my ass taking a half-naked soaking wet fourteen-year-old girl into my hotel room.  

I’m still not sure whether making her stay in the hallway counts as an etiquette breach– I suspect it was a bit of an asshole move– but… yeah.  No, we’re not letting that video get taken, even just for a few seconds, even if leaving you in the hallway to drip while I go inside and figure out where I tossed the envelope full of room keys seems kinda rude.  And thus the sentence, which, delightfully, cracked her up once I said it.  And then the keys were located and she was let into her room and all was well again.

(Had a similar moment on the way home where several kids tried to get me to add them as friends on Snapchat.  Uh, guys?  Snapchat is for sending nekkid selfies.  Ain’t no damn way I’m adding you on no Snapchat.  Sorry.)

Ah, teaching.

 

Okay seriously WTF

The Inexplicable Traffic Surge of Inexplicableness continues apace. I set a record yesterday for unique viewers– over 300– and as of 6:30 AM already have 120 unique viewers today and 160 page views.  I have never woken up to numbers like that, ever.  And everything’s still coming from overseas, without referrers, and via what appears to be direct clickthroughs to random posts:

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I really wish the countries box listed everything; there are probably at least another dozen or so with less than 4 hits, if the last seven days summary means anything.  Of that list on the right, only “On thpoilerth” is from the last couple of days.  And 88 other hits to posts not on that list.

I ain’t complaining, but man, I would love an explanation for this.

 

On accomplishments

I have filed my taxes, like a good ‘merkin.

BE PROUD OF ME.

On thpoilerth

63401-Grumpy-cat-game-of-thrones-spo-8TvyLet’s talk about spoilers, guys.

I usually don’t watch Game of Thrones.  I have a complicated relationship with the books and until literally this weekend I hadn’t been able to find anyone willing to let me share their HBO GO password; I haven’t enjoyed the TV series enough for the few episodes I’ve watched to get me to pay for it on iTunes or anything like that.  That said, my wife and I were aware that Something was going to Happen in the episode that aired last night, and so we made sure to tune in.

Afterward, in what is quickly becoming a ritual after any major entertainment event, I logged into Twitter to see what people were saying about it.  Now, unlike, say, the Red Wedding, where the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth could be heard from space, this was an event that I figured the fans of the show who hadn’t read the books would be exultant.  Finding this, though, brought quite a smile to my face (and, uh, spoiler alert?):

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And then something interesting happened.  A whole bunch of people started jumping on King’s ass for posting spoilers.  And lo, there was a kerfluffle on Twitter.

Motherfuckers:

I don’t care if you never read the books.  Joffrey dies in the third Song of Ice and Fire book.  That sumbitch came out in the year 2000.  That was fourteen fucking years ago.  You do not get to bitch about spoilers from a fourteen year old book.  No.  Unacceptable.  Furthermore, you definitely do not get to bitch about spoilers from a fourteen year old book when the place you encounter the spoiler is on Twitter ten minutes after the episode ended.  (I have no idea what’s going on with the timestamp up there, by the way.  He definitely posted the Tweet after the episode ended, not that it matters.)

Twitter is The Place of Spoilers, morons.  I don’t get to watch The Walking Dead until about 24 hours after it airs most weeks.  You know what I don’t do between TWD airing on Sunday night and me getting to see it Monday night?  Go on fucking Twitter.  Or io9, for that matter.  You know why?  Those are places people go to talk about television shows.

How goddamn stupid are you?

King, luckily, took it in stride and began vigorously mocking his detractors by posting spoilers from Romeo and Juliet, which I thought was awesome.

Point is: if you want to avoid spoilers, you should probably avoid spoilers.  Or you run the risk of strangers on the interwebs calling you a dumbass, you dumbass.

Weird

Anybody else seeing a noticeable spike in traffic today?  Going to no particular posts, and from waaay more countries (the US is currently only accounting for about 25% of my traffic– and it’s still the largest single country) than is typical in a day?  I have more unique visitors already today, without a post, than I usually have in an entire day, and they’re much more spread out geographically than usual– but no referrers that would give me a clue as to where it’s coming from.  Anyone else seeing that?