In which the impossible happens, over and over again


This thing– I’ll call it a cabinet, although I don’t think that’s quite what it is– is available for sale at my place of business.  It is made entirely of wood other than the hinges and the hardware on the drawer pulls.  It is sitting on a linoleum floor in front of a wood counter and is nowhere near any electrical outlets.

It is made– I’ll say this again, because it’s important– of wood.

This sentence is 100% true unless I am hallucinating or crazy:  I have, at least a dozen times over the last two days, touched that piece of wood furniture and gotten a static electricity shock from it.  Now, by my understanding of how static electricity works, that is entirely impossible.  I was working with two other people on my side of the store all weekend and unless they were fucking with me (which is not unlikely) neither of them experienced said shocks.  It was only me, and it was happening frequently.

Someone explain to me how this is possible, please, other than “You’re nuts, and that didn’t happen.”  Because, again, as far as I know it’s impossible, and yet it was happening anyway.

Published by

Luther M. Siler

The author of SKYLIGHTS, THE BENEVOLENCE ARCHIVES and several other books.

3 thoughts on “In which the impossible happens, over and over again

  1. Does it have rubber feet? (Under the actual feet?) And is it varnished incredibly thickly? What kind of shoes are you wearing? Could be people are rubbing against it and charging it up, and you’re the only one with conductive shoes who can get rid of its charge.. maybe..?


  2. I get shocked constantly, and if you can figure out why it happens, you’ll have a life-long friend. It is so bad that when I change position in bed at night, I can actually SEE Sparks under the covers. It drives me nuts!!!


  3. My money’s on the highly polished/varnished surface versus whatever you’re wearing. There’s probably something science-y rattling around in my hind-brain to explain it, but I can’t find the file, so I’m going with the money bet analogy. 🙂


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