In which nowhere is safe

I’m writing this at 9 PM on Sunday.

Be aware that as of the time you read this I’m about 11 hours into a 24-hour internet blackout.  I won’t be posting again or even looking at the blog until after I’ve seen THE WALKING DEAD, and notifications for all my interwubz apps except for text messaging are turned off on my phone.

OMG RUN WILD EVERYBODY

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Creepy Children’s Programming Review: OCTONAUTS

6630bc3207651991e913e0e48d119eeeaa360e59So here’s the new hotness:  Octonauts, a show about British (mostly) animals (mostly) who live underwater in a giant octopus and Do Science.  Most of them, as I said, are various flavors of British, and their accents are region-specific.  Then there is the one with the southern accent (and by “southern accent,” I mean “southern US”) and what might be an attempt at a Mexican accent, maybe, since the character’s name is Peso?  Only they’re all done by British voice actors, and they are perhaps done by British voice actors who have never met southerners or Mexicans, because the southerner (“Tweak,” the rabbit) sounds like the worst stereotype of a toothless Mississippi white-trash hick you’ve ever heard and the Mexican accent sounds so un-Mexican that I thought the character was supposed to be Asian at first.

Here are the Octonauts.  They are so, so, so British, even the ones who aren’t British.

587d105778baebb5135df748f2f31a2d.jpgYou’ll recall I said they were mostly animals.  Note the plant on the right.  His name is Tunip, but I thought it was Turnip until seeing it in print just now.  The rest of the characters have personality and agency; Tunip and his other plant-based lifeforms appear to be either vegetable-based Oompa Loompas or actual slaves, and they really don’t fit into the rest of the show very well.  It’s bizarre.

At any rate: Every episode involves the Octopod tooling around in the ocean and dealing with some sort of sea animal’s problem, or sometimes the sea animals are the problem.  The animation is kind of cool and the ocean backgrounds are really neat even without the massive, Thomas the Train-level Britishness.

So goddamn British.

There’s a weird colonialism thing going on here, too:  the white … polar bear? in the middle up there is Captain Barnacles, who has the Britishiest of the accents, and he’s in charge.  He’s supposed to come off as this nineteenth-century naval captain dude.  In practice, this means that he assumes in any situation that whoever he’s dealing with will understand and assume that he’s rightfully in charge and what he says is the best thing for everyone.  Even if it’s a indigenous culture species of animal they’ve never seen before, obviously everyone ought to just agree with what the white animal thinks.  He’s the Captain!  Don’t you understand what that means?

Then there’s always a song at the end.  It’s the Creature Report.  It lives in my brain now, and I hear it all the time, everywhere I go, no matter what, forever.  Let it be in your brain now:

I like the show.  It makes me crave crumpets, and I don’t know what crumpets are, but I like it.  That said, if I try to drift off to sleep one more night with the Creature Report running through my head, I will kill a substantial portion of the Midwest’s population.

No big deal.

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STATION IDENTIFICATION: Infinitefreetime.com

Hi!  I’m Luther Siler.  I’m the author of Skylights, available for $4.95 from Amazon, and The Benevolence Archives.  You can download Benevolence Archives Volume 1 for free from Smashwords or OpenBooks.com, and Volume 2, which comes out April 28th, can be pre-ordered from Amazon here or added to Goodreads shelves here.

This post is a bi-weekly service for new folks who might want to know where else to find me on the Web.  Regular folks, if you see the STATION IDENTIFICATION tag, feel free to ignore it.

So here’s where to find Luther Siler on the interwebtron:

  • You can follow me on Twitter, @nfinitefreetime, here or just click the “follow” button on the right side of the page.  I am on Twitter pretty frequently; I use it for liveblogging TV, whining about anything that strikes me as whine-worthy, and for short, Facebook-style posts.  I generally follow back if I can tell you’re a human being.
  • My author page on Goodreads is here. I accept any and all friend requests.
  • I have a Tumblr!  I don’t actually know what Tumblr is, because I’m old, but I’ve got one.
  • My official Author page on Amazon is located here.
  • Feel free to Like the (sadly underutilized) Luther Siler Facebook page here.  It’s mostly used as a reblogger for posts.
  • And, of course, you’re already at infinitefreetime.com, my blog.  You can click here to be taken to a random post.

Thanks for reading!

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THE SANCTUM OF THE SPHERE comes out in a month!

Sanctum_72dpiIt’s coming.

My new book, The Sanctum of the Sphere: The Benevolence Archives, Volume 2 releases one month from today, April 28th.  As of right now I am a tiny bit behind schedule in finalizing the manuscript and the print and ebook versions, but nothing I can’t overcome, especially since my Spring Break is the week after this one.  I’ve been (mostly passively) advertising the book around here for a bit now, and have had a couple of formal posts (like this one, the full print cover reveal) about it, but it’s time to start thinking about more “official” marketing efforts.

Specifically, I’m asking for help.

Two different kinds of help, in fact:

  • Day One Reviewers.  Or, at least, first-week reviewers, although the more reviews I can have up on Amazon on day one the better.  If you’re interested, drop a comment in the post and let me know.  I’ll send you a free ebook once the copy is finalized; it has to be done (the book, I mean, not your review) by the 17th but my current plan is to have it finalized a week earlier than that.  You read it and leave me an honest review: at least on Amazon, but a Goodreads review is also appreciated.  Folks who reviewed BA 1 or my alpha readers are automatically approved; if you don’t fit into either of those categories I’ll probably send you a book anyway if you interact with me here or on Twitter enough that I recognize your name.
  • Rebloggers, well-wishers and interviewers.  I’ve already got a couple of most excellent people who are planning on doing interview posts as promo around release date; anybody else who is interested, regardless of how much traffic your blog gets, is gratefully appreciated.  Consider it an Ask Me Anything, only without Reddit.  So long as you post sometime around release date and link to this blog and the Amazon page for Sanctum, you can literally ask me whatever you want.  Let me know you’re interested via comments here, send me an email with your questions, and I’ll answer ‘em and get back to you as quickly as I can.   I’ll also link to the interview from this site once the post goes up.  Rebloggers and well-wishers can have at it as they see fit.  I have been known to return favors, too, by the way.  :-)

One note on the request for reviews: I do not, at least not officially, participate in review swaps, although there are examples out there of authors where we have mutually reviewed each other.  If you’re an indie author and your book comes to my attention, I may well review it anyway, but I won’t lock myself into reviewing something just because you review my book.  I will probably help you out with promo later if you do an interview, though.

(Does that make me a dick? I hope not.)

It should go without saying, but: I genuinely appreciate anyone who is willing to help out here, despite that last paragraph.  Thank you in advance.

The Sanctum of the Sphere is available for digital pre-order from Amazon here.  You can also add it to your Goodreads shelves here.  If you haven’t read Benevolence Archives, Vol. 1 yet, you can get it for free from Smashwords or Openbooks.com, or you can pay $1.99 to get it from Amazon.

Thank you!

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WALKING DEAD recap up; begin chewing your nails

Right here, at Sourcerer, as always.

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